Thursday Thirteen #1: 13 Movies I Can’t Stand

I used to participate in Thursday Thirteen way back in the day of my old blogs, and it was a lot of fun! There’s something about lists that I find ripe for amusement. I’m feeling quite meme-friendly right now, so I’d like to contribute to a few now and then to satiate my need for easygoing content. We can’t be hard all the time, right?

thursdaythirteen

  1. 2001: A Space Odyssey – I may have been introduced to this flick too early, but if I wanted to jump out the window to avoid boredom at 13, I am not quite sure my reaction would be much better 13 years later.
  2. Mission to Mars – Thankfully, I saw this terrible movie on my first official date with a new boyfriend. It gave me lots of time to snog.
  3. The Black Dahlia – Dark, frustrating, and not the least bit as interesting as the case it chronicles.
  4. Extreme Days – The best part of this Christian extreme sports movie is an entire scene of lighting farts on fire.
  5. Borat – Apparently my humor has limits.
  6. Showgirls – But who doesn’t? I mean, just watch  the pool sex scene (actually, don’t). I nearly peed my pants laughing!
  7. Left Behind: the Movie – This could actually fit into the “awesomely bad” category of films I’d watch with RiffTrax commentary, but I start to claw my eyes out about 15 minutes in.
  8. Life As a House – Truthfully, it isn’t that bad. I just hate it because of how much crying I did balled up on the floor before it even reached the third act.
  9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – I want to make a cut of this movie without all the special effects and see the sludge that oozes out from my iMac.
  10. Sideways – Maybe if I was drunk I would have enjoyed this midlife crisis on film. Mostly I was just bored to tears.
  11. Meet the Parents – Being embarrassed for someone else is something I try to avoid completely. This was two straight hours of torturous empathy. The sequel was bearable.
  12. Dirty Dancing – Rest in Peace, Patrick Swayze, but I’ll put baby in a corner… of a dark cellar never to be seen again.
  13. What About Bob – Yet another example of having too much empathy (for the psychiatrist!). I spent years loathing Bill Murray until I finally got over myself and saw Lost in Translation. It almost helped.

(hint: check out the links to see IMDB links, trailers, and clips)

What movies do you hate? Leave a comment and let us know. If you’ve participated in TT this week, enter the post’s permalink in the form below and I promise to check it out!

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September 24, 2009  |  memes, surveys and lists, videos

20 Comments


  1. 2001 is a lot easier to watch if you have read the book, as there is a lot going on that the movie can't show, because it would take DAYS.

  2. My in-laws LOVE Borat, but I just can't see the humor. It seems so mean-spirited to me.

  3. Are you MAD?!?!?!

    1) Kubrick's space epic is the single greatest static photograph ever taken. It doesn't move, it moves you. You stare at it like you would a great masterpiece and let it flow over you—like the hypnotic effect of a fine wine. It is the story of everything.

    2) Mission to Mars is a piece of shit.

    3) Never seen it.

    4) Never seen it.

    5) Borat is an acquired taste for sure.

    6) Never seen it.

    7) I've never felt more like seriously hurting someone than I did watching the first 30 seconds of this staggeringly stupid pile of wilfully ignorant garbage.

    8) Never seen it.

    9) The more we go down this list the more I'm thinking about letting you off for number 1, as I would rather watch nothing but Left Behind: The Movie, all day everyday, for the rest of my life than accidentally glance in the direction of a Transformers movie.

    10) AND THEN YOU GO AND SPOIL IT ALL!!! Sideways is a beautiful analogy for non-homosexual male bonding and the confusion and frustration of having a passion for something which paradoxically destroys the self. It is a wonderful, wonderful piece of writing and direction and the lead actors are, quite literally, flawless.

    11) Meet the pieces of shit.

    12) I've had the piece of shit of my life and I owe it all to yooooooo

    13) Never seen it.

