Is church so boring that you need to liven it up with a bit of booze?
Think you’ll grow intimately with the lord with a little liquor in you?
Does the thought of reciting one more “Our Father” drive you to drink?

Have I got the solution for you!

The Hollow Book Flask Safe
$50.00 from SecretSafeBooks on

Bible Flask Safe on

Bible Flask Safe on

The way of salvation…nah.
Comfort in time of loneliness? Nope.
ALCOHOL! Yes! Cheers, mate!

“Help in time of need” indeed!

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14 thoughts on “Alternate Use for the Bible”

The Big Blue Frog · June 14, 2010 at 12:28 pm

I’ve tried making safe books before, and I always make a mess out of them. There must be a trick to it.

    Godless Girl · June 15, 2010 at 8:50 am

    I guess it depends what you cut the paper with?

Matt Warren · June 14, 2010 at 12:32 pm

“No wonder they call it the good book” – Homer (Simpson)

okfine · June 14, 2010 at 5:18 pm

lol that could almost be a metaphor for what people really get out of that book.

Andrew Hall · June 14, 2010 at 8:15 pm

Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems. – Homer Simpson

vjack · June 15, 2010 at 6:14 am

The best one I’ve seen uses the Christian bible to conceal a handgun instead of a flask. I just think that is perfect for the “Jesus loves you” crowd.

    Godless Girl · June 15, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Jesus loves you with a .38 in the chest.

gruntled atheist · June 15, 2010 at 10:19 am

I use my bible for a door stop but this is definitely better.

    Godless Girl · June 15, 2010 at 10:31 am

    That kind of a large door stop. I’d trip over it and injure myself.

    But I suppose that would only be appropriate 😉

Gizmo · September 8, 2010 at 4:07 pm

A couple of years ago I gave my friend a hollowed-out Bible with a glass pipe inside for her birthday. It was pretty much the greatest thing ever.

Sorry for commenting on an older post; I just discovered your blog and have been busily devouring it for the past hour or so. ‘Tis quite lovely. 🙂

    Godless Girl · September 12, 2010 at 2:52 am

    Thanks for checking it out! I always appreciate comments.

Guy Curtis · February 11, 2011 at 6:19 pm

I always like to remind non-drinking Christians of 1 Timothy 5:23.

LogicalPremise · November 9, 2011 at 12:53 pm

“Stumbled” [no, I didn’t have a flask] upon this older post & couldn’t help but re-imagine what Christians meant when they said that the Bible filled them with the “spirit”.

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