and her adventures in Atheism
Posts tagged charismatic
Lies, Damn Lies, and Lunatics: part 2
Nov 22nd
Ohhh yes, my heathen horde, I’m serving up another hot plate of my favorite dish and yours: Christian faith healers.
Check out the other parts in this series: Kerney Thomas and his magic handkerchiefs and coming next, a douche of epic proportions!
A Holy Cage Match
Now that we’ve warmed up, let me introduce Todd Bentley, a man who likes to beat people up and brag about it. This pierced, tattooed, ex-con/druggie is one of my favorite examples of see-through bullshittery.
I dig the tatts and piercings and the “everyman” appeal of his aesthetic, but I cannot stomach some of the tall tales of his godly beatings for Jesus. This man enjoys violence and places God’s stamp of approval on it:
Bentley: “Why Isn’t the power of God moving?”
God: “It’s because you haven’t kicked that woman in the face!”
Bentley: “… And just as my boot made contact with her nose, she fell under the power of God.”
May I be the first to say… No shit, Sherlock!
Caught in a Lie
As I was gleaning video clips for this blog post, I came across a blatant discrepancy in Bentley’s testimonies. I think it illustrates the importance of reliable evidence and how the personal experience of an individual may not be trustworthy, especially when it’s used to elicit an emotional reaction.
Click here to watch both clips side-by-side.
In clip 1 Bentley speaks of a woman whose legs get beaten like a baseball bat on the stage. In clip 2 he’s telling the same story (you can hear the similar lead-in about “crippled people” and “not one”) but this time it’s a small boy whose legs God says to beat on the stage. So which is it, a male or female? I believe these tall tales are fabricated for theatrics and to give the audience a sense of awe and to gain trust before they step up to be healed. Hardly a trustworthy man of God!
Check out the rest of video 2 to hear horrifying and ridiculous tales of slapping grandmothers through doors, clotheslining men who need healing, and more. This man’s glorification of senseless violence in the name of God is truly frightening!
On top of his lies, fabrications, and glorification of violence, this man was also involved in an extramarital affair, left his wife, and married the young woman he cheated with. Sure, normal assholes do this of every creed, but when you claim to have a special relationship with the Almighty and converse regularly and intimately with him… you’d think your moral character might look a little bit less like that of a complete troll.
Tell us what you think of Todd Bentley in the comments!
Lies, Damn Lies, and Lunatics: Part 1
Nov 18th
We atheists have heard the common argument that God gives humans their moral code and without God there can be nothing good accomplished in the world. One could also assume that the closer one gets to God and the more of the Holy Spirit one has inside themselves, the less douchey one must become.
Unfortunately this is not the case.
To illustrate what a few “godly” men do in the name of Jesus, I’m going to profile three of my favorite faith healers. Enjoy them or loathe them--just don’t donate money to them!
If You Yell Loud Enough, It’s Not Bullshit
First up, Kerney Thomas, a man who loves Cosby sweaters and thinks “GAAAWWD” wants you to have a miracle over the phone. His late night call-in show is one long infomercial for magical Blood-O-Jesus handkerchiefs and “prayer packages” (which appear to be nothing but donation envelopes and a form letter).
Thomas is a one-trick pony. When not promoting his good luck charms and “pwayer[sic] packages”, he’s taking calls from the poor, sick, and desperate. After chanting the same nonsense syllables as always (“Ee ko bah sha ta la ta boh ko sha”), clenching his face tightly, and screaming “GAAAWWWD!” a few times, he makes up shit claims miracles for his audience. He asks them to confirm they feel better or that they believe a magical deposit will appear soon into their bank accounts.
My favorite clip of Thomas is also the hardest one to watch. A woman feeling terrible pain in her elbows calls in, begging for help and relief. Watch to see what can happen to those who believe in charlatans and dewoosional faith healers:
If that doesn’t leave you angry, sad, and chuckling, I’m not sure what to do with you.Why this man is on the air blows my mind. His cheap tricks clearly play to the uneducated, desperate, and lonely--yet he asks for their money and encourages his watchers rely on “miracles” instead of practical solutions and help. I’m most concerned for the people who can’t afford to get the proper care. If it was available to them, they would probably not be going to this joker for his babbling and handkerchiefs.
Leave your own thoughts about Kerney Thomas in the comments! Coming up next: a preacher and his fists of fury!
Mass Hysteria
Jul 14th
It was a Wednesday night and I was on the ground, rolling and gasping for air, laughter coming in wave after wave, cramping all my muscles and pushing tears out of the corners of my eyes. I was lost to the world, convulsing in heavy, wheezing laughs. But I hadn’t heard a good joke nor was I tickled; I was “laughing in the Spirit” and this hysteric guffaw continued for over a half hour straight without breaks.
