comic by Ken Fager

After my family stopped attending Catholic mass regularly and started frequenting a Presbyterian church, I discovered the absolute delight of “Communion Sundays,” which were only once a month. I loved the tiny little plastic cups passed around in fitted brass plates. After sipping up the grape juice, I would do the classy and mature thing by sticking my tongue into the cup to get every last drop from the bottom. I’d suction it onto my tongue, waggle it around, and make silly faces at my friends until an adult noticed and I had to busy myself with the bulletin or something.

My favorite part of Communion Sunday was the bread. I loved that bread. I sometimes called it “3-D Jesus” because it was in a small cubed form instead of the flat, bland wafers we used to dissolve on our tongues at mass. No crackers or matzo here, just soft cubes of a dead guy.

The best thing about this bread was its taste: it was sweet like buttered honey and it fairly melted into your teeth like a soft candy. Jesus tasted damn good. I once tried to take more bread from the passing plate, but I felt ashamed that someone might see, so I contented myself with just one tiny square of Jesus.

Now that it’s not even symbolically holy and I still remember the scrumptious taste of that bread on my tongue, I very much want to eat it again—but in mach larger quantities. Did they buy it or bake it? Is this a common communion food among protestant churches? I’ve googled “sweet communion bread recipe” and not come up with anything particularly enticing.

If you’re out there, Jesusbread baker, can you give me your recipe? I want some with a little honey on top. Like, now. I’m starving.

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17 thoughts on “Sweet Jesus, You Melt in My Mouth”

Ahab · October 11, 2010 at 11:46 pm

Do you remember the name of the Presbyterian church you attended? Can you contact them and ask about the bread? It sounds yummy.

    Godless Girl · October 11, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    I could at least ask if they use the same bread and where it’s from. I wonder if they’d ask me why 🙂

Rhacodactylus · October 11, 2010 at 11:48 pm

See, and I was always the one asserting that it was equally likely the nachos at the football game I was missing for church were the transubstantiated body of Jesus . . . Jesus warned of leavened bread, and nachos are unleavened, coincidence? I think not!

Muir · October 12, 2010 at 1:30 am

The (very non-traditional) Catholic church in which I was raised had communion bread very similar to what you describe. I’ll try to track down the recipe.

PrettyMolecules · October 12, 2010 at 3:34 am

It’s almost like you’re describing brioche bread (which comes in a few varieties). A kind of french sweetbread.

Andrew Hall · October 12, 2010 at 7:13 am

I always thought that communion would’ve been better if the body of Christ was a donut.

krissthesexyatheist · October 12, 2010 at 12:43 pm

When I was Catholic, I never liked the taste of Jesus. I was more into the “Blood of Christ.” Awewsomeness.

Kriss

Three Ninjas · October 12, 2010 at 1:28 pm

Real Live Preacher once did a communion wafer taste test!

http://www.reallivepreacher.com/rlparchive/node/819

    Godless Girl · October 12, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    wow, I had forgotten about RLP! Didn’t he stop blogging ages ago, too?

    TheSecretAtheist · October 16, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    That video is wonderful! The third example makes me wonder what my brother in law does for communion at most churches since he has to avoid even small amounts of gluten.

    “Those aren’t bad. I mean you wouldn’t eat them while you watch a movie or something.” And now I have my new favorite party snack idea!

Jenny · October 16, 2010 at 12:21 am

I wonder what manufacturing Jesus would feel like.

TheSecretAtheist · October 16, 2010 at 5:47 pm

I know that in the first church I remember growing up (second church I went to) that they used white bread cut into cubes. Just plain old white bread, probably Sunbeam or something like that.

Then a lot of Baptist churches started using these little square crackers that I thought of as “pillows” since they were shaped sort of like square pillows.

The Presbyterian church I went to used those little wafers with a cross in the center, the kind of thing that just melts away.

A lot of Baptists are now using matzo. I’m not a fan. It tastes like an unsalted Saltine.

I have no idea what the bread you are referring to is, however, and this comment is less than useful. 😀

    TheSecretAtheist · October 16, 2010 at 5:48 pm

    I don’t mean to keep spamming your comments with my blog posts, but I keep not noticing the little checkbox under the “Submit Comment” button until after I have clicked said button.

    Godless Girl · October 17, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    I think using matzo is like smacking the Jewish part of the bible (breaking bread, passover seder, yada yada) in the face. Just my opinion 😉

Amanda · September 10, 2015 at 8:09 am

Did you ever find a recipe? I came upon this blog because I was talking to one of my coworkers (who is Catholic, I was raised Presbyterian) about communion bread. And she likened the Catholic wafers to cardboard and I remember Jesus tasting so damn good on communion Sundays! I’m looking for a recipe and the Googles sent me here!

I feel like I could’ve written your entire post, btw.

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