Were you raised as a Christian? Then perhaps you remember catchy songs by Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber of Veggie Tales, a morality-teaching, values-encouraging, Bible-Story-Telling cartoon series that’s still publishing silly songs and DVDs today. But the Tales are too modern, too palatable to the secular audience. If you really want to raise your kids with Bible Values™, you should go back to the 1980s. Before the computer animated Veggie Tales, there was Psalty the Singing Songbook. Children such as myself were raised by Psalty the Singing Songbook and his pals, the Kids Praise gang. This music group made videos and records in the 80s and 90s that helped reinforce Bible verses, the gospel message, and Christian values into the minds of impressionable children.

I loved it! Here’s how awesomely bad these videos actually were:

Kids Praise 5: Psalty’s Camping Adventure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnm3VRUuhhk

“Throw the ball! Praise the Lord!” … “Howlelujah!” Pure gold wrapped up in a primary color package.

One thing I learned from this video was that children are whiny little runts, and a guy wrapped in skintight blue spandex-polyester blend with a hunchback is even more likely to complain and bitch on a long musical hike. I won’t even mention the nightmares I’m going to have tonight about that giant dog.

Bonus! “Psalty: Behind the Music”:

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9 thoughts on “Indoctrination: 80s Style”

godlessgirl · June 7, 2009 at 2:07 am

ha! I really loved this crazy stuff as a kid, Alex. I'm so glad you were spared!

Alex · June 7, 2009 at 1:04 am

I'm glad this weird thing didn't come to my country. We only got the good American stuff, like Die Hard. :))

I couldn't watch it longer than one minute, for it's unbelievably stupid. And utterly fake.

Lost Boy · June 12, 2009 at 5:10 pm

Is it just me, or is there something wrong with a grown man, in pathetic dog makeup, shaking his leotard-wearing behind at a bunch of little kids?

This is demented…

guest · November 14, 2009 at 5:23 pm

I think it's rather quaint!

Janice · January 30, 2010 at 11:21 am

now what IS weird is a big square yellow sponge. At least Psalty had values that were imparted to the kids. I really feel sorry for you. what is amazing to me, is that God still loves you in your hate of Him.

Pony · January 31, 2010 at 12:59 am

And leprechauns still have a pot’o’gold for you, Janice, despite your hatred of them.

I used to have a cassette recording of Kid’s Praise 5. So it did make it to Australia at least. We also had “Children of the Voice” which was a shameless copy of “The Pilgrims Progress”. But I think that came from the UK.

Tiffany · July 13, 2011 at 10:27 pm

You know what’s funny? As you let yourself devolve into hopelessness, I can’t help but feel sorry for you. I found this site while looking for lyrics to an old psalty song for some comfort. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer this week at an advance stage. Funny how we run back to things loving and familiar. Even if I didn’t believe in something greater than myself, I can’t see how teaching your children to follow the golden rule and love your neighbor could ever be detrimental to their development. I certainly will raise my child in the same loving way I was raised. I have no regrets.

    ChristopherTK · July 14, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    I’m sorry for the bad news regarding your father and I hope for the best but you made some comments that need addressing.

    Where did you get the idea of her hopelessness?

    And believing in something greater then yourself is fine, if it exists — your implied god is not one of them. I also don’t see where you get that the golden rule and love your neighbor is exclusive to your implied religion either.

Mike · August 26, 2012 at 6:39 pm

hahahaha wow. I was subjected to psalty as a kid too. It has actually taken me forever to find anything about it because I had no idea it was spelled like that. suspected an elaborate childhood hallucination. thank god really does exist. were you also down with mcgee and me? what about odyssey? anyway…I’m atheist now…so….fail.

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