photo by Ken Fager

I’m sick of assholes. I’d be less colorful in my language, but I also don’t think being censored necessarily leads to a better life. Maybe I should add that to my list.

I’ve penned a few quick tips for how to stop being an idiot who makes life unpleasant for yourself and those around you. Most of this is specifically directed at the atheist/theist community. If it applies to you, you probably won’t think it does, but someone out there might be picturing your face or username right about now, so it pays to give a few of these a whirl just to say you tried. Heck, it might just help us become a better society, and wouldn’t that be just peachy?

What are logical fallacies?

Here are a few helpful resources for improving your (and my!) writing.

The straw man fallacy is when you misrepresent someone else’s position so that it can be attacked more easily, knock down that misrepresented position, then conclude that the original position has been demolished. It’s a fallacy because it fails to deal with the actual arguments that have been made.

“To be an atheist, you have to believe with absolute certainty that there is no God. In order to convince yourself with absolute certainty, you must examine all the Universe and all the places where God could possibly be. Since you obviously haven’t, your position is indefensible.”

The above straw man argument appears at about once a week on the net. If you can’t see what’s wrong with it, read the “Introduction to Atheism” document.

—”Atheism: Logic & Fallacies,” Infidels.org

Also because, as stated above, there is a tendency to start with desired conclusions and then construct arguments to support them, many people will happily draw upon logical fallacies to make their arguments. In fact, if a conclusion is not true one must either employ a false premise or a logical fallacy in order to construct an argument that leads to that conclusion. Remember, a sound argument (one with true premises and valid logic) cannot lead to a false conclusion. So in order to avoid using logical fallacies to construct invalid arguments, we need to understand how to identify fallacious logic.

—”How to Argue,” Steven Novella, MD

It is particularly easy to slip up and commit a fallacy when you have strong feelings about your topic—if a conclusion seems obvious to you, you’re more likely to just assume that it is true and to be careless with your evidence.

—UNC “Fallacies” handout

Some of these wiki entries apply directly to secular folks like you and me. Do you have a friend who wants to ask you how your spiritual walk with god is going? Is your brother confronting you at an awkward time about your lack of church attendance? Do you just want to avoid debates on religion all together? Check out this bit of wisdom about how to handle acquaintances, family, or friends when they want to talk about spiritual matters:

How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion

Photo by hovering dog (flickr.com)

from wikiHow

There is a time and place for everything under the sun, including discussions about religion. Whether you are religious or not, if someone is trying to draw you into a conversation, or perhaps an argument, regarding religion or morality but the timing and situation is awkward and uncomfortable, this article will help you find a way to avoid a heated debate as politely as possible.

