Archive for category randomness

I Apologize to Science!

May I present you with today’s episode of Your Daily Woo, brought to you—very unfortunately—by me. Try to figure out why I’m ashamed to have bought the following product:
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I swear I didn’t know! It was 2009! I didn’t even use them! If I had realized what the label claimed, I wouldn’t have bought the silly things.

Dear science, please forgive me for purchasing homeopathic “medicine.”

The label says “No risk of side effects. No expiration date.” Of course there are no side effects and no expiration date. There’s nothing in them to cause a reaction! The main ingredient is bullshit.

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Unicorns Exist!

I think there are more reasons why unicorns might exist than god. Here’s why:

99% horse, 1% cooler horse!

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Alternate Use for the Bible

Is church so boring that you need to liven it up with a bit of booze?
Think you’ll grow intimately with the lord with a little liquor in you?
Does the thought of reciting one more “Our Father” drive you to drink?

Have I got the solution for you!

The Hollow Book Flask Safe
$50.00 from SecretSafeBooks on Etsy.com

Bible Flask Safe on Etsy.com

Bible Flask Safe on Etsy.com

The way of salvation…nah.
Comfort in time of loneliness? Nope.
ALCOHOL! Yes! Cheers, mate!

“Help in time of need” indeed!

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Profitable Prophet

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone repeat that damned clichéd quote, I’d turn a profit.

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