Mass Hysteria

It was a Wednesday night and I was on the ground, rolling and gasping for air, laughter coming in wave after wave, cramping all my muscles and pushing tears out of the corners of my eyes. I was lost to the world, convulsing in heavy, wheezing laughs. But I hadn’t Read more…


I’m a Freshman

[caption id="attachment_504" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Photo by Campin Guy"]Photo by Campin Guy[/caption] When you reach eighth grade, you're at the top of your game: You have an amusing case of senioritis that provides an abundance of confidence and slackitude (yes, that is a word today). Compared to your 7th and 6th grade peons, you're mature, smart, attractive, and "have it all together". While they're still in training bras or hoping a chin hair will suddenly appear, you're at the top of the food chain, dolling out advice and wisdom to whatever child will take it. You've found your niche. You finally feel like you have a voice. Eighth grade was one of the best school years of my life. I loved it. And then you become a freshman. Suddenly you're thrust into an unfamiliar environment with people bigger than you who know more about absolutely everything. You can't even find your way to the water fountain, much less lead a clique or have control over your life. Books are heavier, assignments are longer, and you are suddenly taught something called "critical thinking" (well, in some schools, anyway). Not everyone is like you anymore, and you feel lost, intimidated, and insecure. You have a lot of growing to do. I remember hating my high school for months before I finally accepted the transition into the new environment. For me, leaving Christianity was a lot like graduating from eighth grade to high school. (more…)

my past

Tweeps Speak: Open Relationships

Adapted from airgap on flickr For one year I was romantically entangled with a polyamorous man. He explained that he and his partner had agreed to have an open relationship where each person could love and enjoy other people sexually as long as they always stayed completely honest, practiced safe sex, took care of all each other's emotional, physical, and practical needs first, and felt secure together--not jealous or afraid of losing one another. There was an underlying commitment that went along with their willingness to "spread the love" and explore other sexual avenues. I soon learned that he and his partner were quite the normal couple with problems, insecurities, and hard work. Our experience ended up showing me that I was not inclined to take part in a polyamorous relationship, especially as "the other woman". I was too selfish, insecure, and I treasured exclusivity too much to be prepared for that type of experience. I did not feel secure, trusting, nor loved. Perhaps this was his fault; perhaps it was the situation. Maybe it was me! And although it did not work out, the relationship caused me to wonder: If we're perfectly healthy emotionally and mentally, are we more inclined to be monogamous or to have multiple love partners? Does it depend on the individual? What is the reason for jealousy and the desire for security? What makes us cheat? Could having an open relationship help a couple? Or does it harm them in the long run? Is it only about sex?

Survey says..!

I recently polled my Twitter pals about the titillating topic of open relationships. Keep in mind that most of my tweeps are non-religious folks from all walks of life. If you'd like to respond, please comment! I'm fascinated by the variety of opinions and research on this topic. Let's see what they had to say using 140 characters! I'm keeping things anonymous to conserve their privacy.

Part A: "What do you think about open relationships?"

They're ok, if you can handle that sort of thing. don't think I could though.
I think whatever people can make work for them relationship-wise is fine by me, I've seen open relationships work out fine. [cont.] I think in a way Open Relat. may be easier, as there r far less boundaries 2 worry about crossing, no fear of being cheated on.
Not for me. [x2]
Whatever works for two (or three, or four...) consenting adults is none of my business whatsoever!
I like them! :) I think they're much more realistic than what you're told to expect, relationship-wise.
Not a big fan, but my ex-wife was a fan.
Read more and check out Part B on Monogamy vs. Polyamory below the cut! (more…)