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For my Christian and ex-Christian friends: What have your churches been named?  Do the youth groups/small groups/Sunday school classes/ministries have catchy names?

I’ve been entertained lately by the four distinct themes I see in church naming:

Name-dropping: “St. Rhubarb Our Lady of Grace Holy Catholic Church”
Please Take a Number: “Fourth Baptist Church of Savannah”
Damn-long Denomination: “Holy Lovers in the Congregation of Christ’s Menorah”
Catchy Camouflage: “Peacewalk Community Mosaic”

As for youth groups, they want to attract kids who need action, excitement, a sense  of purpose, and an identity to rally around. In a (not much more) mature way, so do adult groups. Some group names I know or have seen around (and yes, I got a bit carried away with this):

  • Turning Point
  • Freedom 56
  • The Call
  • Bibles and Beer [no joke, they brew their own!]
  • Fusion
  • Crux
  • Da Jesus Chicas
  • Pathfinders
  • J. C. 24: Seven
  • Red Sea
  • Merge
  • Regener8
  • The Flock
  • Fireproof
  • Unplugged
  • Souled Out

And of course Christians loooove their acronyms and will stretch them as far as possible:

  • The ROCK (Reaching Others for Christ’s Kingdom)
  • D.A.W.G.S. (Dynamically Annointed With God’s Spirit)
  • ZAPT! (Zealous About Praising Together!)
  • PIERCED (Prepared In Evangelism Receiving Christ Every Day)
  • PHAT Ministries (Pursuing Holiness And Truth)
  • PULSE (Purposeful Under our Lord’s Satisfying Expectations)
  • VARSITY ROCKS (Victoriously And Responsibly Sustaining the Integrity of Today’s Youth by Righteously Obtaining Christ’s Kindness and Spirit) [you've got to be kidding me!]
  • TUXIS (Together Under Christ In Service)
  • TRASH! (The Real Answer Starts Here!)
  • R.A.D.I.C.A.L. youth ministry (R.eaching A.nd D.iscipling I.n C.hrist A.s L.ord)
  • TNT (Twenties and Thirties)
  • WHAM (We Have A Mission)
  • DUNG (Deliberately Uncreatively Named Group) [please say this is real!]