June 9th, 2010
Trees are so hot. I just want to hump one right now. Like this guy!
Or maybe… not.
This facebook conversation could have been stolen from one of many a debates I had with other Christians when I was in college. We discussed the topic of masturbation more than anyone should. As you may know, the question “how far is too far?” is more than popular with those battling raging hormones.
A consensus on whether masturbation was sinful or permissible was hard to come by; but in the end, a middle ground was reached that still let people pleasure themselves, but gave it a nice “sinless” protective barrier. So long as you did not lust and go against what Jesus taught in Matthew 5:27-28 [show] "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (ESV)
, you were not sinning. However, if you fantasized or involved anyone else in the act, you were a dirty sexual deviant.
The idea that someone could masturbate without shame or sin is extremely popular with the young adult crowd. Christianity is calling you a nasty sinner if your hands explore your golden chalice/divining rod/pick your own name–even as your natural (supposedly created by god) body is telling you yes, yes YES! So how do you escape the thought police and still have that tremendous, shuddering release? Think about trees; imagine taking a Chemistry final; recite something you’ve memorized… and my personal favorite: pray!
Yes, I was actually told that if I prayed while I played, that god would keep me from sinning.
It didn’t help. In fact, that seems pretty fucked up to me.
Hey Christians, if any of you read this, here’s a tip: If you want a healthy sex life in your future, don’t teach yourself early on that what comes naturally to you is shameful or dirty. Masturbation is just fine! And the mind is the most powerful sex organ you have. Don’t stifle it! And for goodness sake, don’t pray while you masturbate.
Jesus, christianity, facebook, funny, relationships, religion | 
7 Comments »
June 4th, 2010
I’ve not been posting as much as experts say you should in order to keep readers coming to your blog. Here’s what I have to say about those experts:
Sod off, wankers.
And to my remaining readers:
Don’t sod off, ok?
In other news, I was called a “Harry Potter idol worshiper” on my tumblr yesterday. Let me say this: if Jesus’ story was written by J.K. Rowling, I might like him a little better, okay? And Jesus’ scars aren’t lightning bolt shaped. Case closed.
god, randomness, the website | 5 Comments »
May 25th, 2010
The very Best of the Internet happened just 5 days ago on MetaFilter. A user named “fake” posts a thread asking for help for two girls from Russia:
A Russian friend of mine may be in a dangerous situation in Washington, DC.
My friend and former student K arrived in DC yesterday, along with a friend. She came over on some kind of travel exchange program put together by a Russian travel agency called ‘XXXXX’. They paid about 3K for this program.
The program promised a job offer in advance, but didn’t deliver. They said they would send one via email, but failed there, too.
Her contact in the USA barely speaks English, doesn’t answer her calls but does answer mine. He has asked her and her friend to meet in NYC tonight around midnight, with promises of hostess work in a lounge. Yes, I know how horrific that sounds- that’s why I am working all possible angles here.
A dramatic story of what could have become sex trafficking plays out in a single internet thread. It’s an adventure to read, and I won’t spoil it for you. I just have to say: This is what the internet can do.This is what people can do.
Check out the exciting MetaFilter thread and its counterpart MetaTalk discussion which has more story details and resources for how to help. The Newsweek Blog also spoke to one of the key players.
randomness | 6 Comments »
May 21st, 2010
photo by Photo Giddy
Did a man ever exist whose name was Yeshua son of Yosef and Miriam, whose professions were carpenter/stoneworker and rabbi, and who was put to death by crucifixion? Was he the messiah? Was he made up by his followers? Was he just a normal bloke who taught unconventional ideas who ended up on the wrong side of the law?
What do you think? I’ve embedded the poll here and in the sidebar. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Soooo correction two days late (sorry, I’ve been busy with a wedding): The embedded poll was shit, so let’s just vote in the sidebar 
Hopefully that still works. Thanks!
Jesus, christianity, history, questions, the bible | 14 Comments »
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