I’m sick of assholes. I’d be less colorful in my language, but I also don’t think being censored necessarily leads to a better life. Maybe I should add that to my list.
I’ve penned a few quick tips for how to stop being an idiot who makes life unpleasant for yourself and those around you. Most of this is specifically directed at the atheist/theist community. If it applies to you, you probably won’t think it does, but someone out there might be picturing your face or username right about now, so it pays to give a few of these a whirl just to say you tried. Heck, it might just help us become a better society, and wouldn’t that be just peachy?
01
Don’t be an asshole. Just in case specifics are too much for you, try this one as a catch-all.
02
Want someone to listen to your opinions? Start by listening to theirs.
03
Biting one-liners & zingers won’t change anyone’s views on gods or the supernatural. You need to get deeper.
04
When you’re being a dick on the net, the only people who are hearing you are those who already agree with you. Do better.
05
Don’t evercensor your ‘enemy.’ When we all have equal rights, the best argument should win.
06
If you can make arguments about religion without resorting to cliches, quotes, or insults, you’re one step in the right direction.
07
Yes, some beliefs are silly, but the people who believe them do so for serious reasons. Find out what those are, and you might discover the keys to reaching that person. You might also gain a friend.
08
He/she may be rude, ignorant, or just an enormous bag of dicks, but you don’t need to be one in return no matter how tempting it may be.
09
When you make a mistake, are caught in a fallacy, or otherwise fuck up, apologize and start over. It will go a long way to help communication and gain you some respect.
10
Assume the persons with whom you debate have something to teach you. Be open to it, and they may become open to learning something from you in return.
11
No small group or single person is representative of the whole. Making sweeping statements about others only degrades your position.
12
You never know who is watching or listening. A seemingly insignificant point, fact, or insight you offer might help someone else in a great way.
13
Stick to the facts. Scientific truths and reason are some of the most convincing tools for planting seeds of doubt in outsiders.
14
Be kind and gentle. You won’t regret it, and you’ll gain much.
I’d like to thank many of you who are my friends, confidants, and allies in this world. Without you, I’d be living a much douchier life. I might come off as a bit of a wanker sometimes, but just like many of you, I’m trying to be better. Thanks for helping!
It is likely that state and federal holidays coincide with my religious practices, thereby having little to no impact on my job and/or education.
02
I can talk openly about my religious practices without concern for how it will be received by others.
03
I can be sure to hear music on the radio and watch specials on television that celebrate the holidays of my religion.
04
When told about the history of civilization, I am can be sure that I am shown people of my religion made it what it is.
05
I can worry about religious privilege without being perceived as “self-interested” or “selfseeking.”
06
I can have a “Jesus is Lord” bumper sticker or Icthus (Christian Fish) on my car and not worry about someone vandalizing my car because of it.
07
I can share my holiday greetings without being fully conscious of how it may impact those who do not celebrate the same holidays. Also, I can be sure that people are knowledgeable about the holidays of my religion and will greet me with the appropriate holiday greeting (e.g., Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, etc.).
08
I can probably assume that there is a universality of religious experience.
09
I can deny Christian Privilege by asserting that all religions are essentially the same.
10
I probably do not need to learn the religious or spiritual customs of others, and I am likely not penalized for not knowing them.
11
I am probably unencumbered by having to explain why I am or am not doing things related to my religious norms on a daily basis.
12
I am likely not judged by the improper actions of others in my religious group.
13
If I wish, I can usually or exclusively be among those from my religious group most of the time (in work, school, or at home).
14
I can assume that my safety, or the safety of my family, will not be put in jeopardy by disclosing my religion to others at work or at school.
15
It is likely that mass media represents my religion widely AND positively.
16
It is likely that I can find items to buy that represent my religious norms and holidays with relative ease (e.g., food, decorations, greeting cards, etc.).
17
I can speak or write about my religion, and even critique other religions, and have these perspectives listened to and published with relative ease and without much fear of reprisal.
18
I could write an article on Christian Privilege without putting my own religion on trial.
19
I can travel without others assuming that I put them at risk because of my religion; nor will my religion put me at risk from others when I travel.
20
I can be financially successful without the assumption from others that this success is connected to my religion.
21
I can protect myself (and my children) from people who may not like me (or them) based on my religion.