    • Haha! you crack me up!
      Yes, I am nuts. One reason is that I don't watch movies for art's sake or for deep reflection; I watch them for entertainment and common interest. So if I don't enjoy something, it doesn't mean I don't see how genius it is… it means I just don't enjoy it 😀

  4. Honestly, I haven't seen most of those movies. Probably because the previews were just too stupid to merit watching the whole movie. For some reason I did see Meet the Parents. Ugh! What a waste of my time. Didn't see the sequel.

    Nice list.

  5. Awesome list! I agree with so many of them!

  6. Borat? Ugh! My son forced me to watch that. I didn't hate EVERY minute of it, but would never have made it past the first five, given a choice.

  7. Well you've got some of my favorites on your list! Such as Borat (though I can see how it could be on hated lists) and Meet The Parents – I don't see how anyone could dislike that one. I thought it was hysterical and it was great to see Diniro in a comedic role. I hated the sequel. I don't know why Dirty Dancing is such a magnet for me – maybe it is the only time Swayze ever did anything for me – all of his other movies I just didn't find him to be attractive. I call it my guilty pleasure. I like What About Bob – "baby steps" but not enough to defend it. I agree with you on Sideways – that one just didn't do it for me.

  8. I also cannot stand Meet the Parents!!!!! Horrible movie!

  9. I agree with Meet the Parents, but I'll leave it off my list just cause you already said it. In no order:

    1) Dogma — Fuck Kevin Smith's long-winded nonsense. This movie's like watching a pretentious 13 year old playing with action figures when you know there's a perfectly cute and approachable girl next door.

    2) War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise — The most ruined classic, probably in all movie making

    3) Armageddon — I DO wanna close my eyes, and I DID fall asleep

    4) Elf — The joke is Will Ferrel is big, but elves are small and we're all a little dumber for having sat through this.

    5) Batman Forever/ & Robin — Joel Schumacher should be tried for these.

    6) The DaVinci Code — When I read the book I thought it was like a shitty X-file, but then I saw the movie and confirmed it.

    7) I Am Legend — No you're not. You're Will Smith and you fuck up everything you touch.

    8) Independence Day — See what I mean? If the one-liner obessed idiots in this movie are anything like the actual people on Earth, maybe it's time alien overlords with no message, reason or incitement (providing the viewer nothing at all to think about) should come and take over.

    9) Airplane II — Once is funny. Twice is so unfunny, it makes the first one less funny.

    10) Vicky Christina Barcelona — The Story of four yuppies trying to figure out how to best waste their shallow, annoying, humorless lives. Spoiler: They decide on fucking.

    11) August Rush — A movie based in some alternate reality where children roaming New York City's streets are surrounded by talented, benevolent cowboys and diabetes can be contracted from simply watching a movie.

    12) Austin Powers — No Baby.

    13) There's Something About Mary — And that something is dick jokes.

    • 1) I tried to like it, but I only liked Buddy Christ
      3) And allllll of its imitating movies.
      5) Those are so campy that they're hilarious to watch!
      7) Gotta admit I like Will Smith in most of his stuff.
      12) Glad I'm not the only one! Yeah baby, yeah!
      13) If I have to see that damn hair gag once more…

  10. Sideways sounded good…but omg, talk about whiney!

  11. Aw, man, I LOVE Dirty Dancing! And psst….I didn't find Showgirls that terrible. LOL. Thanks for visiting my T13!

  12. Guess What We are IDENTICAL thanks to this list 😀

  13. Well, the good thing is that I don't know most of these movies, and don't plan to watch the ones that I have heard of. I did like Transformers and Dirty Dancing though. =P =)

  14. I wanted to marry Christina Applegate in 2002 so imagine my horror when I saw ‘The Sweetest Thing’. I have never forgiven her!

    The only other movie I have seen that even comes close to this in awfulness was ‘The Beverly Hillbillies'(1993).

    Sometimes though (and I point a finger at 2001: A Space Odyssey) a personal review can be very subjective. I can understand why a 13 yr old might not enjoy a science fiction classic.

    I remember seeing ‘The Killing Fields’ when it first came out (I was 17) and hating it until I watched it again 10 years later, freed of my teenage angst and appreciating it for the great film it really is.

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