It’s all over the news! It’s confirmed! California’s Proposition 8 has been ruled unconstitutional, violating both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment.
Read the entire decision document here:
Prop 8 Ruling (it will pop up, and you can expand it)
This is a tremendous victory for gay rights!
illustration by jessalyn aaland
You know the pattern: trolls infect message boards; disrespectful thoughts are voiced in comments; vile hatred and immature squabbling is shrugged off… all because this online world we both inhabit at this very moment (me writing, you reading) is considered an escape from reality.
Lovers and friends make acquaintances via dating sites, games, and social networks. A global conversation occurs over an electronic medium. Cultures collide, meld, and leak over into each other’s midst all without physical contact.
And still, we shrug off these situations (good and bad) like poor substitutes for living. You wouldn’t believe how many people do not think meeting your partner online is a valid. Or that your friendships that develop through a game or a chat room could possibly hold the meaning of the friends local to you.
But are these virtual experiences and venues any less valid or effective than those that happen in person? Look at all that we accomplish through virtual avenues: raising funds and awareness for global causes; connecting people who can change the world from thousands of miles away; spreading knowledge and ideas to those who may not have access to them otherwise; and, on a personal note, helping people like me learn how to see the world and my place in it in a totally new way. The online world brings change, freedom, and so much more.
Why do we discount an online life? Why do we act as if “Real Life” is always more meaningful, respectful, and worthy of our care? Why do we act differently online than we think is appropriate in “Real Life”?’
Here’s what Alexandra Samuel says at the Harvard Business Review:
It’s time to start living in 21st century reality: a reality that is both on- and offline. Acknowledge online life as real, and the Internet’s transformative potential opens up:
- When you commit to being your real self online, you discover parts of yourself you never dared to share offline.
- When you visualize the real person you’re about to e-mail or tweet, you bring human qualities of attention and empathy to your online communications.
- When you take the idea of online presence literally, you can experience your online disembodiment as a journey into your mind rather than out of your body.
- When you treat your Facebook connections as real friends instead of “friends”, you stop worrying about how many you have and focus on how well you treat them.
- When you take your Flickr photos, YouTube videos and blog posts seriously as real art, you reclaim creative expression as your birthright.
- When you focus on creating real meaning with your time online, your online footprint makes a deeper impression.
- When you treat your online attention as a real resource, you invest your attention in the sites that reflect your values, helping those sites grow.
- When you spend your online time on what really matters to you, you experience your time online as an authentic reflection of your values.
- When you embrace online conversations as real, you imbue them with the power to change how you and others think and feel.
- When you talk honestly about the real joys and frustrations of the Internet, you can stop apologizing for your life online.
If this sounds like the kind of reality you want to live in, I’ve got great news: you can move in today. All it takes is the decision to treat your online existence seriously, honestly and attentively, and you will find that the Internet is RLT: Real Life Too.
What do you think about this? Are online life and offline life different for you? Should they be?
from 'Wonderfully Made' (1967)
I used to think my education about sexuality and reproduction was sub-par, but this woman who wrote in to the advice column Ask Amy [Note: article not online anymore] takes the cake, cookies, and the whole damn tub of ice cream.
Dear Amy: My husband and I are devout Catholics. We have chosen to protect the innocence of our 7-year-old son by not educating him about the “facts of life” until he hits puberty.
We have told him that the Virgin Mary puts a baby on your doorstep if you pray for one. He is in a Catholic school, so we don’t have to worry about “sexual education.”
My sister knows about our choice, but she does not approve of it. She is pregnant. Recently, she wore a “Baby on Board” T-shirt when visiting.
Our son asked about it, but I did not know what to tell him! What should I do if a problem like this arises in the future?
— Worried Mom
My reaction:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oaa1MkSG5EQ
And then I nearly peed myself.
This is ridiculous even for Catholics. This poor child—who will undoubtedly discover the magical powers of his penis before his parents even admit he has one—can only be defined as a victim. His parents’ efforts to shelter him from all knowledge and curiosity will fail miserably thanks to his friends, television, the internet, and print media. They may be Super Catholics™, but they don’t live in a bubble.
I can understand the desire to protect your children from the more crude and basic aspects of life as much as possible, but by blatantly lying about something as obvious as Mary “the Stork” Mother of Jesus and the fact that babies grow in a mother’s womb they are also killing his trust in them later once he finds out they deceived him. Why should he listen to anything they have to say about sex or the bible when they lie about something so innocent?
One of the main thrusts of Catholic morality is to wait until marriage to have intercourse. If this boy doesn’t learn that babies are a natural consequence of intercourse, he will be even more likely to go out and have sex early on, won’t he? And what a surprise it would be to have a young girl pregnant and the parents hearing their son say, “But I didn’t pray to Mary for a baby. Why did she bring one?”
Don’t even get me started with the mother’s offense at a “Baby On Board” t-shirt.
Oh, but let’s not forget the columnist’s response! Here’s what Amy said [Note:article not online anymore]:
Dear Mom: You could ask your son’s teachers or clergy for guidance, but because you’re asking me, I’ll respond by asking you: Isn’t an essential element of the drama of Jesus’ birth that he was born of a human mother?
In the biblical version of “Baby on Board,” wasn’t Mary “great with child” when she and Joseph stumbled into Nazareth?
A baby isn’t a newspaper, left on the doorstep by an omnipotent delivery person.
All animals and humans give birth to babies, and even if you don’t want to explain how babies are conceived, it is both truthful and religiously defensible to tell your son that babies grow inside their mother’s bodies (or “tummies”) until they are born. If you want to fabricate the story of how they got there, go for it.
Bravo, and I hope she gets some sense knocked into her.
P.S. The image in this blog post is from Wonderfully Made—an amusing children’s book about families from the point of view of the 1960′s Catholic church. Check it out. Classic gold!
Photo by discoodoni
I feel uncomfortable when it comes to making promises. Saying something like “I can absolutely do that for you.” or “I’ll send that to you ASAP” makes me wary. Why? Because I know myself.
I’m not completely trustworthy, especially when it comes to getting things done. I don’t want to promise anything until I know that I will actually do it and do it on time. Breaking a promise means losing someone’s trust. It also means that I was dishonest (even if unintentionally).
Bigger promises lke “I will always love you” and “I swear I will never ____ again” are obvious trouble-makers. But so many of us say them without worrying if we’ll later break those vows later on. But what if we didn’t promise anything? What would that be like, and would out loved ones have the same confidence and security with us? How would a wedding vow that says “I will try my best to love you for as long as we are compatible” sound?
Lying and promise-breaking also bothered me as a Christian believer. In high school I meditated on the themes of speech, lying, and the power of the tongue. Pardon me for a minute, because I’m about to give you all a little bible study:
Yeah, yeah… fiery depths of hell for all liars, blah blah. We got it. But wait. Behind all the “die evildoers” text, I think these verses contain lessons about our speech that people of all religions and non-belief can live by:
- Live with integrity; be trustworthy
- Words have consequences
- Think before you speak
Do you make promises of love and commitment when you know you might not keep them? Do you make promises in general?
Olin Thang on 
Cortez Frisch on 
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