photo by Dietmar Temps

According to Urlai—a web tool that analyzes writing samples from your site to determine your style— has been judged on the following classifiers:

  • Gender
  • Age
  • Mood
  • Tonality

So how did I measure up?

Text analysis is probably written by a male somewhere between 66-100 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

Despite my sarcasm, cuss words, and vagina, this is what the internet thinks of me? Hilarious. I love it. I am an old man who speaks personally and is generally happy. Hoorah for me!

Now what to do with these boobs…

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16 thoughts on “I’m Actually an Old Man”

Rhacodactylus · October 13, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Don’t feel too badly, it essential said I was gender neutral . . . just because a guy likes to dress well . . .


    Godless Girl · October 13, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    I think that’s called “drag,” hon. 😉

      Rhacodactylus · October 14, 2010 at 4:44 pm

      You try finding men’s clothes to fit these hips =P

Godlesspaladin · October 13, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Wow, apparently I’m a cranky old woman between 66-100. I never knew menopause and osteoporosis would affect me at the tender age of 22 and with testes. <.< I'm calling Dr. Phil.

    Godless Girl · October 13, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    How did we switch genders? I’ll trade ya!

      Godlesspaladin · October 13, 2010 at 3:31 pm

      In a sec, I’m not done looking in the mirror…oh wait…I’m 60…. >.<

mcbender · October 13, 2010 at 5:06 pm

I’m reminded of that tired old joke that “on the internet, GIRL is an acronym standing for ‘Guy In Real Life'”…

That said, I don’t put too much stock in these things. I tried a similar tool on multiple samples of my own writing once and it expressed a very high level of confidence that I was female (which I am not).

    Godless Girl · October 13, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Wow, I haven’t heard that one since like… 2000. Haha.

matt · October 13, 2010 at 5:39 pm

It said Hemant was a 66-100 year-old woman.

    Godless Girl · October 14, 2010 at 12:49 am

    Well I saw him tonight, and he definitely looks like a dude. I guess we were switched at birth.

TheSecretAtheist · October 14, 2010 at 2:50 am

This thing thinks we are all old people, that is for sure! It says I’m a man (just barely) between 66 and 100. I am neither upset nor happy, and very personal in my writing.

Running my non-anonymous blog through the thing (which I haven’t posted on in months) it turns out I’m over 2/3 a woman, and it gets my age right with 26-35.

What a strange tool.

TheSecretAtheist · October 14, 2010 at 2:51 am

Heh… And probably the longest post on the other blog that it used was one I generated with Google’s Scribe text prediction service… I wonder how it dealt with THAT mess.

George W. · October 14, 2010 at 9:30 am

If you were a real 66-100 year old man, you would know exactly what to do with a pair of young, firm breasts.
Fondle them in the mirror for hours.
Who are all these 66-100 year old bloggers they compare everyone to?
I ended up being a male (correct), 66-100 (way off), academic (hardly) who is upset (maybe?) most of the time.

I assume I’ll need to start blogging about PS3 games, pot activism, and “hot chicks” if I want to bring my age down. Maybe a few “lol”s, “lmfao”s or “FTW”s might help too.
Oh well, I’m off to watch Matlock re-runs, write letters to the editor, and shake my fist at little kids who step on my lawn.

    Ahab · October 15, 2010 at 7:53 pm


    Anyway, I took the test myself a few weeks ago, and I received the same rating as you did: male, 66-100 years of age, academic and upset.

    Godless Girl · October 25, 2010 at 8:50 am

    It’s settled. Since I used to watch Murder She Wrote and Matlock, I must be old.

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