I love the comic brilliance of Dan Aykroyd. I have such fond memories of watching him act on Saturday Night Live and in films such as Ghost Busters and The Blues Brothers.
And then my mind was blown. He is so much more.
My flat mate introduced me to this man’s passion for the paranormal and love for conspiracy theories. He’s even a Hollywood spokesperson for The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON).
Did you know Dan Aykroyd made vodka?
This video was the sole reason we bought Crystal Head Vodka. We just could not contain our mirth. The bottle is now sitting on our bookcase, and the vodka is actually rather tasty.
For all you Netflix members, there’s an interview-posing-as-documentary on Netflix Streaming called “Dan Aykroyd Unplugged on UFOs” that is just as hilarious as any UFO believer raving on about the topic—except this is Dan Aykroyd being serious, which makes it even more funny to me. The description on Netflix reads: “Skeptics beware!” So obviously, skeptics should grab the popcorn and enjoy this failure of a documentary. I can’t even describe the terrible narration by the interviewer, cheap camcorder production value, and the graphics. Glorious.
I think Aykroyd might just be the most entertaining rambler of all time:
Hey baby, what’s your sign? You don’t know anymore, do you?
Woo-woo lovers everywhere are going apeshit because the astrological calendar has added a 13th sign, Ophiuchus (try to get a sexy tattoo of that on your ass, ladies). This addition shifts the dates for all the other signs:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Take me for example. I used to be a Pisces, which means that I was (supposedly) intuitive, dreamy, artistic, humane, sympathetic, sensitive, compassionate, perceptive, tender, and impressionable.
Here’s the NEW me: Aquarius! I’m (supposedly) individualistic, assertive, independent, humanitarian, inventive, original, eccentric, opinionated, intellectual, idealistic, cool, friendly, and detached. How can you be both friendly and detached? I have no idea, but apparently that’s who I am. The stars told me so!
Hey, maybe it is true! According to my profiles, as a Pisces I was “spiritual” but now I’m an “intellectual” and “logical” Aquarius! 
I find this stuff to be both interesting and ridiculous. I admit I love knowing more about myself and analyzing my traits and personality. Does that mean I take astrology seriously? Shit no. The stars can’t tell me who I am more than a cold reading by any psychic.
But damn, I love seeing people freak out that their Zodiac tattoos are now incorrect. Are you passionate or intelligent now? Are you compatible with an Aries or not? The internet is filling up with cries of OMGAHH, HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT SOMEONE TELLING ME WHAT MY PERSONALITY IS SUPPOSED TO BE.
I get the feeling that the dewoosional are just empty shells waiting for someone else to fill them with fluff. Fill your own shell … with cheese or maybe a personality or an original thought!
This Aquarius is going to go listen to some music to celebrate my new personality.
May I present you with today’s episode of Your Daily Woo, brought to you—very unfortunately—by me. Try to figure out why I’m ashamed to have bought the following product:
I swear I didn’t know! It was 2009! I didn’t even use them! If I had realized what the label claimed, I wouldn’t have bought the silly things.
Dear science, please forgive me for purchasing homeopathic “medicine.”
The label says “No risk of side effects. No expiration date.” Of course there are no side effects and no expiration date. There’s nothing in them to cause a reaction! The main ingredient is bullshit.
If you’re a fan of skepticism, science, and laughs, you’ll adore my favorite musical comic, Tim Minchin (possibly bumping the late, great Victor Borge down a notch). What I would give to see him perform live! He has the perfect song to illustrate the skeptic’s view of woo: “If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out (Take My Wife)”
You can download an mp3 of this song (and others) here!
Bonus! His long-and-worth-every-second hilarious beat poem “Storm” slams woo with crisp, creative rhyme. Tim, my mind is humping you! Hope that’s okay with your wife.
P.S. Did you know that my pet term “dewoosional” is now up on urbandictionary.com? Now you do.
Olin Thang on 
Cortez Frisch on 
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