Have you ever heard these statements from Christians before? I sure have. In fact, I’ve even said them before. I felt much like this young poet:

I think he communicates some admirable views on the role of people in society:

• love others
• be accepting
• don’t be a hypocrite
• forgive
• feed the poor
• support and help those in pain
• be genuine and live out your convictions
• don’t be a sheep

And some opinions about religion I also support:

• religion is a man-made societal infection
• religion enslaves
• religion causes wars
• religion makes followers blind and intolerant

Despite all of this, I disagree with his claim that Jesus is not connected to religion at all. In fact, he even says Christianity and religion are totally separate from one another. Oh really, now? Christianity isn’t a man-made invention? The only writings about Jesus weren’t written by a bunch of anonymous men who wanted to convert followers to their belief system? Jesus wasn’t a Jewish Rabbi who was Torah-observant all his life? The belief that we’re sinners who need supernatural salvation isn’t religious?

I think it’s popular to claim Jesus wasn’t a religious man or that a “true follower of Jesus” is better than a “religious person” because it makes Christianity seem more hip, liberal, and casual than the actual theology and doctrines of the religion truly are. How do you gain followers among  doubtful and skeptical youth? You make your product cool; you make it edgy; you rebel just enough against “the system” to show you don’t like authority while still staying within the lines of the “sinner needing salvation” requirement.

Dear cool Christian Christ-follower: You can’t follow Jesus without religion. The only reason you even know about Jesus is because his followers created his legend within the framework of religion. Go ahead, leave the shitty parts of your religion in the dust; for that I applaud you. Love others, be genuine, and hate hypocrisy all you want. Just don’t think you can redefine something just to make it less disgusting and objectionable. Your love of this hippie Jesus guy and dislike for empty ritual doesn’t mean his teachings are any more true or reasonable from your mouth than they are when it’s preached within the four walls of a cathedral. You can’t whitewash Christianity and ignore the reality.

Here’s a tip: try being a humanist. You’ll fit right in!

How should non-Christians respond? Why, using our wits of course! Just like any enterprising non-believer who looks forward to the Christian Rapture, here’s a guy with the right idea:

Click to see full-size

Oh, and if any of you Christians have pets: All dogs do not go to Heaven. We can tale care of them too them too.

It’s being replaced–this time of a 51-foot walking Jesus with his arms stretched out in a welcoming gesture.It will be called “Come Unto Me.” Welcoming or not, I want to name this thing Zombie Jesus. He wants your brains and he’s coming for you!

An artist's rendering, released in Nov. 2010, of the new Jesus statue that will be built at Solid Rock Church in Monroe to replace the one destroyed by fire in June last year. (Cincinnati.com)

This time around, non-flammable materials will be used in construction and a lightning suppression system will be built in to prevent a repeat of the June 2010 blaze that reduced the first structure – a waist up replica of Jesus with arms raised high – to pieces of charred steel.

Good idea.

Something tells me most Christians would laugh at this theology, and not just us atheists.

(via hatefulatheist)

Jesus texted the King James Bible? Wow, those are some powerful thumbs. I wonder if God uses autocorrect. I guess he didn’t care how much it would cost me to read it all. Verizon really over-charges, even for deities. It also reminds me of this guy:

By the way, if Jesus created deep dish pizza, couldn’t he have made it more healthy? It goes straight to my fat ass.

John W. Loftus, author of one of my favorite blogs, Debunking Christianity, and the book Why I Became an Atheist, has edited a collection of articles critiquing the claims of Christianity. The Christian Delusion: Why Faith Fails is shooting to the top of my to-read list!

Non-fiction—especially concerning subjects about which I am passionate—makes me yearn for an Amazon Kindle or similar device with which I could make highlights and notes about certain passages to remember for later. I revere printed  books too much to write all over them; I even hate writing in pretty journals because I don’t want to sully them with my chicken scratch handwriting. A book about atheism, science, and faith is certainly going to stir up many ideas, and I would love to store those light bulbs of inspiration somewhere. Ah well; it’s on my wishlist

for shitsn’giggles, here’s a not-so-intellectual book I also grabbed off the Free Shelf that’s sure to make you chuckle.

What books are you reading right now that I should add to my list?

Ripley's Believe It Or Not!

This makes me even more proud to be from Michigan.

Read more about her domestic art quest here.

rAmen!

(hat tip Trace)

comic by Ken Fager

After my family stopped attending Catholic mass regularly and started frequenting a Presbyterian church, I discovered the absolute delight of “Communion Sundays,” which were only once a month. I loved the tiny little plastic cups passed around in fitted brass plates. After sipping up the grape juice, I would do the classy and mature thing by sticking my tongue into the cup to get every last drop from the bottom. I’d suction it onto my tongue, waggle it around, and make silly faces at my friends until an adult noticed and I had to busy myself with the bulletin or something.

My favorite part of Communion Sunday was the bread. I loved that bread. I sometimes called it “3-D Jesus” because it was in a small cubed form instead of the flat, bland wafers we used to dissolve on our tongues at mass. No crackers or matzo here, just soft cubes of a dead guy.

The best thing about this bread was its taste: it was sweet like buttered honey and it fairly melted into your teeth like a soft candy. Jesus tasted damn good. I once tried to take more bread from the passing plate, but I felt ashamed that someone might see, so I contented myself with just one tiny square of Jesus.

Now that it’s not even symbolically holy and I still remember the scrumptious taste of that bread on my tongue, I very much want to eat it again—but in mach larger quantities. Did they buy it or bake it? Is this a common communion food among protestant churches? I’ve googled “sweet communion bread recipe” and not come up with anything particularly enticing.

If you’re out there, Jesusbread baker, can you give me your recipe? I want some with a little honey on top. Like, now. I’m starving.

“I Quit”

But twelve years later, the tide has turned once again. Rice recently spread this news  via her facebook page:

Today I quit being a Christian. I’m out. I remain committed to Christ as always but not to being “Christian” or to being part of Christianity. It’s simply impossible for me to “belong” to this quarrelsome, hostile, disputatious, and deservedly infamous group. For ten …years, I’ve tried. I’ve failed. I’m an outsider. My conscience will allow nothing else.

As I said below, I quit being a Christian. I’m out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of …Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen.

–Anne Rice, author 2010

You can imagine all the  atheists eating this for lunch, can’t you? Can’t you smell the delight over  someone famous  leaving Christianity? Everyone likes having a public figure on their team. Free endorsements!

However…

Not Good Enough

Good for Rice that she finally recognized the mess of this religion. I understand not wanting to identify with much of Christianity—especially the fundamentalist branches that make a business out of being anti-everyone–but that’s not good enough!

Rice is clearly not abandoning her mythology and superstitious delusions. She’s leaving conservative, fundamentalist  Christianity behind and making a political stand out of it. But what about liberal Christianity that is still based on the same myths, but is dressed up in hipster clothing and a laissez faire attitude? When Rice realizes the whole shit n’ caboodle is based on a false premise, then perhaps she might leave for good.  Perhaps.

What do you think?

(hat tip goodreasonnews)