photo by Miikka Skaffari

Hey y’all! It’s time for something completely different! I found a little quiz to see how you pronounce certain words and to see if you have any regionally-specific vocabulary for certain items. I also did my own little voice recording so you can laugh at my accent:

Listen to me explain the challenge and answer the questions.

Words to pronounce:

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

Questions to answer:

• What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
• What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
• What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
• What do you call gym shoes?
• What do you say to address a group of people?
• What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
• What do you call your grandparents?
• What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
• What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
• What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Record Your Voice

It’s free over at vocaroo.com. All you need is a microphone. You can share your voice by pressing “Post on the internet” and copying the “vocaroo link.”

If you want to blog your version of the challenge, leave a comment with a link so I can listen! If you don’t have a blog, just record your voice and paste the link in the comments box.

photo by Dietmar Temps

According to Urlai—a web tool that analyzes writing samples from your site to determine your style—GodlessGirl.com has been judged on the following classifiers:

• Gender
• Age
• Mood
• Tonality

So how did I measure up?

Text analysis

Godlessgirl.com is probably written by a male somewhere between 66-100 years old. The writing style is personal and happy most of the time.

Despite my sarcasm, cuss words, and vagina, this is what the internet thinks of me? Hilarious. I love it. I am an old man who speaks personally and is generally happy. Hoorah for me!

Now what to do with these boobs…

'Breast Cancer Awareness Month' by Zack Jones

I like it on a hook.

If you’ve been on facebook lately and seen ladies post status messages like “I like it on the floor” or, “I like it on the chair,” they aren’t talking about sex (and aren’t you glad my “hook” wasn’t about doing the nasty?). The statement describes where you keep your purse, but the purpose is to raise awareness about breast cancer during National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Yeah, I rolled my eyes too. I’m not a fan. But why would a woman dislike a viral campaign that promotes a good message? In short:

1. How is a suggestive statement about where you place your purse supposed to raise awareness about a deadly disease? I don’t think it does—even if people are buzzing about it.
2. One in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetimes. How will this meme do anything to influence what steps women take to protect themselves from further risk?
3. My father died from breast cancer. Men get it too, even though it much more rare. All the pink, purses, and focus on women doesn’t help my own grief. It may be selfish, but it’s honest. Don’t forget the men.

Original photo by Lady Vic on flickr

30+ Ideas and Writing Prompts

1. Many people say the most influential persons in their lives are their parents. That’s just too predictable. What unexpected individual has had a significant affect on how your life is headed today?
2. What have you missed out on because of fear? What different sorts of activities or experiences have you chosen not to do? Does fear play a part in your decision-making?
3. Do you consider yourself to be sexually confident? Do you think you have a healthy outlook and perspective on what sex is for and what it means on a deeper level? What is that?
4. What’s the story of your website? How would you feel if it was deleted tomorrow?
5. What was the biggest lie you ever told? Did anyone find out? Did you benefit from it?
6. Have you ever acted in a way that went against your values/morals/ethics? In other words, have you been a hypocrite?
7. When was the last time you inspired someone? Feel free to toot your horn
8. When was the last time you were truly enraged? What caused that reaction, and was it deserved?
9. Do you have any addictions or obsessions? Maybe you’re a fangirl or an obsessive shopper?
10. What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to overcome?
11. Picture the worst sexual experience you ever had… now either tell us about it or tell us if it was bad because of inexperience, awkwardness, or a dislike for that individual.
12. If you’ve converted from one religion to another (or left religion all together), was there  a “honeymoon” phase after making that decision? How did you feel for the next few months? Has that feeling changed?
13. What traits would someone have who was the opposite of you?
14. How would you feel if you lived single for the rest of your life?
15. If you could do something without anyone knowing what you did, what would you choose and why?
16. Which has had more impact on your life: your situation/environment or your choices? Why do you think so?
17. Start a blog entry with “I wish I could see…”
18. What are the top 5 causes your support and why?
19. List some things your parents taught you that you’re trying to unlearn.
20. Do you think dark periods of life provide the best opportunities to learn? Why or why not?
21. Describe some of the things that make you odd or quirky
22. List the top 3 reasons you make a great friend. What about 3 reasons you’re a poor friend?
23. What trip have you taken that changed your outlook on the world? What did you see?
24. How does your belief system impact the people around you?
25. Are you more of a giver or a taker? What does that mean to you? Is one of them always positive or negative?
26. What “10 Commandments” do you follow in your life?
27. When someone else cries, what do you do? Are you a problem-solver? Do you cry with them? Do you tell them to suck it up?
28. Which fundamental aspects of your personality have remained unchanged since you were a child?
29. What is your main goal at this moment? What is the consequence if you do not achieve it?
30. Are you afraid of being personal on the internet? What are the consequences for, say, answering these questions in public?
31. How would you define a life lived well?
32. How do you feel about receiving a gift of charity or aid from someone else? Has this ever happened to you?
33. How many phobias do you have? What do you fear most? Anything atypical?

