photo by Ken Fager
I’m sick of assholes. I’d be less colorful in my language, but I also don’t think being censored necessarily leads to a better life. Maybe I should add that to my list.
I’ve penned a few quick tips for how to stop being an idiot who makes life unpleasant for yourself and those around you. Most of this is specifically directed at the atheist/theist community. If it applies to you, you probably won’t think it does, but someone out there might be picturing your face or username right about now, so it pays to give a few of these a whirl just to say you tried. Heck, it might just help us become a better society, and wouldn’t that be just peachy?
“We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.” — Tenzin Gyatso, The 14th Dalai Lama
This is worthy enough for a tattoo on my arm–except that I want to scrub it out of my life. I live this out almost every day. I seem programmed for detailed observation of others, assigning meaning to actions, facial expressions, words, and even silence. I take certain things very seriously and personally even when I shouldn’t. I’ve never had a thick skin, but I’m at least making my thin skin more “elastic” over time. I think that as we grow as adults, we turn off our “give a damn” sensitivity more easily and start shrugging off the things others say and do that used to make us over-react.
Enough about me; what’s your most recent life lesson?
Ah the internet. Such a font of fantastic, novel, and often useless knowledge. One of my favorite sites to read for fun is WikiHow.com. The user-created content there is often worth reading if you need some simple advice on how to handle different situations.
Some of these wiki entries apply directly to secular folks like you and me. Do you have a friend who wants to ask you how your spiritual walk with god is going? Is your brother confronting you at an awkward time about your lack of church attendance? Do you just want to avoid debates on religion all together? Check out this bit of wisdom about how to handle acquaintances, family, or friends when they want to talk about spiritual matters:
How to Avoid Uncomfortable Conversations About Religion
Photo by hovering dog (flickr.com)
from wikiHow
There is a time and place for everything under the sun, including discussions about religion. Whether you are religious or not, if someone is trying to draw you into a conversation, or perhaps an argument, regarding religion or morality but the timing and situation is awkward and uncomfortable, this article will help you find a way to avoid a heated debate as politely as possible.
Steps
- Resist the urge to argue. It’s difficult to overlook a statement that seems completely ignorant and ungrounded, and you’ll likely have the urge to correct the person. Instead, smile and say “Interesting…”
- Meet it head on with honesty. Be true to yourself and your own feelings. Say “I’m not comfortable talking about that and I’m just not willing to have this conversation…”
- Redirect the conversation.
- Ask about their children, significant other, health, or job.
- Make an absurd joke to deflect the seriousness of the situation. For example, try: “Religion? No, I haven’t seen that movie.” Or: “Religion?! What . . . do you get that at, like, Wal-Mart or Starbucks or something?” Or: “No thanks. I haven’t been able to talk about religion since the last time the Cubs won the World Series.”
- Dead pan, “I am sorry. I have a firm rule to not discuss politics or religion with anyone I’ve not seen naked.” That usually ends the discussion rather abruptly, and on a light-hearted note.
- For people who are insistent on discussing religion, however, they’re likely to return to that topic quickly, so keep the conversation flowing at the level of small talk until you can do something else.
What is your temperament? I prefer using the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (the free online versions, anyway) to explain my personality. I used MyPersonality.info to take two quick tests: the Myers-Briggs and the Multiple Intelligences.
I am very much an ENFP. I’ve been that type since the first time I took the test in high school. I love that the type is called The Advocate! Here’s what the site says about me:
ENFPs are introspective, values-oriented, inspiring, social and extremely expressive. They actively send their thoughts and ideas out into the world as a way to bring attention to what they feel to be important, which often has to do with ethics and current events. ENFPs are natural advocates, attracting people to themselves and their cause with excellent people skills, warmth, energy and positivity. ENFPs are described as creative, resourceful, assertive, spontaneous, life-loving, charismatic, passionate and experimental.
I mean, hello? this is why I have a blog about atheism! I also greatly value words, communication, and interaction with others–hence my Intelligences ratings. I think the Musical bit is just because I memorize melodies and lyrics easily and because I often have songs stuck in my head and can hold a tune. I only wish I could play an instrument to make that Intelligence feel less like a sham 
.
What about you? Do you already know what type you are?
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