Steps

1. Resist the urge to argue. It’s difficult to overlook a statement that seems completely ignorant and ungrounded, and you’ll likely have the urge to correct the person. Instead, smile and say “Interesting…”
2. Meet it head on with honesty. Be true to yourself and your own feelings. Say “I’m not comfortable talking about that and I’m just not willing to have this conversation…”
3. Redirect the conversation.
   • Ask about their children, significant other, health, or job.
   • Make an absurd joke to deflect the seriousness of the situation. For example, try: “Religion? No, I haven’t seen that movie.” Or: “Religion?! What . . . do you get that at, like, Wal-Mart or Starbucks or something?” Or: “No thanks. I haven’t been able to talk about religion since the last time the Cubs won the World Series.”
   • Dead pan, “I am sorry. I have a firm rule to not discuss politics or religion with anyone I’ve not seen naked.” That usually ends the discussion rather abruptly, and on a light-hearted note.
   • For people who are insistent on discussing religion, however, they’re likely to return to that topic quickly, so keep the conversation flowing at the level of small talk until you can do something else.
4. Suggest a better time. If you would like to discuss religion at a better time and location, invite the person to meet you. This will allow you to control the environment, length of discussion, involved parties and other factors. Simply saying “This is definitely something I’d love to discuss with you, but can we do it at another time?” will do the trick, as long as you mean it. If you do not care to ever discuss religion with this person at all, skip this step.
5. Excuse yourself. Remove yourself from the situation by taking a bathroom break, or by greeting someone you know who just arrived, or even by lying and saying that your cell phone is ringing silently. Look at the phone and pretend that it’s someone close to you and that you must briefly take the call. However, remember to return to the conversation, because bailing out suddenly and not returning will be considered rude, and may only add further motivation for the person to “enlighten” you.
6. Bring in another conversationalist. When you can’t avoid a person who wants to talk about religion, look for a another person in the situation who you know has strong opinions about religion and enjoys a good debate. Introduce the two, and leave them to split theological hairs together.
7. Be straightforward. Tell the conversationalist that this is the wrong time for this discussion.
   • If you are at work, explain that it is not proper to discuss controversial subjects in the workplace because there’s a line to be drawn between personal views and professional pursuits, and you would like to focus on maintaining professionalism.
   • If you are at a social event such as a dinner party or a wedding, remind the conversationalist that this was intended to be a happy, lighthearted celebration, and that you would rather not weigh down the evening (or the morning or afternoon) with discussions about more serious things in life.
   • Politely tell the truth. “I do not want to talk about religion right now.” If a person rudely continues to discuss their views on religion, politely ask them to stop being disrespectful to you and your request. Tell them that you intend to walk away if they continue.
   • If you don’t mind sharing your views but don’t want the conversation, share your views and then ask an unrelated question. Often, they will get the hint that you are not interested in theological discussion and move on.

Tips

• Recognize the reasons you believe what you believe, or why you do not believe in anything in particular. Understanding your own beliefs, or lack thereof, will strengthen your resolve. You do not need to argue your reasons and, in fact, you are better off not arguing.
• As long as you are diplomatic and kind when you positively say you do not want to discuss religion, you will be respected.
• Conversations about religion shouldn’t be uncomfortable unless you are unsure about your own beliefs. It is completely proper to tell them you have your own beliefs, or lack of them, and are not interested in discussing the topic.
• Religion should be discussed openly and objectively without fear of hurting someone’s feelings.
• It is rude for a person to refuse to leave you alone when you have asked them to.
• Many people don’t mean to be rude, they just literally don’t realize that not everyone around them has had the same upbringing, background, or culture. It may not occur to someone for example that their coworker is Jewish not Christian if the speaker lives in a predominantly Christian area, etc.

Warnings

• Leading a persistent conversationalist to believe that you are agreeing with their views just so you can quiet them will most likely encourage them to follow up more frequently with you. If you let them think you agree with them, they will may to check in from time to time to see if you are still on the same page.
• Seeming flippant or like a cynic may challenge your friend to find more ways to reach you; so reassure your friend, “I have my beliefs; let’s just talk about other things.” Keep the friend and keep on the right path.

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

Other useful WikiHow articles for the godless:

• How to Be a Good Listener
• How to Think for Yourself
• How to Explain of Defend Atheism
• How to Defend Evolution Against Creationism
• Collection of WikiHow articles on Atheism

One positive aspect of the December holiday season is an increased awareness and practice of altruism and general good will. I admit I get the warm fuzzies when Christmas nears and feel tender towards those in need when the temperatures drop. It’s a shame that my selfishness overwhelms me most of the year. I’m guilty of not giving nearly enough of my time, money, and possessions as I could.

One of the most popular and visible American charities during the winter season is the Salvation Army. I remember each year as a child getting one of my favorite toys out of my closet or off of my bed, washing it, and taking it with my siblings and their toys to the local Salvation Army donation center. My father would lead us inside, and we left those cherished bears, dolls, and action figures in a box for children who didn’t have what we were fortunate enough to own. It taught me that I should give from my valuables–not my trash–and that I should never forget those in need.

Should we support the Salvation Army?

The wonderful ZJ of emptv.com, youtube, and twitter just posted a through-provoking video on why supporters of GLBT equal rights should not donate to the Salvation Army. Check out the video!

