And then my mind was blown. He is so much more.

My flat mate introduced me to this man’s passion for the paranormal and love for conspiracy theories. He’s even a Hollywood spokesperson for The Mutual UFO Network (MUFON).

Did you know Dan Aykroyd made vodka?

Click here to view the embedded video.

This video was the sole reason we bought Crystal Head Vodka. We just could not contain our mirth. The bottle is now sitting on our bookcase, and the vodka is actually rather tasty.

For all you Netflix members, there’s an interview-posing-as-documentary on Netflix Streaming called “Dan Aykroyd Unplugged on UFOs” that is just as hilarious as any UFO believer raving on about the topic—except this is Dan Aykroyd being serious, which makes it even more funny to me. The description on Netflix reads: “Skeptics beware!” So obviously, skeptics should grab the popcorn and enjoy this failure of a documentary. I can’t even describe the terrible narration by the interviewer, cheap camcorder production value, and the graphics. Glorious.

I think Aykroyd might just be the most entertaining rambler of all time:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Hey baby, what’s your sign? You don’t know anymore, do you?

Woo-woo lovers everywhere are going apeshit because the astrological calendar has added a 13th sign, Ophiuchus (try to get a sexy tattoo of that on your ass, ladies). This addition shifts the dates for all the other signs:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Aries: April 18- May 13
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Gemini: June 21- July 20
Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Take me for example. I used to be a Pisces, which means that I was (supposedly) intuitive, dreamy, artistic, humane, sympathetic, sensitive, compassionate, perceptive, tender, and impressionable.

Here’s the NEW me: Aquarius! I’m (supposedly) individualistic, assertive, independent, humanitarian, inventive, original, eccentric, opinionated, intellectual, idealistic, cool, friendly, and detached. How can you be both friendly and detached? I have no idea, but apparently that’s who I am. The stars told me so!

Hey, maybe it is true! According to my profiles, as a Pisces I was “spiritual” but now I’m an “intellectual” and “logical” Aquarius!

I find this stuff to be both interesting and ridiculous. I admit I love knowing more about myself and analyzing my traits and personality. Does that mean I take astrology seriously? Shit no. The stars can’t tell me who I am more than a cold reading by any psychic.

But damn, I love seeing people freak out that their Zodiac tattoos are now incorrect. Are you passionate or intelligent now? Are you compatible with an Aries or not? The internet is filling up with cries of OMGAHH, HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT SOMEONE TELLING ME WHAT MY PERSONALITY IS SUPPOSED TO BE.

I get the feeling that the dewoosional are just empty shells waiting for someone else to fill them with fluff. Fill your own shell … with cheese or maybe a personality or an original thought!

This Aquarius is going to go listen to some music to celebrate my new personality.

I swear I didn’t know! It was 2009! I didn’t even use them! If I had realized what the label claimed, I wouldn’t have bought the silly things.

Dear science, please forgive me for purchasing homeopathic “medicine.”

The label says “No risk of side effects. No expiration date.” Of course there are no side effects and no expiration date. There’s nothing in them to cause a reaction! The main ingredient is bullshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFO6ZhUW38w

You can download an mp3 of this song (and others) here!

Bonus! His long-and-worth-every-second hilarious beat poem “Storm” slams woo with crisp, creative rhyme. Tim, my mind is humping you! Hope that’s okay with your wife.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujUQn0HhGEk

P.S. Did you know that my pet term “dewoosional” is now up on urbandictionary.com? Now you do.

… A 14 year old girl, Tamar, was recently diagnosed with liver cancer which required immediate and aggressive chemotherapy. But her parents have shunned conventional treatment in favour of “mud” therapy. A team of oncologists at Princes Margaret Childrens’ Hospital advised that a seven week course of chemotherapy would give Tamar a 50-60% chance of survival. Despite the treating hospital pleading with the parents to consent to chemotherapy, eventually seeking the involvement of the WA legal system, the parents fled Australia to El Salvador.

Their preferred treatment is tea made from herbs, and red clay gathered from around the hills near their house in El Salvador. Tamar’s mother says that “Clay is basically the right medicine for any kind of illness, (it can cure) anything”. She went on to say, “..it dries up anything that is causing the illness in your system”.

(source)

You’ve got to see the footage to believe it:

During the news report, the visibly ill, listless girl is asked whether she preferred her parents’ natural remedies over the choice of chemotherapy. Her father asks her if she’s ever felt pressured into this choice and reminds her about the side effects of chemo (like hair loss). She said that “yeah” she thought mud and tea were a better option than chemotherapy because she didn’t want to lose her hair.

Of course she didn’t want to lose her hair. Of course she would pick something easy and painless over something difficult. When her parents told her there was a simple way to get well, she took the easy route. Why? Because she trusts her parents and wants to avoid hardship. We can’t fault her for that. She’s 14! If she believes that something pleasant could benefit her health just as much as something unpleasant, who can blame her for picking the natural remedies?

The problem is, her parents are dewoosional. They don’t understand science, and instead trust in superstitions, faith, and old wives’ tales over demonstrated, practical reality. They make shit up to comfort theimselves instead of dealing with the plain truth that sometimes life screws you over, people get sick, and loved ones die.

With full knowledge of what multiple experts say about Tamar’s terminal condition, they’re refusing to acknowledge anything but their wishful thinking. These parents are stubbornly killing their daughter.

(via @AtheistinWA)

tweance

(Angels Fancy Dress)

Tweet your nominations for departed celebs to contact in the Halloween Tweance and what to ask them to @tweance #tweance

On 12-10-2009 14:07:47 from web

The Sun explains the event further:

Tweeters can choose which of their deceased idols they want to talk to, pick a question — then follow the “Tweance” in real time using the social networking site.

Jayne [Wallace] — who has been a natural clairvoyant since she was seven — will quiz four late stars nominated by Twitterers between 10am and 12pm on Friday October 30.

“Natural clairvoyant” really means “talented showperson” and “dewoosional hustler,” right? Yes, I just made up the word Dewoosional.

So, which easily-imitated dead celebs can we contact via twitter? Is there a high speed internet connection in heaven now? Have they upgraded from parchment and scrolls since the bronze age?

What do you think will happen during this stunt?

(via @mashable)