Comedian Steve Martin grabbed the mic at the New Orleans Jazz Fest on April 29, 2010. Together with The Steep Canyon Rangers, he shared what he called “the entire atheist hymnal” (on one page of paper). Hilarious!
Atheists Don’t Have No Songs (AKA The Atheist Hymnal)
Christians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews,
Baptists have the rock of ages,
Atheists just sing the blues.
Romantics play Claire de Lune,
Born agains sing “He is risen,”
But no one ever wrote a tune,
For godless existentialism.
For Atheists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.
Some folks sing a Bach cantata,
Lutherans get Christmas trees,
Atheist songs add up to nada,
But they do have Sundays free.
Pentecostals sing to heaven,
Coptics have the books of scrolls,
Numerologists can count to seven,
Atheists have rock and roll.
For Atheists there’s no good news. They’ll never sing a song of faith.
In their songs they have a rule: the “he” is always lowercase.
The “he” is always lowercase.
Atheists don’t have no songs.
Christians have their hymns and pages,
Hava Nagila’s for the Jews,
Baptists have the rock of ages,
Atheists just sing the blues.
Catholics dress up for Mass,
And listen to, Gregorian chants.
Atheists just take a pass, Watch football in their underpants.
Watch football in their underpants.
Atheists don’t have no songs.
Performed live on April 29, 2010 by Steve Martin and The Steep Canyon Rangers
UPDATE: Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers also performed this on March 13, 2011 live on Letterman!
Loading ...
Well, atheists do have a few songs. “Why Don’t Bees Go to Heaven” is a charming little ditty, for instance. The symphonic band Epica has recorded several atheist songs, and there will always be a soft spot in my heart for “Jesus He Knows Me” by Genesis.
I’ve been doing some Atheist tunes.
http://laughinginpurgatory.blogspot.com/2010/09/30-days-of-blasphemy-day-6-labor-day.html
Yes. Atheists do have rock ‘n’ roll.
Extremely beneficial posting. I just bookmark your web site plus would like to say that I have really appreciated while reading your posts. Thank you for spreading the knowledge with all.
Does anyone remember Monty Python’s “All Things Dull and Ugly,” a parody of the sweet little children’s hymn sung in English chapels each school morning? (“All Things Bright and Beaufiful”)
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.
Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.
All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.
Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid–
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!
All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.
Amen.
This is worth listening to with its innocent children’s voices to add to the satire, and is really far more clever theologically than the Steve Martin bit. Better rhyming and rhyme scheme, too.
Funny, but a I think that Atheists have a great hymn: Imagine, by John Lennon.
He also sang “imagine no possessions” but as we all know, he didn’t personally subscribe to that one either.
I always liked “They Ain’t Makin’ Jews Like Jesus Anymore” by Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.
haha that’s a new one to me, but I’ll listen to it because of the title alone!
My Methodist Church played the video during services yesterday.
It was ‘music’ Sunday, and the theme was…uh, music… string theory, vibration, sound, and how we might say God used the “Word” – sound – to create matter.
A bit over my head of course, but that’s God for you – a bit smarter than I am.
Of course atheists have hymns – I thought of the ‘Internationale’.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Internationale
Most everyone knows the power of and loves music.
I wonder if the materialist and atheist communists who sang the Internationale ever gave thought to exactly what insubstantial, non-quantifiable, and non-material ‘part’ of them it was that was ‘inspired’ and moved by their hymn.
I’ll field that one-its not insubstantial, its an arrangement of neurons! There you go. You can ditch the safety blanket and play grown up with the rest of us!
there you go..typical smug remark,like you know what an arrangement of neurons actually means.. ha ha.. more like derangement of morons