Go check out my experiment, The Honesty Project, and come up with your own honest ideas to share.

This is my challenge!

Original photo by Lady Vic (flickr.com)

Are you a blogger or journaler? Do you have a youtube channel? Do you have twitter or facebook? It doesn’t matter if you’re an atheist, republican, Canadian, teenager, stay-at-home mom, food blogger, cartoonist, scientist, or anything at all. There are no restrictions on who can participate.

Here’s What to Do

1. Write, blog, plurk, tweet, or record one honest moment or thought each day for one week starting whenever you want.
2. Be honest and take your time. Say something you may not have said to your audience before. It has to be about you, and it will hopefully be a bit more revealing of who you are than a statement like “I hate Chinese food.” Work with me here! If you’ve had writer’s block like I have, this could help you jump out of it. Use it as a springboard to talk about anything you like!
3. When you start the challenge, leave your link below so we can all read it/watch it/fap to it.
4. I’d appreciate it if you’d spread the word around so others could take part. You can link to this post and use the image above if you like! Tweet it, share it on facebook, or just keep it simple—your choice!
5. There is no closing date, so come back and do it agin anytime!

1. My uncle once: held me upside down by my ankles and I never fully recovered.
2. Never in my life: have I awakened early for the fun of it.
3. When I was five: I was the most self-conscious child on the block.
4. High School was: under-utilized for all its opportunities for shenanigans.
5. I will never forget: to never use the word never—just in case.
6. I once met: some famous people, but I have an aversion to people who name-drop.
7. There’s this girl I know who: is much smarter than me, but I don’t want her to figure that out while she still admires me.
8. Once, at a bar: The waiter gave all the girls free drinks except me.
9. By noon, I’m usually: just feeling good and awake…and starving.
10. Last night: I took a shower at 3AM because I couldn’t get back to sleep.
11. If only I had: A teleporter and some private income.
12. Next time I go to church: I hope I can sneak in a video camera.
13. Terry Schiavo: is someone I honestly ignored while she was in the news.
14. What worries me most: is usually not important enough to worry over at all.
15. When I turn my head left, I see: a cluttered shelf and an empty, white wall.
16. When I turn my head right, I see: Clothes that need to be cleaned and a bed that needs a body in it.
17. You know I’m lying when: I can’t look you in the eye and I sputter over my story.
18. What I miss most about the eighties: are the toys and videos!
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be: The girl who’s loved by the male lead first before he discovers some other chick is his one, true love. … Or the skanky ladies’ maid who puts out for some random soldier and gets everyone in trouble. Bonus points if you can name the ladies I’m thinking of!
20. By this time next year: I hope my boyfriend and I will have a solid action plan for moving closer together.
21. A better name for me would be: My real name, but you’re not going to get that unless we meet!
22. I have a hard time understanding: why old fashion trends come back in style two decades later.
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: probably go to totally change careers.
24. You know I like you if: I joke around with you and keep the conversation going.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be: The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Awesome, great but not my favorite, whotheheck? & I’m not even using wikipedia for her.
27. Take my advice, never: assume you’ve got all the answers.
28. My ideal breakfast is: eggs, bacon, ham, french toast, sausage, orange juice, milk, and anythign else yummy you can fit on the plate.
29. A song I love, but do not own is: The Tabbouleh Song by GoRemy.
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: watching live college sports such as Michigan football and hockey. Or go to the Art Fair or Top of the Park summer festival. Or just hang out downtown. You’ll be a convert in two shakes.
31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips, & track stars: illegal to pick in a city I used to live in, “too beautiful” does not count, would make good tattoos, & they run too much.
32. Why won’t people: take a minute (or sixty) to be thankful and content about their entire life situation.
33.If you spend the night at my house: My roommate might subject you to reruns of Saturday Night Live or Dr. Who, but you’ll get a free dinner.
34. I’d stop my wedding for: an emergency or a hasty escape if an episode of COPS was being played out in the near vacinity.
35. The world could do without: greed , fear, and large insects.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: swim in the water in front of a huge ship.
37. My favorite blonde is: all natural (keep it real, ladies!).
38: Paper clips are more useful than: The entire book of Revelation and all the literature and film pertaining to it.
39. If I do anything well, it’s: being lazy.
40. And by the way: Don’t go another day without telling them you love them and why.

