Archive for ‘personal’

January 31st, 2010

Why I Am Not An Authority, Just a Woman

I am not a scientist.
I am not a scholar.
I have never been a theologian, pastor, nor an apologist… except from my armchair.

I do not enjoy reading about philosophy or logic.
I have not mastered true rational thought, and I probably couldn’t explain it to you without quoting someone else.
I still don’t know where I stand on a lot of issues, and I am often a poor representative of any position.

I am a normal mid-twenties woman with a job, internet addiction, and flabby thighs.
I read more fiction than non-fiction, love random factoids, and I only follow the news I find most interesting.
I like to make dirty jokes and curse like a sailor.
I’m overly curious, not afraid of emotion, personal, and very opinionated.
I adore deep conversations about experience, ideas, theology, and life.
I have a 4-year Bachelor’s degree in Communications and a minor in Creative Writing. I think this just means I like words.

I left faith because I am your normal everyday thinking chick with an itch to know herself and her place in this life. I used to be called wise and thoughtful about the bible and faith, but now I realize I was and am simply holding small bits of knowledge and insight that hang like loose strings off the coattails of the great thinkers and eloquent writers that have gone before.

I did not read every book I could get my hands on before deconverting. I did not engage in endless debates or request pastoral counseling. I will not pretend that I couldn’t have done more to save my faith. Perhaps with enough devotion and desperation anyone can shut out doubt and curiosity. When I left Christianity, I watched, listened, read, and digested the right things at the right time. Because of this, the light bulb in my head didn’t just turn on; it exploded like a popped balloon. I was ready. Faith was no more.

I am not an authority. I do not blog because I believe I know something you don’t. I’m not here to bring you the latest and hottest news, gain internet stardom, or wax eloquent about the meaning of life. I blog because I like being a part of the community and conversation. I also like hearing myself talk, and that doesn’t hurt.

I am just a woman–a Godless Girl.

Categorychristianity, my past, personal, religion, skepticism and freethought | Comment6 Comments »

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January 24th, 2010

Am I An Angry Atheist?

angry face

Photo by lintmachine

Because my dear mother is worried. She came to me tonight expressing a desire to talk about “the elephant in the room” which is, apparently, my atheism. In a very polite manner, she expressed her concern:

Ever since I came out to her in October, she has been reading more godless blogs (perhaps mine… rut roh!) and experiencing the snarky, jabbing, “haughty ridicule” (as she called it) that sometimes accompanies heathen venting sessions and social commentary.  I freely acknowledge that some atheists are bitchy, chip-on-the-shoulder finger-pointers.

What worries her is that I might become like the people described above: sour in attitude, uncharitable in speech, and antagonistic in practice.

Should she be worried? Yes. I have to admit I am almost all of the above things at one time or another towards Christianity or woo in general. I consider myself an anti-theist and have no issues mocking certain ideas that are, in fact, ridiculous. Sometimes I make fun of other people because of their behavior, silly superstitions, or unbelievably ignorant beliefs.

I’m sorry Mother; I may be what you dislike… at least in part.

Even so, I want to make clear to the people of faith reading this blog that I empathize with you a great deal. I spent my entire life surrounded by the best kinds of Christians (with a few crazies thrown in). I know what it’s like to yearn after Jesus, follow the Spirit, trust in God, pray, see others come to the Lord, feel a mighty work in my life, and so forth. I know all of those things, and I honestly do understand where you’re coming from. I hope my knowledge of the Bible, theology, and the way passionate believers feel will make me a more ecumenically minded atheist (once I get past all the fun bitchitude). I hope I will soften more and stifle some of my most rude comments out of respect for people that are genuinely doing their humble best to follow what they believe and think is right and true.

But when it comes to the stubbornly ignorant, the bigoted, the anti-scientific, the hateful, the hellfire-and-brimstone theocratic blowhards… all bets are off–Godless Girl puts on the gloves.

Categorychristianity, personal, skepticism and freethought | Comment34 Comments »

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January 13th, 2010

One Year of Godlessgirl!

Photo by Sarah McGee

Godlessgirl.com has been live to the world for one whole year! Every single cliché about time passing you by, flying, or otherwise moving swiftly applies here. When I decided to create this blog, I was certain I would become some sort of internet phenom, bursting onto the blogging scene with something new and different that would charm the readers into subscribing, commenting, and loving me into online stardom.

A girl’s gotta dream, right? As I discovered after beginning Godlessgirl.com, I am only one rather unremarkable voice within a chorus of thousands. I gathered no fame, no large following, and (I am rather surprised to say) no hate mail. Am I disappointed? No. I’m thrilled to have a community around me of writers, thinkers, and friends whom I admire and enjoy. I especially want to send a shoutout to my tweathens! Thank you for being there for me and supporting my copious rants, links, updates, and musings. I may never be someone truly remarkable, but I know this blog has helped me make the startling and stuttering transition from “newborn angry closet atheist” to “more relaxed ready to come out atheist”. I’m on my way!

Thank you all for reading, commenting, and being a part of my life! Let’s continue to converse and know each other better. Please drop me a note anytime or ask me anything.

Year One Highlights

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Categorynews, personal, the website | Comment10 Comments »

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January 10th, 2010

When Sex is “Gross”

She scoffed at every kiss, every sweet show of closeness and intimacy on screen. Exclamations of disgust drooled out the corners of her mouth as if she forgot to swallow a bite of food. Sexuality was shocking, and even a hint of it was met with “Ugh, why did they have to show that?” and “It was a great scene until that happened.” I stewed in my seat, sometimes replying with simple explanations why love is beautiful and married people showing affection is wonderful and normal. She would have none of it.

I’m shocked by how sheltered and closed-off some of my friends are to the real world. Was I ever so afraid of honest, sweet intimacy that I would jeer and shy away at the most innocent hint of it in a PG-13 movie? Yes, I’m sure I was. But why? Why is healthy, loving sexuality a taboo? I can’t answer this, but it bothers me.

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Categorypersonal, relationships, society | Comment13 Comments »

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