Hey baby, what’s your sign? You don’t know anymore, do you?
Woo-woo lovers everywhere are going apeshit because the astrological calendar has added a 13th sign, Ophiuchus (try to get a sexy tattoo of that on your ass, ladies). This addition shifts the dates for all the other signs:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Take me for example. I used to be a Pisces, which means that I was (supposedly) intuitive, dreamy, artistic, humane, sympathetic, sensitive, compassionate, perceptive, tender, and impressionable.
Here’s the NEW me: Aquarius! I’m (supposedly) individualistic, assertive, independent, humanitarian, inventive, original, eccentric, opinionated, intellectual, idealistic, cool, friendly, and detached. How can you be both friendly and detached? I have no idea, but apparently that’s who I am. The stars told me so!
Hey, maybe it is true! According to my profiles, as a Pisces I was “spiritual” but now I’m an “intellectual” and “logical” Aquarius! 
I find this stuff to be both interesting and ridiculous. I admit I love knowing more about myself and analyzing my traits and personality. Does that mean I take astrology seriously? Shit no. The stars can’t tell me who I am more than a cold reading by any psychic.
But damn, I love seeing people freak out that their Zodiac tattoos are now incorrect. Are you passionate or intelligent now? Are you compatible with an Aries or not? The internet is filling up with cries of OMGAHH, HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT SOMEONE TELLING ME WHAT MY PERSONALITY IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
I get the feeling that the dewoosional are just empty shells waiting for someone else to fill them with fluff. Fill your own shell … with cheese or maybe a personality or an original thought!
This Aquarius is going to go listen to some music to celebrate my new personality.
Dealing with dimwitted debate? I decided to make something that might come in handy.
What are logical fallacies?
Here are a few helpful resources for improving your (and my!) writing.
The straw man fallacy is when you misrepresent someone else’s position so that it can be attacked more easily, knock down that misrepresented position, then conclude that the original position has been demolished. It’s a fallacy because it fails to deal with the actual arguments that have been made.
“To be an atheist, you have to believe with absolute certainty that there is no God. In order to convince yourself with absolute certainty, you must examine all the Universe and all the places where God could possibly be. Since you obviously haven’t, your position is indefensible.”
The above straw man argument appears at about once a week on the net. If you can’t see what’s wrong with it, read the “Introduction to Atheism” document.
—”Atheism: Logic & Fallacies,” Infidels.org
Also because, as stated above, there is a tendency to start with desired conclusions and then construct arguments to support them, many people will happily draw upon logical fallacies to make their arguments. In fact, if a conclusion is not true one must either employ a false premise or a logical fallacy in order to construct an argument that leads to that conclusion. Remember, a sound argument (one with true premises and valid logic) cannot lead to a false conclusion. So in order to avoid using logical fallacies to construct invalid arguments, we need to understand how to identify fallacious logic.
—”How to Argue,” Steven Novella, MD
It is particularly easy to slip up and commit a fallacy when you have strong feelings about your topic—if a conclusion seems obvious to you, you’re more likely to just assume that it is true and to be careless with your evidence.
—UNC “Fallacies” handout
It snowed quite a bit yesterday. A nice, fluffy sheet a few inches thick rested undisturbed on my car all day (hoorah for time off work to sit at home like a bump on a log!). I had heard a bit of rumble about the lunar eclipse, and since I was up in the middle of the night, I thought I’d go take a peek. Alas, the sky revealed nothing but solid gray, and no stars nor any moon was visible at all.
Not to be disappointed by weather, I decided to embrace an idea that sprang on me like a gazelle in heat (I hope they do that in real life). What if I wrote a little message on my windows to see what would happen? Many folks write phrases like “Jesus!” and “Wash me!” all over their cars. But what about something a bit more heathen?
4am is as good a time as any to spread the godless news!
Voilà! Happy with my snow art, I went back inside to bed.
Twelve hours later I decide to surface once again to take out the trash and see what happened to my car.
Ta-dah! Free window cleaning!
Lo and behold, it appears that some kind person had brushed off the snow for me! What a sweetie. I’m starting to think this might be an easy way to scrape my car every morning. I could just get some offended passerby to clean it for free! Ah, godless genius.
Editor’s Note:
It has been suggested that natural causes, and not an intelligent agent, were at fault for my clean car the next day.
I don’t know who you intellectual elitists think you are, but I’m sure you’re just in denial that an Intelligent Scraper exists. Clearly he/she could be the only cause for this result. One day it was snowy, and the next day it was clean. Obviously we have a powerful, purposeful individual behind this. There can be no other explanation than the Intelligent Scraper!
photo by See-ming Lee
Is church too touchy-feely for you? Are there too many songs? Are the talks too long and too boring? Do you need a donut break from all those women? How about a church service just for men?
What is Man Church? Man Church is church the way a man expects it to be done. No singing, short sermon, time to talk with other guys, no women present, and coffee and donuts. That’s the way men want to do church. The topics of discussion will have a definite manly focus – being the best possible husband, father, employee, leader – being a real man. In fact, every aspect of Man Church is geared for men – not like any other church you have seen. This ain’t your mama’s church!
These apes guys apparently can’t handle creative expression, women, music, or big words. If I were male, I’d be insulted that my church leadership thinks I am an emotionless, simple-minded grunt who doesn’t crave depth of study and a song once in a while. This sounds fast food instead of a full course meal.
Notice how all of the selling points for “Man Church” exclude anything that appears remotely homosexual. No surprise, coming from a Christian church, but it still blatantly ignores men who don’t fit into this grunting, emotionless, impatient mold. Machismo is one of my hot-button issues, and “Man Church” really grinds my nerves.
I think we need to watch a little Tim Allen to understand these “manly men”:
Home Improvement never gets old to me .
Olin Thang on 
Cortez Frisch on 
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