Image © Mike Stimpson

Image © Mike Stimpson

I feel especially high on love this weekend, so I wanted to ask you folks for your perspectives and stories on the subject. Feel free to answer these on your blog or in the comments below.

  • When was one time you felt truly loved?
  • Can you love someone without liking them?
  • What’s your favorite love song?
  • One of my friends became an atheist last year and stopped believing love existed. What’s your reaction to this?
  • What’s your favorite way to receive love? How about showing/giving love?
  • Do you think there are different kinds of love? (ie. romantic, friendship, love for things, loving your pets,  familial)
  • What’s one of the oddest or stupidest things you’ve done for love?
  • Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”)
  • Is love an emotion or an action (or something else altogether)? Can they be mutually exclusive?
  • Is it possible to love without conditions? i.e. No matter what someone does, feels, is, or could possibly be, you’ll love them.
  • Is is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
  • It is said that sacrificing your life for another’s is the highest form of love. What do you think?
  • When does infatuation turn into love?
Related Posts with Thumbnails

13 thoughts on “Love Questionnaire”

Adam · July 18, 2009 at 8:20 pm

1. When was one time you felt truly loved?
Can it only be one time? I feel quite loved every time I come to see Tabi.
2. Can you love someone without liking them?
I suppose, but I have to think that would be very difficult and probably would result from having loved and liked someone and just having lost the like part.
3. What’s your favorite love song?
I have several…
4. One of my friends became an atheist last year and stopped believing love existed. What’s your reaction to this?
I think that's just silly. My fiancée and I are both non-believers and we love each other very much. Love is very real.
5. What’s your favorite way to receive love? How about showing/giving love?
I like a bit of variety. Physical affection is nice, but so is just doing something nice like washing the dishes or something.
6. Do you think there are different kinds of love? (ie. romantic, friendship, love for things, loving your pets, familial)
Yes.
7. What’s one of the oddest or stupidest things you’ve done for love?
So many things!
8. Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”)
To a certain extent…
Is love an emotion or an action (or something else altogether)? Can they be mutually exclusive?
9. It's an emotion, it's showing the action… I think love is really just something totally transcendent and rather beyond definition.
10. Is it possible to love without conditions? i.e. No matter what someone does, feels, is, or could possibly be, you’ll love them.
I think so. That's my goal with Tabi. I want to love her completely unconditionally.
11. Is is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
That's a tough question. It's hard to lose, but the experience of love is incredible. I suppose I'll have to get a yes on this one.
12. It is said that sacrificing your life for another’s is the highest form of love. What do you think?
Yes and no. It's great to be willing to lay your life down for someone, but an even bigger show of love is to live your life for that person. It's easy to die, it's hard to live.
13. When does infatuation turn into love?
That's a great question. I'm not really sure.

    godlessgirl · July 18, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    "an even bigger show of love is to live your life for that person. It's easy to die, it's hard to live."
    Love this point, Adam.

WongoWoman · July 18, 2009 at 8:33 pm

I'll answer question 2: Can you love someone without liking them?

I'm going to say YES to that. Otherwise I'd have no relationship with my family!

    godlessgirl · July 18, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    Haha! I'm glad you've discovered that peaceful medium 😉

Munaq · July 22, 2009 at 12:56 am

1. From time to time i feel truly and utterly loved by my wife.

2. Yes, but it's different from that other love, less physical.

3. Kiss Me – Sixpence none the richer.

4. There's no doubt love exist, but people tend to view it as a spiritual non-physical thing, which it's not. Accept love is a chemical reaction, accept it's beautiful and overwhelming. Love is greater when you understand it.

5. Physical, particularly hugs, but love kisses too. I've always offered devotion to my loved one.

6. Yes, but I think calling them "kinds of love" is only a semantic simplification.

7. I married at 22, but was great and still is.

* Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”)

8. It can't be quantified but can be compared ("more than", "less than" or "in a different way").

9. Love is an emotion, like hunger, is up to one to fulfill the urges it comes with.

10. It's possible but requires someone of very particular characteristics.

11. I'm not sure, if I lose my loved one I would die right after (or worse) but having to chose between that and never have loved her, I would rather die.

