Godless Girl
and her adventures in Atheism
Trashing My Past (Or, the Stories T-Shirts Tell)
Mar 4th
I'm considering a 'terrible t-shirts' post one day. Isn't this classy? And gross?
I should not own three laundry baskets, but all those clothes have to go somewhere! One is dedicated to dirty laundry, but two entire baskets were stuffed with crumpled up linens and old shirts and sweaters. After I moved from my old apartment, the “should be sorted sometime” collection had nowhere to hide. I kept staring at it when I grabbed my outfit for the day out of my closet. My inability to purge a simple clump of clothing nagged the back of my mind. Maybe I really am that lazy. The fact that I’m sneezing right now from the musty smell is my admission of guilt.
Some of the clothing can be washed and salvaged for future rotation, but I’m ashamed to say my dig through the baskets tonight was like extracting core samples from the depths of earth’s history. The further I dove, the older my memories associated with each piece of clothing.
So to share a bit of my life with you, here is my list of tops I’m throwing away tonight:
Third Day “Truth Gomer” (2001): The fans of the Christian band Third Day call themselves Gomers, after a song and woman in the Bible. Gomer became a last name of sorts, and each Gomer registered a first name to go along with it. After you registered, they sent you a bright orange t-shirt with “Property of ____ Gomer” on the front. You took a permanent marker and wore your Gomer name in the blank space. My name was Truth Gomer because my ideal in life was to always tell the truth and seek the Truth as much as possible. Look where that search landed me? 
Gospel Choir (2001): My alma mater had a black gospel choir, and I sang alto and tenor (hell yeah I said tenor). It was some of the most fun I had in college. For concerts on campus, we wore bright, bold t-shirts with bold words like “GRACE”, “FAITH”, and “SOUL” emblazoned on the front. I cut my yellow one off at the bottom because I was “edgy” and it was too tight around my hips. Apparently t-shirt dresses were in style and nobody knew it.
Hard Rock Cafe: Memphis (2002): I went on a mission trip to Memphis, TN in 2002 for my spring break. We traveled for Jesus, not for booze! We helped some families with manual labor and went witnessing in the poor parts of the city. I used to collect Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts from every city I visited. This shirt was especially cool because it had a puffy, sparkling flaming electric guitar on the back. I wore it everywhere! Want to know what my strongest memory is from that trip? The splinter-shedding bunk beds and how my tonsils swelled up so large that everyone felt the need to comment on how loudly I snored. Snoring for Jesus, I guess…
The shirt I ruined while having sex on the laundry room floor (2007): Well, not the actual top, but its twin. I bought the yellow blouse specifically for the date I was on; I loved that silly shirt (best boob day ever). Perhaps as a result of this wonderful boob day, my over-zealous (ex-)boytoy ruined it in a smear of detergent. I purchased another one to replace it, and made sure that it didn’t get any similar stains. Hey Mom, I hope you’re not reading this!
I am ecstatic about moving on from the person I was during each of those periods of my life. Nostalgia is amusing and sweet, but I’m done. Good memories, all of them. But good riddance all the same!
Confession and Why It Works for Atheists
Mar 3rd
Confession. Its common definition outside of the law is an admission of sins or unrighteousness–often in order to gain absolution and forgiveness for breaking the laws or ideals of a deity. But since there is no deity, why should it ever apply to Atheists?
What is confession for atheists?
I’d like to re-brand confession for the secular audience. If it isn’t about sin and disappointing a god, then what is it and why should we adopt a seemingly religious word? I’d like to suggest the following definition:
Confession is an acknowledgment of something personal that perhaps needs improvement, is troubling or difficult, or opens one up to the inclusion of another person into the private parts of someone’s life. Confession may be an admission of wrongdoing, a kept secret, a story of emotional trial, or even a cry for help.
Do you know PostSecret? Then you get an idea of what secular confession is all about.
I grew up in a vibrant, passionate intentional community filled mostly with Catholics. The sacrament of confession is one of the most “holy” and beloved practices in that tradition. One of my closest friends attends a weekly confession with her priest. She meets with him in his office and talks to him about the struggles and frustrations in her life as she tries to become a better person full of love, mercy, and righteousness. I admire her for working so hard at improving who she is on the inside. If confiding in her religious authority brings her closer to what she truly feels is right, then good for her. She’s a gentle and loving friend, and I know she wants to be honest and real with me.
But why should a non-theist use a concept like confession if there is no sin or god to punish and shame us? One reason is because it works. When confession is used to better onesself and one’s community, it helps people open up to one another about the realities and struggles in their lives. Love and care is shared, and the community becomes stronger. The Christian system in particular is certainly a flawed system based on unrealistic expectations and needless guilt and fear, but when the “crime and punishment” aspect of confession is removed, it becomes more like therapy, honest intimacy, and consultation rather than an admission of wrongdoing. This portion of confession is what I desire in my own life.
Confession isn’t about feeling shame or fessing up because you have to. As an adult, no one is forcing you to admit anything. We still have free choice to tell one another about our secrets and our darker moments.
Why confess to another person?
Lesbian and Gay Strangers Get a Marriage License
Feb 15th
New York residents Kitty Lambert and her partner Cheryl wanted to get married, so they went to the Clerk’s office and asked for a marriage license. A group of people also went with them to protest the state’s recent defeat of a bill that would grant gays and lesbians the right to marry.
With news cameras rolling, Kitty then turned to the crowd and asked for any male who would be willing to get married to her. A gay man named Ed stepped forward and volunteered.
Kitty’s point in approaching the City Clerk for a marriage license is that there is no religious basis for marriage, and it serves only as a legally binding contract in our society. Instead of being offered the ability to receive a license with her long-term partner, she was able to secure a license with a virtual stranger, strictly based on their gender. (source)
Kitty and Ed say they will not actually marry until they are allowed to with the people they truly love (and actually know). Because it should be about commitment and partnership, not gender. Brava, Kitty!
Check out the Buffalo, NY news coverage for more shots of this moment.
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