On the rare days when I check my email (read: I’m a lazy bum), I often find questions or objections that deserve posts of their own. I do not claim to be wise nor exhaustive in my ideas, but I hope my thoughts on these topics will be helpful to those who ask.

Saying grace before carving the turkey in the home of Earle Landis, Neffsville, November 1942. (Photo from Penn State Live)
On Saying Grace
I read your blog post “Do You Participate When You Don’t Believe?” and I was wondering… I was brought up in a heavily Christian family and we always say Grace on holidays- especially Christmas and Thanksgiving. How can I avoid this politely and without offending anyone?
–Nicole (Colie the Magical Closet Atheist)
See my answer after the break.
Read the Rest! Post a comment (17)“Life sucks and then you die.” Or so said my coworker when she heard about my break-up with my boyfriend yesterday. I laughed, and she promised she would pray for God to take away my troubles. Another acquaintance tried to comfort me by saying I shouldn’t be afraid about finding another man in the future. God would provide, and we have nothing to fear.
Well, sometimes life does suck, being lonely is no fun, and once in a while I wonder if I will find a mate for the long haul who will be an amazing match for me. But am I afraid? Does being an atheist have anything to do with my heartache? I don’t think so, no.
Fear and Humanity
Do atheists fear the world? Is fear a bad thing? Would believing in God protect us from trouble and remove fear from our lives?
(Read more after the cut…)
Read the Rest! Post a comment (17)
Which is more difficult: asking for forgiveness or forgiving someone else?
I think they’re both tough, so let’s focus on me for a second while you ruminate.
It’s humbling to ask someone to forgive me because it requires a public admission of wrong that could have otherwise been swept under a rug somewhere and forgotten. I don’t like bringing something to someone’s attention if they didn’t know about it already. Even if they are fully aware that I’ve done something stupid, it’s still hard for me to suck it up, swallow my pride, and focus on that mistake, blunder, or vile action. I fear embarrassment, and would really enjoy being right all the time (even though I rarely am). What can I say? I have a ridiculous ego. Asking for forgiveness means doing the hard work to repair a broken trust and relationship. It means owning up to one’s darkest behaviors and thoughts. It’s difficult.
Granting forgiveness to someone else challenges another part of my me. I don’t often hold grudges, but when I have been deeply hurt, I tend to pick at the emotional scar until it bleeds all over again. I have the kind of mind that dwells on or over-thinks words others have spoken or ways I’ve been treated. And when I scratch those painful scars, they never get the chance to heal even if I know that letting them fade away would be best. As strange as this sounds, I must want to feel angry and hurt if I keep rehashing those old wounds over and over again. Forgiveness means letting go completely that need to over-think and dwell upon old pain. It means taking the biggest step towards letting go. It means moving on and giving freedom to the person who owes a debt to me. I’ll admit that sometimes being able to forgive is hard.
So what about you? Which do you think is the most difficult to do: asking or giving?