12. Sacrifice can be very selfish, unless it's "used with property".

13. I consider love to be grown up infatuation, a feeling that is mature enough to fully understand sacrifice and commitment.

    godlessgirl · July 23, 2009 at 5:56 pm

    Your marriage sounds so full of love! Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me 🙂

      munaq · July 24, 2009 at 5:10 am

      And I feel fulfilled. Thanks a lot, you make me feel so grateful for the things I have.

      (Grateful to time, chance and luck; the three things randomness needs to give you nice surprises or bad news.)

greengeekgirl · January 1, 2011 at 11:54 am

When was one time you felt truly loved? Right now ^_^ all the time.

Can you love someone without liking them? Yes, this is especially true when it comes to complicated family relationships.

What’s your favorite love song? Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney

One of my friends became an atheist last year and stopped believing love existed. What’s your reaction to this? Sadness. Whether or not you believe love is some mystical thing or a biological/psychological thing, it’s wonderful.

What’s your favorite way to receive love? How about showing/giving love? Hubs and I are big on snuggling. I also like to cook for people and give gifts–outside of my marriage I’m not a very physical affection person.

Do you think there are different kinds of love? (ie. romantic, friendship, love for things, loving your pets, familial) Of course!
What’s one of the oddest or stupidest things you’ve done for love? I quit my job and moved across the country to be with my husband.

Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”) I think it can be comparative, but not quantified. And I think it depends on what kind of love. Romantic love grows with the relationship, I think–I can honestly say I love my husband now more than I did when we first got together, because we have grown into a deeper relationship.

Is love an emotion or an action (or something else altogether)? Can they be mutually exclusive? I think love goes beyond both emotion and action, but encompasses both. Love can titillate or hurt; love can be expressed through action but also felt. It’s more of an attachment and connection to someone or something else.

Is it possible to love without conditions? i.e. No matter what someone does, feels, is, or could possibly be, you’ll love them. Yes, but I don’t think this means that you have to support them or condone them if they do something you think is morally reprehensible. “The heart wants what it wants.”

Is is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all? I think so.

It is said that sacrificing your life for another’s is the highest form of love. What do you think? I don’t think so.. I think it’s just a manifestation of love. I think that, in a realistic situation (unless you’re going to war and you know ahead of time you will be in danger), the decision to make that sacrifice would be so quick that you wouldn’t even think about it.

When does infatuation turn into love? I think this differs person to person–sometimes it never does.

Greateighthsin · January 1, 2011 at 8:03 pm

When was one time you felt truly loved?
The last few days before I broke up with my ex

Can you love someone without liking them?
Only for a short time, and this is after having a falling out with that person that you liked.

What’s your favorite love song?
I don’t have one, sort of. It’s complicated.

One of my friends became an atheist last year and stopped believing love existed. What’s your reaction to this?
A little foolish, but understandable.

What’s your favorite way to receive love? How about showing/giving love?
My absolute favorite is to cuddle with my romantic partner or pet. With friends or family, it’s when we both can forget troubles and really connect as friends with personal stories, jokes, and even friendly debate.

Do you think there are different kinds of love? (ie. romantic, friendship, love for things, loving your pets, familial)
Definitely. There is the obvious romantic, but I personally love my cat, and there is familial love (which I don’t have/get).

What’s one of the oddest or stupidest things you’ve done for love?
Ugh.. chased a girl for 6 years and 4 break ups.. Even moved 350 miles away to live with her disgusting selfish family. NEVER again!

Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”)
Yes, just like every emotion, there will be times where the emotion will be stronger at one point than the other.

Is love an emotion or an action (or something else altogether)? Can they be mutually exclusive?
Love is emotional. I attribute it to affection, admiration, and empathy.

Is it possible to love without conditions? i.e. No matter what someone does, feels, is, or could possibly be, you’ll love them.
Yes. In any relationship there will be times of falling out, but you can still move on and love them and have the opportunity to forgive them.

Is is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
Depends. Definitely not applicable to everyone’s experiences.

It is said that sacrificing your life for another’s is the highest form of love. What do you think?
No, the greatest gift you can give for love is to literally give the gift of love, and try your hardest to retain it until your time has been spent.

When does infatuation turn into love?
When infatuation turns into a deeper admiration.

Roofwoofer · January 27, 2011 at 3:12 pm

I have a question about this:

Many atheists state that one of their primary objections to the existence of God is that there is no evidence for it that would stand up to the scientific method.

