Dear Godless Girl: “Speaking with A Wicked Tongue”

I am fortunate that I don’t have much hatemail to sort through despite having an atheist blog filled with snark and sassmouthin’. So when I get choice emails like this, it’s fun to share them with the entire class:

Wtf  godless girl really?… Ur takin these stories and makin them sound crazy with ur ghetto gibberish I really wanna blow up on ur stupid retarted ass ppl like u hold other ppl back in growin in the lord you make it look like it a bad book are you readin it to twist the words around and make it look like u want it to say I’m sorry but u need to stfu and Gtfu really this kinda crap pisses me off to the fullest may god have mercy on u for sharin this kinda nonsense. And may god forgive me for speaking with a wicked tounge

-Erica

Thanks, Erica; that was a lot of fun. I’m not sure to which post you are referring, but perhaps it was “WTF Bible Stories: Rape, Marriage, and Circumcision” or maybe “Sexism in the Bible.” If Yahweh wants to clarify the “ghetto gibberish” my “retarded ass” is writing, he’s more than welcome. He didn’t communicate very well the first time around, wouldn’t you say?

Cheers!

 

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January 13, 2012  |  Dear Godless Girl, funny

19 Comments


  1. I don’t know why, but the fact that she signed this message “-Erica” made me laugh. The whole thing was so ludicrous and jumbled, but then she brought it all back together with a proper ending is hilarious to me. What a ridiculous letter and a ridiculous point. But hey, at least someone is reading! That’s a plus. Anyway, happened upon your blog and will be tuning in from now on. Keep up the good work.

  2. Maybe it’s a function of my age (fifty). Maybe it’s a function of the style of education I had (and continue to have).

    I was taught that no matter how earnest I am in attempting to convey a message, no matter how well I know my topic, I have to speak in complete sentences, or many of the people I want to convince will write me off as a doofus with no credibility. One of the problems folks like me face with the style of writing your contributor gave us–including the over-use of colloquial acronyms and the lack of punctuation–is that it discredits her before she got any semblance of a point across.

    She may be knowledgeable. She doesn’t show any familiarity with cohesive thought conveyance, so I can’t tell.

    Then, of course, there is the “may god have mercy on you” stuff. She already knows you don’t believe in her imaginary friend. Her patronizing attitude doesn’t win her any points with me, either.

    Yeah, in other words, it’s a pretty funny way of proving her point–that she doesn’t get your point.

  3. If I read this right, that poor woman needs professional help. It sounds as if she believes either you have people living on your ass or that you possess “ass people”, who I presume only come up to waist height and do not have a torso or head as we know them. She has very specific delusions: your ass people have low intelligence and mental disabilities. Worse, it sounds like she wants to kill them in a suicide bombing!

    On a serious note, I want to point out that you incorrectly quoted her. She said your “retarted ass”, not your “retarded ass”, spews the “ghetto gibberish”.

    • Thank you for the fantastic visual of “ass people” who will now be haunting my dreams. 😀

      Oh, my mistake. I am a wee bit of a tart, so perhaps she’s right about my ass.

      • But your ass would have to have “tarted” at least twice to be a “re-tart”. She needs to learn about punctuation as well as spelling. I’m not sure what the Babylonians or Sumerians have to do with anything – she keeps referring to the city of Ur, and what a power company from the NW (the PPL corporation) has to do with anything either…I can’t figure it out. Maybe “stfu” and”gtfu” are ancient deities dealing with lightning – is that the relationship? Or maybe she’s lazy and intellectually a failure, at least with the English language, as well as any sort of critical thinking. That would fit the racism inherent in the “ghetto gibberish” comment.

  4. ‘God’ must give out lots of peanuts because ‘he’ sure attracts a lot of gibbering monkeys.

  5. She needs to put down the bible and read the dictionary for a bit.
    If only for proper spelling.

  6. Let me simplify that email :

    FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU. GOD IS LOVE!

  7. For more fun, read this entire thing in one breathe and exactly as it is written (I.E., do not assume ‘ppl’ means people but really is whatever sound those consonants would make).

    This quickly transforms from a crazy person rambling on incoherently to…a crazy person rambling on incoherently…

    At least doing it this way explains the period before the final sentence. Had she not used it she would have passed out from lack of breathe.

  8. Ass ppl like her who are bad spellerz hold gud spellerz back in grown in there spellin cuz four a minute i thawt she spellt tongue right

  9. You gotta luv these people, the amazing irateness they can conjure up can only be eclipsed by their innate stupidity. What I once thought of as illiteracy can now be chalked up to laziness, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that people sacrifice grammar to speed, yet it never fails to amaze me how stupid people can sound when all is ‘said’ and done. 😛

    YOU WILL BURN IN HELL, FOUL HEATHEN! Lmao, like that’s gonna change our stance on religion… the big bad ‘bogeyman’ of the church. Keep on keepin’ on, GG. ;}

    non est deus

  10. Wow, she may want to crack open a dictionary instead of a bible once in a while.

  11. That run-on sentence she wrote is epic! xD

  12. I find it funny she wasn’t actually speaking.

    Does god need to forgive for typing too? Or since the stupid old books were written before the time of computers and e-mail, is anything on a keyboard automatically excused?

  13. I find it interesting that some of the most passionate posts come from the most ignorant people.

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