I was only 13 years old and on a mission trip in rural Appalachia with my (very) non-Charismatic church youth group. I was the only student who had a lot of previous experience with the “gifts of the Holy Spirit”, and the last thing I expected was that these gifts would occur during a Presbyterian prayer meeting. Most of the other attendees were just as shocked as I was. In fact, one girl thought my giggle fit was aimed in a mocking way at other children experiencing emotional times of worship. I couldn’t talk plainly enough to answer her, so she grabbed a glass full of milk and poured it on my head. It didn’t help.
I’m not sure if this group fit was suggested, or if one emotional, weeping child led to someone falling over, which lead to speaking in tongues, dancing, and my personal experience with holy laughter. I may have helped the situation along by telling people that it was God’s Spirit leading us and that speaking in tongues and being slain in the Spirit was great.
Was it a chain reaction? Wanting to fit in? Mass hysteria? Supernatural? How can we know?
One thing’s for sure–the grownup leaders at this prayer meeting lost control over every aspect, and it went much too far. By the next day stories of demon visitations, prophesying, and salvation were filtering all around the camp.
Want to see this “Spirit” in action?
The following clip was edited to show the humor in a pentecostal worship service, but it reminded me so much of the contagious nature of those social situations. Just watch as people fall down as if drunk after hearing the pastor speak about the apostles appearing drunk in Acts 2 [show] When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. And divided tongues as of fire appeared to them and rested on each one of them. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance.
Now there were dwelling in Jerusalem Jews, devout men from every nation under heaven. And at this sound the multitude came together, and they were bewildered, because each one was hearing them speak in his own language. And they were amazed and astonished, saying, "Are not all these who are speaking Galileans? And how is it that we hear, each of us in his own native language? Parthians and Medes and Elamites and residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya belonging to Cyrene, and visitors from Rome, both Jews and proselytes, Cretans and Arabians--we hear them telling in our own tongues the mighty works of God." And all were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, "What does this mean?" But others mocking said, "They are filled with new wine."
But Peter, standing with the eleven, lifted up his voice and addressed them: "Men of Judea and all who dwell in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and give ear to my words. For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it is only the third hour of the day. But this is what was uttered through the prophet Joel:
"'And in the last days it shall be, God declares,
that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh,
and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy,
and your young men shall see visions,
and your old men shall dream dreams;
even on my male servants and female servants
in those days I will pour out my Spirit, and they shall prophesy.
And I will show wonders in the heavens above
and signs on the earth below,
blood, and fire, and vapor of smoke;
the sun shall be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood,
before the day of the Lord comes, the great and magnificent day.
And it shall come to pass that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.'
"Men of Israel, hear these words: Jesus of Nazareth, a man attested to you by God with mighty works and wonders and signs that God did through him in your midst, as you yourselves know-- this Jesus, delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God, you crucified and killed by the hands of lawless men. God raised him up, loosing the pangs of death, because it was not possible for him to be held by it. For David says concerning him,
"'I saw the Lord always before me,
for he is at my right hand that I may not be shaken;
therefore my heart was glad, and my tongue rejoiced;
my flesh also will dwell in hope.
For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,
or let your Holy One see corruption.
You have made known to me the paths of life;
you will make me full of gladness with your presence.'
"Brothers, I may say to you with confidence about the patriarch David that he both died and was buried, and his tomb is with us to this day. Being therefore a prophet, and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him that he would set one of his descendants on his throne, he foresaw and spoke about the resurrection of the Christ, that he was not abandoned to Hades, nor did his flesh see corruption. This Jesus God raised up, and of that we all are witnesses. Being therefore exalted at the right hand of God, and having received from the Father the promise of the Holy Spirit, he has poured out this that you yourselves are seeing and hearing. For David did not ascend into the heavens, but he himself says,
"'The Lord said to my Lord,
Sit at my right hand,
until I make your enemies your footstool.'
Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified."
Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, "Brothers, what shall we do?" And Peter said to them, "Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself." And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, "Save yourselves from this crooked generation." So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. (ESV)
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It may be my intuition, but I can look at the faces of many of those audience members and see them thinking about what they’re doing: fake laughter, self-propelled shakes, flailing, and so forth. This is the kind of behavior that makes me shudder and groan nowadays. See for yourself:

Bonus points if you spot Kenneth Copeland!
(hat tip to @achura)