So the question is, are there things that are real but that reality isn’t supported by results of scientific testing.

So, in what sense is love real? Does it exist? If you believe someone loves you, what would you say if someone asked you to prove it?

PaganMusing · May 3, 2011 at 10:10 am

1. When was one time you felt truly loved?
Off the top of my head, I’m not sure. Other people’s emotions and reactions to me are tricky. I’m not even sure feeling loved is essential to me or that it would be something I’d identify.

2.Can you love someone without liking them?
Yes you can and I certainly do love at least one person and don’t like him in the least.

3. What’s your favorite love song?
Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls or Violet Hill by Coldplay or Naive by The Kooks or I Will Possess Your Heart by Death Cab for Cutie

4. One of my friends became an atheist last year and stopped believing love existed. What’s your reaction to this?
I’m surprised that they would deny the chemical process that’s involved with love. An example would be the chemicals released to help foster bonding and togetherness after sex or the instinctual need to protect child or family. It’s not a romantic idealized idea of love and it’s not the full extent that I mean love when I talk about it, but it’s part of that emotion and something I find hard to deny.

5. What’s your favorite way to receive love?
In my own time at my own pace. I’m kind of guarded and stand-offish though. Respecting my needs above one’s own need to profess or show me said love is probably how I’m most aware that one cares for me.

6. How about showing/giving love?
Impulsively and by surprise. With joy and exuberance. Little bit and pieces at a time, through that small thought or consideration. Too much at once is overwhelming.

7.Do you think there are different kinds of love? (ie. romantic, friendship, love for things, loving your pets, familial)
Yes.

8. What’s one of the oddest or stupidest things you’ve done for love?
I moved across the country into a depressed area without job or family near by and without appropriate reciprocal commitment.

9. Can love be quantified? (eg. “I love you more than my ____” or “I love her more now than ever.”)
No

10. Is love an emotion or an action (or something else altogether)?
Both.

11. Is it possible to love without conditions? i.e. No matter what someone does, feels, is, or could possibly be, you’ll love them.
You can love without conditions, sure. That’s why betrayal from someone you love hurts so much, you trusted them and you still love them but you can’t reconcile whatever it is that they’ve done with someone whom you “should” love.

I do love without conditions, but I don’t react that way. There are many things more important to me than love. I always tell potential mates that I while my love is infinite and unconditional, having a relationship with me comes with very specific parameters.

12. Is is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all?
I think it is, but I wouldn’t generalize for others and the people I’ve “loved” I still love very deeply, I’m just not with all of them for various reasons. I don’t know if that qualifies as a loss or not.

13. It is said that sacrificing your life for another’s is the highest form of love. What do you think?
I disagree basically because I think it over values death and under values life. Beyond that I think that holding death in such high regard may encourage people to take that step when there are clearly other options.

14. When does infatuation turn into love?
I know it when I experience it, but I couldn’t make that decision for anyone else.

Jin-oh – Atheist|Geek|Nerd|Social » In Response: Love Questionnaire · July 19, 2009 at 12:58 am

[…] In Response: Love Questionnaire July 19th, 2009 Jin-oh Choi Leave a comment Go to comments VN:F [1.5.4_809]please wait…Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)Originally posted by Godless Girl in her post Love Questionnaire. […]

Does Love Exist? | Godless Girl · May 3, 2011 at 4:09 pm

[…] few months ago a reader, Roofwoofer, posted a question in response to my Love questionnaire: Many atheists state that one of their primary objections to […]

Leave a Reply

Related Posts

personal

Relationship Funerals & The Way We Say Goodbye

One year ago today I wrote the following in response to this piece about Relationship Funerals I share it now with you. A breakup ritual could be incredibly beautiful… and painful… and healing. It’s one way Read more…

personal

Pull My Strings.

Love is the influence of action, the strings that pull the marionette. Each energetic tug of the puppeteer tosses us into one another, playfully jostled into action until we are so wrapped up in each Read more…

Christianity

Let’s Give It Up for the WTF

I love that somewhere out there in the world lives a person who uses precious minutes of their day to comment on reviews of Snow White and the Huntsman like this: THANK YOU TO THE USA. Read more…