22
Law enforcement officials will likely assume I am a non-threatening person if my religion is disclosed to them. In fact, disclosure may actually help law enforcement officials perceive me as being “in the right” or “unbiased.”
23
I can safely assume that any authority figure will generally be someone of my religion.
24
I can talk about my religion, even proselytize, and be characterized as “sharing the word,” instead of imposing my ideas on others.
25
I can be gentle and affirming to people without being characterized as an exception to my religion.
26
I am never asked to speak on behalf of all Christians.
27
My citizenship and immigration status will likely not be questioned, and my background will likely not be investigated, because of my religion.
28
My place of worship is probably not targeted for violence because of sentiment against my religion.
29
I can be sure that my religion will not work against me when seeking medical or legal help.
30
My religion will not cause teachers to pigeonhole me into certain professions based of the assumed “prowess” of my religious group.
31
I will not have my children taken from me from governmental authorities who are aware of my religious affiliation.
32
Disclosure of my religion to an adoption agency will likely not prevent me from being able to adopt children.
33
If I wish to give my children a parochial religious education, I probably have a variety of options nearby.
34
I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence and importance of my religion.
35
I can be sure that when someone in the media is referring to God, they are referring to my (Christian) God.
36
I can easily find academic courses and institutions that give attention only to people of my religion.
37
My religious holidays are so completely “normal” that, in many ways, they may appear to no longer have any religious significance at all.
38
The elected and unelected officials of my government probably are members of my religious group.
39
When swearing an oath, I am probably making this oath by placing my hand on the scripture of my religion.
40
I can openly display my religious symbol(s) on my person or property without fear of disapproval, violence, and/or vandalism.
Schlosser, L. Z. (2003). Christian privilege: Breaking a sacred taboo. Journal of Multicultural Counseling and Development, 31(1), 44-51
A new Symphony of Science was released today! I love this lovely ballad featuring Neil deGrasse Tyson, Brian Cox, and Carolyn Porco. When I listen to this series, I feel a swell of inspiration and excitement about the future of our species. Thank you, science.
P.S. Happy birthday, Carl Sagan! We miss you and your vision and your passion. Thank you for taking our minds and hopes beyond this pale blue dot.
Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
- Carl Sagan
I’m sorry I haven’t been writing actively as of late. I sit here in my chair after a weekend of relaxation, escape, and nature only to find myself back in the machinery of life—the mechanical nature of my habits, my job, and my schedules.
And it makes me ponder a bit. I’ve found myself falling into an apathy related to my atheism lately that I’m not sure should be there. I’ve attempted to explain why atheism isn’t a big deal. Even with the mentality that our non-belief is just fine, normal, and not worth a huge stink, I still feel a smoldering passion within my gut when I consider my own story, my past, and the plight of other non-believers who truly are struggling in their current situations. For instance, I received an email this week from a distressed reader:
Over the past year I have began to question my beliefs that I have had since childhood and I’m down right confused and ridden with guilt mainly… Waiting to be “struck” down I suppose. I am working through it slowly, but being married to a “minister” doesnt help.. again.. riddled with guilt… and fear.
It breaks my heart that the search for truth leaves anyone feeling this way, but it especially pains me to hear it from someone who is afraid to leave religion and faith behind. I know just how conditioned Christians (like my past self) are to fear doubt and deviation from the faith. The guilt is tremendous, and it feels like failure to be going against something you’ve been accepting as an authority all your life. I remember hearing that small voice in my head that told me I was “just rebelling” or “going through a doubting phase” or that I shouldn’t make any certain decisions based on my doubts because I could be punished (for lack of a better word) by God for straying and not being strong enough in my devotion. I recall those emotions with a shudder and a sigh.
No one should feel this way.
It’s becoming more clear to me that I may not care as much about debating theology or commenting about other beliefs I find ridiculous (as fun as that may be—especially on the internet when the quick jab and the snarky wit are king) as others do. Instead, I am coming to deeply care about the journeys and stories of others in the atheist community. Where have we come from, and where are we going? Do we have enough support and friendship to spare for those who are not quite strong enough to go it alone? Can we move forward together? Is my dream of atheist community just a silly, romantic, and futile idea in this period of individualistic living?
So I may not be writing much, but I’m still figuring this whole atheism thing out… day by day. As we all are.
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