8 Funny IRC Quotes About Christianity

IRC is packed full of perfect examples of human intelligence, wit, and ridiculosity (yes, that’s a word now). Check out these golden quotes!

Nick A dot: so you dont believe in aliens?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: no
Nick A dot: so you believe that in this whole unfathamably huge universe, we’re the ONLY life?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: yep, thats the way God made it
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: and theyre not mentioned in the bible so they obviously dont exist
Nick A dot: i see… do you believe in dinosaurs?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: well yeah of course, weve found their remains!
Nick A dot: yeah, but THEYRE not mentioned in the bible
xXH0tsuMm3RfUnXx is offline

HellPopeHuey: So, didja get some real work?
Epoch: yeah, today I cleaned viruses off a pc at a baptist church… viruses obtained by SURFING PR0N
HellPopeHuey: Jesus saves… your History

<Ender_CN> I read the bible, as soon as I found out god was jesus’ father I knew it was just a cheap star wars rip off so I stopped

*** Now talking in #christian
-Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info
<Abstruse> !kjv numbers 22:21
<Word_of_God> Numbers 22:21 — And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. –  (KJV)
*** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au
*** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear)
<Abstruse> I know I’m never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that…

<DannyB> some girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused

<Duskmon> It must have blown to be one of the first outsiders to convert to Christianity.
<Duskmon> Like, you’re reading through the Bible for the first time, and then a bunch of Hebrews burst into your Church shouting “CAIN KILLS ABEL IN GENESIS FOUR VERSE EIGHT!”

<Nukleon> the greek “hell” was cold
<Nukleon> like the norse
<@amz> the christian hell is also pretty cold, compared to its heaven
<Nukleon> uh
<Nukleon> wut?
<Nukleon> heaven is bliss
<@amz> it has liquid sulfur in it, so it can’t be over 400 celsius… on the other hand, the bible describes the sun in heaven shining like 7 suns, each 7 times as bright
<@amz> which gives an estimate of 2000-3000 celsius

<@Lerou> Lag makes baby Jesus cry.
<@TempusRob> pssh
<@TempusRob> talk about lag
<@TempusRob> it took him 3 days to respawn

(source and source)

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December 22, 2009  |  christianity, funny, god, Jesus, quotes, the bible

8 Comments


  1. The one with a bible bot is hilarious. Though I'm disappointed not to see the reactions of other people.

  2. the Ender_CN one had me ROFLing.

  3. Biblebot pwnage was pretty good. I actually lol’d.
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