Remember the large statue of Jesus that was destroyed by fire?

It’s being replaced–this time of a 51-foot walking Jesus with his arms stretched out in a welcoming gesture.It will be called “Come Unto Me.” Welcoming or not, I want to name this thing Zombie Jesus. He wants your brains and he’s coming for you!

An artist's rendering, released in Nov. 2010, of the new Jesus statue that will be built at Solid Rock Church in Monroe to replace the one destroyed by fire in June last year. (

This time around, non-flammable materials will be used in construction and a lightning suppression system will be built in to prevent a repeat of the June 2010 blaze that reduced the first structure – a waist up replica of Jesus with arms raised high – to pieces of charred steel.

Good idea.


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22 thoughts on “Zombie Jesus Replaces Touchdown Jesus”

Three Ninjas · April 7, 2011 at 11:11 am

Come unto me. Heh heh heh.

    Godless Girl · April 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    That’s what she said.

Andrew Hall · April 7, 2011 at 11:16 am

Obvious(?) joke : It could be pedophile Jesus, too.

David Bishop · April 7, 2011 at 2:18 pm

Think of the money wasted on this “graven image” that could have put to good use helping real people in need.

    greateighthsin · April 7, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    I guarantee they got huge chunks of donations after that happened, too.. I also guarantee that there will be left over money that will more than likely be pocketed.

ChristopherTK · April 7, 2011 at 5:21 pm

The good news is jesus will be fire-resistant.

The bad news is that you can’t touch him. The statue will be made with asbestos — touching jesus might cause cancer.

    Godless Girl · April 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Back in the day, touching his garments healed you of menstrual hemorrhages (Luke 8:40-49). Clearly his robes have gone stale.

      ChristopherTK · April 7, 2011 at 10:14 pm

      A young woman, made by god, touches god, while he is pretending to be a human. Faux human states the woman’s touch has caused his virtue to leave him.

      Why is the christian faith different from the muslim faith when it comes to feelings about women?

Lou Doench · April 7, 2011 at 6:38 pm

I live just down the highway from this monstrosity…
my first thought on seeing the new design?

“Peter! I swear, the one that got way was THIS BIG!”

Michael LaRocca · April 7, 2011 at 8:25 pm

He is risen. Run for your lives!

Harold · April 7, 2011 at 11:08 pm

I’ve recently started thinking of Jesus as some sort of reverse zombie (he wants you to eat his flesh). You could also think of him as a vampire, as in some settings where vampires feed their blood to regular people to enthrall them. Both cases account for proselytizing as a means to expand the flock.

Kirby · April 7, 2011 at 11:57 pm

It’s pretty tall. I think they should put a strobe on top of it so planes don’t hit it. Wouldn’t that look cool? A huge Jesus with a strobe going off on his head.

    ChristopherTK · April 8, 2011 at 5:45 pm

    Strobe light; don’t forget Daft Punk.

    Brian · December 19, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    Devo Jesus whipped the money changers good in the temple.

Riz S · April 8, 2011 at 4:31 pm

If only all of that time and money (the materials were probably donated but still, they have a monetary value) were put toward something *useful*! Like starving people! Or homeless people! Or starving homeless people!

Oh well. Maybe next time. 😉

A · April 9, 2011 at 5:18 pm

You might mock Him now, but there will come a day you just might be sorry. The sheep will be separated from the goats.
He doesn’t demand you all come to Him…He said specifically He came for those in need of a physician (those who are sick)- apparently none of you fit the bill. What He meant was, those who knew they needed and wanted God…not those who were fine without Him.
And when quoting the Bible, stick with the King James Version- the closest to original manuscripts one can get- all others are blasphemous, noncredible versions.
“to us it is LOFE but it is foolishness to those who are perishing”

A · April 9, 2011 at 5:19 pm


Stephen Moore · April 12, 2011 at 12:57 am

“This time around, non-flammable materials will be used in construction and a lightning suppression system will be built in…”

Why is it that the most faithful tend to exhibit the least faith?

ทีเด็ด · April 28, 2011 at 11:48 pm

Thank you for’Good news this chapter. I think if everyone did well. There would be no problem varied That may not be edited offline. Every web station to think a plan

cameraquality · July 17, 2011 at 5:30 am

This it a goods and I Like.

Jason Nelson · November 25, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I always knew it as “Butter Jesus” because of the color … and I guess it re-cogealed into a Zombie-ish form. I drove by it today and I’m mortified that I’m the same species as these people.

Touchdown Jesus, meet your replacement. Zombie Jesus « Searching for Enoch · April 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

[…] of Jesus? Godless Girl, an atheist blogger, nicknamed the new statue “Zombie Jesus” in her April 7th entry.  Ouch. Sometimes the honest opinions of the world strike us Christians like . . . well, you can […]

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