1. If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs (2007)
2. Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Power: How to Increase the other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts (1985)
3. The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003)
4. The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (2006)
5. How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art (1989)
6. The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution (1979)
7. Reusing Old Graves: A Report on Popular British Attitudes (1995)
8. Highlights in the History of Concrete (1994)
9. The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History, and Its Role in the World Today (1984)
10. People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It (2005)
11. The Joy of Chickens (1980)
12. Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality (1986)
13. [and my personal favorite since I would actually want to read it] How to Avoid Huge Ships (1992)

I even have a bonus list of titles that were also submitted for this contest. Aren’t you lucky?

1. A God or a Bench (I’d take the bench)
2. The Industrial Vagina (It means business!)
3. How to Write a How to Write Book (For dummies, obviously)
4. Are Women Human? and Other International Dialogues (All those who say “no” please step up to be spanked by the industrial vagina)
5. Introduction to Adult Swallowing (As long as there isn’t a youth version)
6. The Voodoo Revenge Book: An Anger Management Program You Can Really Stick With (That’s some sharp humor you’ve got there)
7. Lightweight Sandwich Construction (No need for a book, I’m already the mistress of this practice)
8. Whose Bottom? A Lift-the-Flap Book (This has got to be the same person who wrote Everybody Poops)
9. God’s Chewable Vitamin C for the Spirit (Like Flinstones vitamins? “Yabba dabba dooo! I’m speaking in tongues!”)
10. The Romance of Leprosy (Just what every girl wants!)
11. Waterproofing Your Child (Please don’t let this say “wrap tightly in plastic”)
12. Excrement in the Late Middle Ages: Sacred Filth and Chaucer’s Fecopoetics (I’m going to try and use “fecopoetics” in a sentence today)
13. 227 Secrets Your Snake Wants You to Know (Secret 167: Do you really think of me as the devil?)

(source)

1. 2001: A Space Odyssey – I may have been introduced to this flick too early, but if I wanted to jump out the window to avoid boredom at 13, I am not quite sure my reaction would be much better 13 years later.
2. Mission to Mars – Thankfully, I saw this terrible movie on my first official date with a new boyfriend. It gave me lots of time to snog.
3. The Black Dahlia – Dark, frustrating, and not the least bit as interesting as the case it chronicles.
4. Extreme Days – The best part of this Christian extreme sports movie is an entire scene of lighting farts on fire.
5. Borat – Apparently my humor has limits.
6. Showgirls – But who doesn’t? I mean, just watch  the pool sex scene (actually, don’t). I nearly peed my pants laughing!
7. Left Behind: the Movie – This could actually fit into the “awesomely bad” category of films I’d watch with RiffTrax commentary, but I start to claw my eyes out about 15 minutes in.
8. Life As a House – Truthfully, it isn’t that bad. I just hate it because of how much crying I did balled up on the floor before it even reached the third act.
9. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – I want to make a cut of this movie without all the special effects and see the sludge that oozes out from my iMac.
10. Sideways – Maybe if I was drunk I would have enjoyed this midlife crisis on film. Mostly I was just bored to tears.
11. Meet the Parents – Being embarrassed for someone else is something I try to avoid completely. This was two straight hours of torturous empathy. The sequel was bearable.
12. Dirty Dancing – Rest in Peace, Patrick Swayze, but I’ll put baby in a corner… of a dark cellar never to be seen again.
13. What About Bob – Yet another example of having too much empathy (for the psychiatrist!). I spent years loathing Bill Murray until I finally got over myself and saw Lost in Translation. It almost helped.

(hint: check out the links to see IMDB links, trailers, and clips)

What movies do you hate? Leave a comment and let us know. If you’ve participated in TT this week, enter the post’s permalink in the form below and I promise to check it out!

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