and her adventures in Atheism
Do you Pinky Swear?
“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?”
What if–instead of swearing on a bible, holy book, or other boring document–we could pinky swear? I’d even go for a “cross my heart” every once in a while.
Well, the folks over at secularpinkyswear.org have got the right idea. They’ve written out a pledge for those who wish to live by secular principals.
Here are the ideals you would affirm:
- I will be open about my secular values and will not feign religious values due to pressure from friends, family, employers and/or the general public.
- If I face religious pressure in the future, I will be mindful that as an individual I have a right to believe and act in a way that I deem appropriate. To accept dogma, superstition or creeds that I don’t believe in would be to sacrifice freedom of conscience and expression on the altar of conformism.
- Without need for religious reference, I will make every effort to take a mature, intelligent approach to decisions regarding my sexuality. I understand the appropriate context for sexual abstinence and appreciate the benefits that communication and maturity bring to intimacy.
- If I marry, my wedding ceremony will be either humanist, secular, or a joint ceremony that avoids the implication that I hold to views not actually my own.
- If I have children, I will recognize the importance of letting my humanist values inform my childrearing, and won’t yield to cultural, family, or other pressures to indoctrinate them into traditional religious beliefs or force them to participate in religious rites of passage.
- Without losing sight of the importance of diverse viewpoints, I will encourage others to appreciate the value of reason, compassion, equality, and other enlightened principles that make the world a better and safer place for humanity, now and in the future.
- In all of my actions, and without threat of divine retribution, I will strive to respect the dignity of all people.
That first one is a real challenge for me, since I’m still in the closet. I don’t pretend to have religious values, but I am not public about the fact that my views are godless. Think I could still put my name down?
What do you think of these affirmations? Would you add any others? Will you pinky swear?
(via @Pharyngula)
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about 9 months ago
I know I'm not following a whole lot of these. I'm not able to come out with my beliefs right now, especially with my fundamentalist parents and my fianceé's fundamentalist family. I'm betting my wedding will be a pseudo-religious service, and I won't be raising my children secular if my fianceé has a say in it, though we won't be indoctrinating them in religion either. It's more of a presentation of all sides and letting the children decide. Anyway, I hope that one day I can abide by these principles, but at the moment it just doesn't seem feasible.
about 9 months ago
Hey JP, I hope you don't mind me voicing some questions. No pressure to answer, of course.
Does your fiancée fully understand and support where you stand on matters of faith?
Since child-rearing and religion in the home are some of the most important issues a married couple has to agree on, are you two really solidly nailing down what life would be like (practically speaking) since you are a non-christian and she is one?
I was raised by a Catholic mom and a Presbyterian dad, and even then there was a lot of discussion, compromise, and planning to be really clear what traditions, teachings, activities, and practices were going to be part of the family culture.
Wishing you the best of luck with all of it!
about 9 months ago
i think it makes sense! that's how i'm living my life!
about 2 months ago
I'll start by saying that a lot of people I'm friends with on facebook don't know yet that I've deconverted from Christianity.
My status: _____ is all for breast cancer research and awareness, but wonders how informing her facebook friends of the color of her bra is really going to help with that.
Lots of people have messaged me or left comments thanking me for standing up for the gospel and for purity and telling me that I'm a wonderful example of a godly woman.
…What? I was simply expressing curiosity about what exactly this silly meme was going to accomplish.
I suppose this is a good way to start letting some of them know that I'm not trying to be a good fundy girl who is pure and modest and cares about not "defrauding" her brothers or causing them to stumble.
about 2 months ago
It doesn't surprise me that they believe your "moral upright attitudes" have solely to do with your faith and not to do with–you know–YOU.
about 2 months ago
I wonder what these fellows struggling with their purity do with all of the pictures people post on their facebook pages? Most of what I see from my friends' (and maybe it's just my friends, but…) photos is waaaaaaaaaay more provocative than a random color posted as a status update. I don't know- the whole thing just seems silly to me (both the meme itself and its apparent reaction).
about 2 months ago
I don't doubt that there are plenty of men like those described in the gentleman's post. There certainly is a subset of men who will get riled up just knowing the bra color of the women on their facebook feed. And?
More to the point, there are men who are so repressed and obsessed and afraid of sexuality that they think that they have the right to impose their standards on other people and expect those people to follow them. If you are bothered by things people post, stop reading updates from those people. Seems simple enough. But no, he feels the needs to try to scare them into doing things his way with a faux boogeyman of internet stalkers. Which simply tells you what a truly disturbed and potentially dangerous person *he* is, because the implication is that he would be that stalker if he weren't afraid of being punished by God.
As a side note, it took me three days to figure out what the random colors people were posting in their updates. Hardly in-your-face provocative titilation if you ask me.
about 2 months ago
I am all for people trying to live their lives as pure as they desire. However, what I am not for is when purity people try to influence the behaviour of other people according to their purity beliefs. They do not have the right to try to modify people's behaviour according to their own view of the world. If Facebook is getting too unpure for them, then leave Facebook. They shouldn't try to modify anyone's behaviour on there to fit their view point.
Besides, if knowing a chick's bra colour is going to cause them to deviate off their path of purity then their will to remain pure must not be very strong.
about 2 months ago
As an atheist man who is extremely prudish for some reason when it comes to sexual matters, I still think this letter is 100% bullshit. I don't understand how knowing anything about the colour of some woman's brassiere has any effect on anything – even my own mental state. It doesn't cause me to think about that woman's breasts or to fantasise about engaging in sexual congress with her; all it does is make me wonder why on earth she would care to disclose that information and/or what she thinks it will accomplish. This letter only serves to highlight the mental issues of the man who wrote it.
I have neuroses that make me extremely uncomfortable with sex, but I don't project them onto everybody else (well, within reason – I don't like to see people engaging in overly passionate "public displays of affection" and I might snidely ask them to get a room, but aside from that…), and I think that's the difference between somebody like me and somebody like the man in question who is basing his concerns on religion. I know that my issues are irrational; he does not.
about 2 months ago
Oh my god. I escaped the church in part because I never wanted to hear the phrase "stumbling block" ever again. (I don't think "JoeBob" even used the term, but I was bracing for it.) Only under the repressive cloak of strict organized religion can a mentally healthy, fully grown, married man feel that knowing a woman's bra color could make a straight guy over the age of 14 think dirty thoughts. I am so glad that if I have a son he'll be raised to laugh it off should he ever come across the knowledge of his female friend's undergarments. Yet another reason to leave Christianity for me.
about 2 months ago
*laughing at "stumbling block"* May I say (r)amen to that?
about 2 months ago
Internet stalker? Hardly. He just described a guy who likes to picture breasts. Whoopdeedo. No implication and it comes off like a strawman.
Despite my defense of this guy, I totally agree that this whole reaction comes from repressing healthy sexuality.