Archive for ‘quotes’

January 9th, 2010

Of Bra Colors and Purity

What do you think about the value and benefit of keeping your thoughts clear of lust, lude images, and fantasies? Is that a value left tot he religious? Should it be?

I read a note on facebook that struck me as  rather amusing, yet at the same time naive and perhaps a bit misguided. Do you see it that way? As back-story, there is a facebook status meme floating around where you post the color of your bra in order to raise awareness about breast cancer. I think it’s silly, since we all know about breast cancer already and this won’t do anything for those with it, nor the research to end it. However, in the long run I don’t give a damn what your status message is. Apparently, though, some men don’t like it. Here’s one response:

Imagine yourself in front of a room full of every single guy you are friends with on Facebook. Imagine yourself telling each one of them what your bra color is.
Does that weird you out? Yes? Then don’t post the color of your bra in your status.

Not weirded out yet? Then consider that some of the guys reading your status are glad you posted that because it helps them imagine your boobs better. Some of them are grateful to you because you have made it easier to fantasize about you.

Are you ok with that? Then realize some of your guy friends struggle with purity & DON’T WANT to know your bra color. Even if you are comfortable announcing facts about your bra to every single guy in front of you, don’t post your bra color status in consideration of those guys whose lives will be made harder because of it.

Think I am taking a joke & making a big moral issue out of it? Sorry you feel that way. You are entitled to your opinion. I am not the only one that feels this way though. Think it is all just for fun? Ok – aren’t there other ways to have fun that don’t cause your guy friends to think of your boobs?

Sincerely,
JoeBob* & a bunch of guys

Interestingly enough, there were 19 likes and 22 comments of agreement in response to this note. What do you honestly think about this young (married, if it matters) man’s reaction? Do you laugh and mock or do you admire him for his desire for a healthy thought life? What if this man was Atheist–would that make a difference to your impression?

December 22nd, 2009

8 Funny IRC Quotes About Christianity

IRC is packed full of perfect examples of human intelligence, wit, and ridiculosity (yes, that’s a word now). Check out these golden quotes!

Nick A dot: so you dont believe in aliens?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: no
Nick A dot: so you believe that in this whole unfathamably huge universe, we’re the ONLY life?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: yep, thats the way God made it
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: and theyre not mentioned in the bible so they obviously dont exist
Nick A dot: i see… do you believe in dinosaurs?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: well yeah of course, weve found their remains!
Nick A dot: yeah, but THEYRE not mentioned in the bible
xXH0tsuMm3RfUnXx is offline

HellPopeHuey: So, didja get some real work?
Epoch: yeah, today I cleaned viruses off a pc at a baptist church… viruses obtained by SURFING PR0N
HellPopeHuey: Jesus saves… your History

<Ender_CN> I read the bible, as soon as I found out god was jesus’ father I knew it was just a cheap star wars rip off so I stopped

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December 9th, 2009

Experts Give Up on Anti-Science America

Count on the best satirical source for news, The Onion, to hit on the truth behind our culture more than any of the “serious” news organizations. Case-in-point: Nation’s Experts Give Up, an amusing lament by scientists and experts on how Americans have ignored their advice for years. They give up!

“Since you don’t seem to care about things you don’t understand, screw you. We quit” [said Dr. Simon Peavy, vice-president of the National Association of Experts].

“My final piece of expert advice,” Peavy added, “is that all of you people should just go fuck yourselves.”

According to Peavy, despite the vast amounts of scientifically proven and historically sound advice provided by the nation’s experts, the National Association of Experts could cite no instances of advice being followed in the manner they had intended.

According to FDA spokesperson Jonathan Landau, the exiting advisors will be missed, but the nation must move forward. “We, of course, are deeply saddened to lose America’s most knowledgeable individuals in every field,” Landau said. “But at the same time, it’s important to recognize that their advice, however well-informed or well-intentioned, was almost always impractical.”

Landau said he plans to fill his own vacant advisory positions with “positive-minded, people-friendly sexperts, advice columnists and astrologers” as soon as funding can be arranged.

I spotted an exchange about this article on facebook:

FB-fundyCan you get any better than that fabulous Colbert quote immediately followed by a stellar example of Christian willful ignorance? Lisa admits that she’ll sit at the bottom of the intellectual heap and ignore anyone smarter than her so long as it fits what she thinks about her imaginary skygod friend, the “Man at the Top”. Being proud of ignoring wisdom, learning, science, and intelligence is ridiculous and yet oh-so-common within Fundamentalist circles.

November 21st, 2009

Twilight Quotes That Make You Go OMGWTF

I’m subjecting myself to seeing New Moon today with my girlfriends [Edit: I was going to see it, but then I came down with some nasty virus]. I am the only non-fan among them, so I’ve been acting out by glorifying all that is horrible and hilarious about the book series. Not familiar with Twilight? Unsure if you should read it or not? Here, this should solve everything. (Spoiler alert. …I can’t believe I care about saying that.)

Now the proof that your children should not be reading these books! But perhaps you should if you love to hate things like I do. Quotes were gathered from various sources (mostly this one)–but not my brain nor my books (which I shall not admit to reading unless under extreme duress).

<3 & gay sparkles!
–GG

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 1, p.14

“My name is Stephanie Meyer and I just learned about foreshadowing in 8th grade Language Arts!”

Edward: “Besides, friends don’t let friends drive drunk.”
Bella: “Drunk?”
Edward: “You’re intoxicated by my very presence.”

Edward: “Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?”

Doooouuuuuche

His cold touch on my skin never failed to make my heart thud erratically. Twice, when that happened, I caught a look on his face that made me sure he could somehow hear it.
-Bella

Anyone else wonder what happens when she farts?

I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I would give this stranger with her horribly desirable blood.
-Edward Cullen, Midnight Sun

“Well shit, I just wanted to borrow your Bunsen burner; you didn’t have to bite my head off!”

When I came here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in the door. I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 2, p.35

No, that starts in book 2.

His fingers were ice-cold, like he’d been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that wasn’t why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When he touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 2, p.45

Cliché #257 accounted for!

I was consumed by the mystery Edward presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edward himself.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 3, p.67

I was completely absorbed, except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Edward was doing now, and trying to imagine what he would be saying if he were here with me.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 6, p.117

Aaaaaand obsessed needy girlfriend is born.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Now for the creeptastic best-of-the-best!

You’re always crabbier when your eyes are black — I expect it then.
Bella Swan, Twilight, Chapter 8, p.171

Expect what exactly? Red flag!

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