and her adventures in Atheism
Posts tagged bible
Fundy Friday: Tower of Babel Edition
Oct 2nd
How could I forget to honor the fantastically fallacious Fundies? Check out these snippets from what I consider an award-winning representation of monumentally stupid anti-evolution hogwash.
If, as evolutionists claim, all of mankind evolved from the SAME primitive life-source, then how did we end up with 7,000 different languages? The Bible teaches that God created all the different languages at Babel… “Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech … Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth” [see Genesis 11:1-9 [show] Now the whole earth had one language and the same words. And as people migrated from the east, they found a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. And they said to one another, "Come, let us make bricks, and burn them thoroughly." And they had brick for stone, and bitumen for mortar. Then they said, "Come, let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be dispersed over the face of the whole earth." And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of man had built. And the LORD said, "Behold, they are one people, and they have all one language, and this is only the beginning of what they will do. And nothing that they propose to do will now be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and there confuse their language, so that they may not understand one another's speech." So the LORD dispersed them from there over the face of all the earth, and they left off building the city. Therefore its name was called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth. And from there the LORD dispersed them over the face of all the earth. (ESV)
]. It is far more reasonable to accept the Biblical claim that God created all of mankind’s different languages; than it is to believe that some space-dust from a massive chaotic explosion somehow became life, and then took on intelligence, and then from the same evolutionary process ended up with 7,000 different languages. That makes no sense at all.
Oh stop it! You’re making my sides hurt! Please tell me again how reasonable it is that every human being on earth had a powwow in a valley somewhere, decided to build a really tall brick building so they could go up to heaven, be famous, and to stay neighbors.
Explain to me how sensible it is that a spirit-man in the sky literally visited to check on their work and got really pissed off that they showed some bricklaying skills. He then decided to keep them from being successful and unified, so he used telekinesis to lift them up, plop them down in other parts of the earth, and then magically changed their languages so they wouldn’t be able to understand one another (or themselves, I imagine). Talk about anti-progress, a bitchy boss, and a serious case of “go sit in the corner and be quiet”.
Oh yeah, that makes a whole lot more sense than gradual change over time.
Read more wtf-i-tude at jesus-is-savior.com.
Stone Me
Apr 23rd
If I was living under Mosaic law today, here are the offenses for which I would be put to death:
Cursing Parents
For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. Leviticus 20:9 [show] For anyone who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother; his blood is upon him. (ESV)
– What can I say? I’ve been angry at them before.
Working on the Sabbath
Whosoever doeth any work in the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Exodus 31:15 [show] Six days shall work be done, but the seventh day is a Sabbath of solemn rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day shall be put to death. (ESV)
– I’m pretty sure I’ve played Pick-Up-Sticks on the Sabbath before 
Premarital Sex (girls only)
. . . If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman’s virginity was not found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house and the men of her town shall stone her to death, Deuteronomy 22:20 [show] But if the thing is true, that evidence of virginity was not found in the young woman, (ESV)
– What if I get hymen replacement surgery so nobody will know? Oooh, sneaky.
Worshipping any god but Yahweh
If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that . . . hath gone and served other gods, and worshiped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; . . .Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die. Deuteronomy 17:2-5 [show] "If there is found among you, within any of your towns that the LORD your God is giving you, a man or woman who does what is evil in the sight of the LORD your God, in transgressing his covenant, and has gone and served other gods and worshiped them, or the sun or the moon or any of the host of heaven, which I have forbidden, and it is told you and you hear of it, then you shall inquire diligently, and if it is true and certain that such an abomination has been done in Israel, then you shall bring out to your gates that man or woman who has done this evil thing, and you shall stone that man or woman to death with stones. (ESV)
– Atheists are totally immune to this. Godless heathens FTW!
Girls who are Raped within the City Limits
If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city . . . But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. Deuteronomy 22:23-25 [show] "If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor's wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
"But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. (ESV)
– On a serious note, I was date raped when I was 18. I wasn’t engaged to be married, but I didn’t cry out for help. Does this mean I would be put to death?
Blasphemers
And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death. Leviticus 24:16 [show] Whoever blasphemes the name of the LORD shall surely be put to death. All the congregation shall stone him. The sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name, shall be put to death. (ESV)
– Oh come on, duh. I’m totally irreverent these days.
Anyone Who Tries to Deconvert Yahweh Worshipers
If anyone secretly entices you–even if it is your brother, your father’s son or your mother’s son, or your own son or daughter, or the wife you embrace, or your most intimate friend–saying, “Let us go worship other gods,” . . . you shall surely kill them; your own hand shall be first against them to execute them. Deuteronomy 12:6 [show] and there you shall bring your burnt offerings and your sacrifices, your tithes and the contribution that you present, your vow offerings, your freewill offerings, and the firstborn of your herd and of your flock. (ESV)
– Does it count if I just try to make them think? Another win for Godless Heathens!
Check out Debunking Christianity for a list of offenses (from which i stole these references) for which you might be stoned. It’s like a sick game of BINGO.
Missionary Dating
Apr 13th
A common Christian teaching is to neither date nor marry someone who is not part of the same religion or denomination as you. The state of being committed to someone of another belief set is usually called “being unequally yoked” (see 2 Cor. 6:14 [show] Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? (ESV)).
When I was a Christian, I dated an agnostic. Even that difference was too great for most ofmy community to accept. But I was determined to stay involved. Not only was I infatuated with this guy, but I held such a high opinion of myself as to think I could change him. My motives were completely wrong: I wanted him to know Jesus and become a Christian so we could be balanced and “equally yoked.” One could call this “missionary dating.” (Yes I use a lot of “air quotes” at “strange” times because I want you to “read” this post with amusing “inflection. Yuk yuk!)
Anyway, I thought his morality was below my own, and my family felt the same. They doubted his honesty, integrity as a man, and never thought it would last. they had bet against him before they even knew his name. I can now admit I felt much the same, although I thought my views were righteous and loving because I was a spirit-filled Christian! I wanted us to be the same, but never once did I consider becoming similar to him by changing who I was.
I’m ashamed of my ulterior motives now, and I am extremely wary of–and almost completely against–dating a committed, active religious person today. I would not be right for them, and they would probably not be a match for me. I can’t say “never,” but I doubt it would happen. Thankfully, I am currently with a non-theist who, although he does not share my vigor and passionate stance, it is comforting to know that neither of us has to change in order to fit the other.
This is what love should be: loving one another without requirements, without expectations for change, and without ulterior motives.
Post Inspired by Friendly Atheist
Loading ...