Here’s some of that video in writing:

…In [The Salvation Army's] statement on marriage, they describe it as being “ordained by God”, and defined as “one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others”. And according to their statement on homosexuality, “Scripture forbids sexual intimacy between members of the same sex”, and therefore, gay Christians are “called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life”. Just to be clear on this, they further state that “There is no scriptural support for same-sex unions as equal to, or as an alternative to, heterosexual marriage”.

The Salvation Army also gained the special favor of the Bush administration,

…which had made a “firm commitment” to issue a regulation overriding state and local laws prohibiting employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. This would grant an exemption to these laws for religious groups, including those receiving government funding, explicitly allowing them to discriminate against gay people in hiring decisions and benefits for their domestic partners. After this deal came to light, the White House reversed course and refused to grant them an exemption.

In case you’re wondering what to do with your donations, ZJ also provides a helpful list of worthy charities for your consideration. You can find the full list here. I’ve also added a few of my own favorites below.

• Doctors Without Borders
• The American Red Cross
• Amnesty International
• Heifer International
• Scripps Research Institute
• Kiva.org (which has a very active Atheist team--having both the most members and most money donated on the entire site!)
• Marine Toys for Tots Foundation
• Oxfam International

You can also find a prolific list of causes and non-religious groups to support on FreethoughtPedia!

Don’t let the views of one organization keep you from serving, giving, and showing love to those less fortunate. There is no excuse for that! Happy holidays, and may your hearts be full of joy, affection, and contentment.

We were a controversial group, and the legality of our actions was sometimes called into question. I wish that the club leader had known what the rights of students were and what was considered a breach of church and State separation.

Americans United for Separation of Church and State (AUSCS) just published a new book detailing the current rights and legal climate connecting religion and schools: Religion in the Public Schools: A Road Map for Avoiding Lawsuits and Respecting Parents’ Legal Rights by Anne Lofaso, an Associate Professor of Law at West Virginia University College of Law.

Watch the introductory video and see if it’s a resource you’d find helpful!

You can download the PDF version of the book for FREE at religioninthepublicschools.com and buy the hard copy for reference on Amazon.com.

“I want to be a card-carrying Atheist. Maybe I should make my own cards…”

And Jim of How good is that? responded with a great interpretation that we can all download for free and keep in our wallets.

I love this idea, and I think you should check it out!

Speaking of which, what sorts of end-of-life wishes have you laid out? Do your loved ones know? Are they legally binding or simply verbal?

Cartoon © Oliver Widder

Newsflash, heathens: Skeptics/Freethinkers/Atheists are all over twitter! [Can you tell I have a hard time labeling the godless?]

How involved can you get with a website that asks “What are you doing?” Wait, don’t ask. Just smile, nod, and think of a good username.

Here are a few brief reasons you should be using twitter:

1) For the people. You are not alone–I promise! Twitter is a fabulous resource for you if you are: still in the closet, surrounded by religion, living far away from freethought communities or groups, or just those who want to have camaraderie. There is always conversation to be had and friends to make. You might even discover someone close to you. Networking is an obvious plus for anyone who wants to make connections with seculars.

2) For the brain. The links just keep on coming. From blogs to news, forums, research, and silliness–the godless tweeps will always keep you informed and entertained. Get a secular taste of what’s happening in the world, and keep your brain humming throughout the day. I have so many articles and blogs to read now that I can’t keep up with it all! Follow a few scientists and artists and enjoy how your knowledge and appreciation for the natural world expands.

3) For the lawls. My tweeps are wicked fabulous. Tossing around sarcastic banter, shirking propriety for a laugh, and having an all-around swell time will keep you healthier and happier. Just don’t forget to get off your flattening arse and take a walk.

Bonus! It’s better than any holy day service!

Jump on the godless train!
Here is a wiki of atheists on twitter to get you started. If you have an account, add your info to the list.
@zipzink has organized one of the largest lists of Atheists on twitter–complete with profiles!
There’s an atheist group on twibes.com with 200+ members and a huge list on wefollow.com.
Also check out the latest atheist activity on twitter.
And don’t forget to follow me and say hello!