99% horse, 1% cooler horse!

Have I got the solution for you!

The Hollow Book Flask Safe
$50.00 from SecretSafeBooks on Etsy.com

The way of salvation…nah.
Comfort in time of loneliness? Nope.
ALCOHOL! Yes! Cheers, mate!

“Help in time of need” indeed!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone repeat that damned clichéd quote, I’d turn a profit.

Sod off, wankers.

And to my remaining readers:

Don’t sod off, ok?

In other news, I was called a “Harry Potter idol worshiper”  on my tumblr yesterday. Let me say this: if Jesus’ story was written by J.K. Rowling, I might like him a little better, okay? And Jesus’ scars aren’t lightning bolt shaped. Case closed.

A Russian friend of mine may be in a dangerous situation in Washington, DC.

My friend and former student K arrived in DC yesterday, along with a friend. She came over on some kind of travel exchange program put together by a Russian travel agency called ‘XXXXX’. They paid about 3K for this program.

The program promised a job offer in advance, but didn’t deliver. They said they would send one via email, but failed there, too.

Her contact in the USA barely speaks English, doesn’t answer her calls but does answer mine. He has asked her and her friend to meet in NYC tonight around midnight, with promises of hostess work in a lounge. Yes, I know how horrific that sounds- that’s why I am working all possible angles here.

A dramatic story of what could have become sex trafficking plays out in a single internet thread. It’s an adventure to read, and I won’t spoil it for you. I just have to say: This is what the internet can do.This is what people can do.

Check out the exciting MetaFilter thread and its counterpart MetaTalk discussion which has more story details and resources for how to help. The Newsweek Blog also spoke to one of the key players.

Go vote on the most awesomest things ever at mostawesomestthingever.com

So, you’re wondering how you were suddenly screwed out of your immortal bliss? Blame GameStation and your own laziness:

GameStation has today revealed that it legally owns the souls of thousands of customers, thanks to a clause it secretly added to the online terms and conditions for the official GameStation website.

The “Immortal Soul Clause” was added as part of an attempt to highlight how few customers read the terms and conditions of an online sale. GameStation claims that 88 percent of customers did not read the clause, which gives legal ownership of the customer’s soul over to the UK-based games retailer.

The remaining 12 percent of customers however did notice the clause and clicked the relevant opt-out box, netting themselves a £5 GBP gift voucher in the process. … more than 7,500 customers fell for the simple ploy and missed out on the gift voucher.

(source)

My joy to be bound in damnation with you is short-lived, however. The executives will be contacting you shortly to issue a nullification. Sigh.

If you still want to come to the party, just become a heathen like us! It’s gonna be kickass.

God’s Computer

(source)

More tooooooons after the cut

Life Before Birth

(source) In fact, go check out the entire archive of Ape, Not Monkey: “The Science vs. Religion Comic Strip”. It’s fabulous!

The Ten Commandments

(source) Yet another awesome blog/comic to follow: Bizarro by the amazing David Piraro

Lump

(source) What could be better than a comic about Jesus and Mohammad? Jesus and Mohammad eating gefilte fish.

This is my challenge!

Original photo by Lady Vic (flickr.com)

Are you a blogger or journaler? Do you have a youtube channel? Do you have twitter or facebook? It doesn’t matter if you’re an atheist, republican, Canadian, teenager, stay-at-home mom, food blogger, cartoonist, scientist, or anything at all. There are no restrictions on who can participate.

Here’s What to Do

1. Write, blog, plurk, tweet, or record one honest moment or thought each day for one week starting whenever you want.
2. Be honest and take your time. Say something you may not have said to your audience before. It has to be about you, and it will hopefully be a bit more revealing of who you are than a statement like “I hate Chinese food.” Work with me here! If you’ve had writer’s block like I have, this could help you jump out of it. Use it as a springboard to talk about anything you like!
3. When you start the challenge, leave your link below so we can all read it/watch it/fap to it.
4. I’d appreciate it if you’d spread the word around so others could take part. You can link to this post and use the image above if you like! Tweet it, share it on facebook, or just keep it simple—your choice!
5. There is no closing date, so come back and do it agin anytime!

I'm considering a 'terrible t-shirts' post one day. Isn't this classy? And gross?

I should not own three laundry baskets, but all those clothes have to go somewhere! One is dedicated to dirty laundry, but two entire baskets were stuffed with crumpled up linens and old shirts and sweaters. After I moved from my old apartment, the “should be sorted sometime” collection had nowhere to hide. I kept staring at it when I grabbed my outfit for the day out of my closet. My inability to purge a simple clump of clothing nagged the back of my mind. Maybe I really am that lazy. The fact that I’m sneezing right now from the musty smell is my admission of guilt.

Some of the clothing can be washed and salvaged for future rotation, but I’m ashamed to say my dig through the baskets tonight was like extracting core samples from the depths of earth’s history. The further I dove, the older my memories associated with each piece of clothing.

So to share a bit of my life with you, here is my list of tops I’m throwing away tonight:

Third Day “Truth Gomer” (2001): The fans of the Christian band Third Day call themselves Gomers, after a song and woman in the Bible. Gomer became a last name of sorts, and each Gomer registered a first name to go along with it. After you registered, they sent you a bright orange t-shirt with “Property of ____ Gomer” on the front. You took a permanent marker and wore your Gomer name in the blank space. My name was Truth Gomer because my ideal in life was to always tell the truth and seek the Truth as much as possible. Look where that search landed me?

Gospel Choir (2001): My alma mater had a black gospel choir, and I sang alto and tenor (hell yeah I said tenor). It was some of the most fun I had in college. For concerts on campus, we wore bright, bold t-shirts with bold words like “GRACE”, “FAITH”, and “SOUL” emblazoned on the front. I cut my yellow one off at the bottom because I was “edgy” and it was too tight around my hips. Apparently t-shirt dresses were in style and nobody knew it.

Hard Rock Cafe: Memphis (2002): I went on a mission trip to Memphis, TN in 2002 for my spring break. We traveled for Jesus, not for booze! We helped some families with manual labor and went witnessing in the poor parts of the city. I used to collect Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts from every city I visited. This shirt was especially cool because it had a puffy, sparkling flaming electric guitar on the back. I wore it everywhere! Want to know what my strongest memory is from that trip? The splinter-shedding bunk beds and how my tonsils swelled up so large that everyone felt the need to comment on how loudly I snored. Snoring for Jesus, I guess…

The shirt I ruined while having sex on the laundry room floor (2007): Well, not the actual top, but its twin. I bought the yellow blouse specifically for the date I was on; I loved that silly shirt (best boob day ever). Perhaps as a result of this wonderful boob day, my over-zealous (ex-)boytoy ruined it in a smear of detergent. I purchased another one to replace it, and made sure that it didn’t get any similar stains. Hey Mom, I hope you’re not reading this!

I am ecstatic about moving on from the person I was during each of those periods of my life. Nostalgia is amusing and sweet, but I’m done. Good memories, all of them. But good riddance all the same!