photo by Paul Kelly
I’m sorry I haven’t been writing actively as of late. I sit here in my chair after a weekend of relaxation, escape, and nature only to find myself back in the machinery of life—the mechanical nature of my habits, my job, and my schedules.
And it makes me ponder a bit. I’ve found myself falling into an apathy related to my atheism lately that I’m not sure should be there. I’ve attempted to explain why atheism isn’t a big deal. Even with the mentality that our non-belief is just fine, normal, and not worth a huge stink, I still feel a smoldering passion within my gut when I consider my own story, my past, and the plight of other non-believers who truly are struggling in their current situations. For instance, I received an email this week from a distressed reader:
Over the past year I have began to question my beliefs that I have had since childhood and I’m down right confused and ridden with guilt mainly… Waiting to be “struck” down I suppose. I am working through it slowly, but being married to a “minister” doesnt help.. again.. riddled with guilt… and fear.
It breaks my heart that the search for truth leaves anyone feeling this way, but it especially pains me to hear it from someone who is afraid to leave religion and faith behind. I know just how conditioned Christians (like my past self) are to fear doubt and deviation from the faith. The guilt is tremendous, and it feels like failure to be going against something you’ve been accepting as an authority all your life. I remember hearing that small voice in my head that told me I was “just rebelling” or “going through a doubting phase” or that I shouldn’t make any certain decisions based on my doubts because I could be punished (for lack of a better word) by God for straying and not being strong enough in my devotion. I recall those emotions with a shudder and a sigh.
No one should feel this way.
It’s becoming more clear to me that I may not care as much about debating theology or commenting about other beliefs I find ridiculous (as fun as that may be—especially on the internet when the quick jab and the snarky wit are king) as others do. Instead, I am coming to deeply care about the journeys and stories of others in the atheist community. Where have we come from, and where are we going? Do we have enough support and friendship to spare for those who are not quite strong enough to go it alone? Can we move forward together? Is my dream of atheist community just a silly, romantic, and futile idea in this period of individualistic living?
So I may not be writing much, but I’m still figuring this whole atheism thing out… day by day. As we all are.
photo by Joe McCarthy
When you meet someone new or are just enjoying discussions with other people, are you ever surprised when you find out they don’t share your views? I keep having this experience! Tonight while at dinner with a group of women, one of them mentioned her pre-teen son being baptized at their church since he just “got saved” and how excited she was. During her story, I kept expecting a punchline—as if she would suddenly laugh and tell a story about going skinny dipping in the baptism dunk tanks. But no, she was totally serious, and nothing’s wrong with that.
It made me wonder: Do we assume the people with whom we get along are going to think the same ways we do? I think I do! For instance, I’m skeptical about the paranormal; I do not believe ghosts exist. A friend of mine gabs constantly about ghost hunting and the supernatural, and all the while I laugh and think she must be joking because, hell, who honestly believes in ghosts? Well, she does. Why am I so surprised? Is it my ego?
I remember feeling this way as a Christian as well; If I met someone who wasn’t a believer, it was like a trip into a different world. They were strange, foreign, and mysterious. How could they not believe in Jesus? Of course, Christianity is so popular that it’s sometimes difficult to find people who openly identify with something else—at least in my area. So why am I walking through life as part of the atheist minority assuming everyone else thinks Satan is silly and God is a figment of our imaginations? I have no idea! I guess I think I’m normal!
photo by Clare & James
How diverse is your circle of friends? Are you surrounded by people of one belief system? Do you ever avoid getting to know people with vastly different opinions and convictions—even without consciously doing so? Why or why not?
I don’t understand why someone would choose to discount an entire group of people because of their belief or non-belief in deities. Unfortunately, I see this happening on both sides of the theism debate.
Read the Rest! Post a comment (51)I want to get to know you better and am eager to try an experiment. Are you up for an excercise in honesty that demands you to say one truthful thing about yourself every single day for one week?
This is my challenge!
Original photo by Lady Vic (flickr.com)
Are you a blogger or journaler? Do you have a youtube channel? Do you have twitter or facebook? It doesn’t matter if you’re an atheist, republican, Canadian, teenager, stay-at-home mom, food blogger, cartoonist, scientist, or anything at all. There are no restrictions on who can participate.
Here’s What to Do
- Write, blog, plurk, tweet, or record one honest moment or thought each day for one week starting whenever you want.
- Be honest and take your time. Say something you may not have said to your audience before. It has to be about you, and it will hopefully be a bit more revealing of who you are than a statement like “I hate Chinese food.” Work with me here! If you’ve had writer’s block like I have, this could help you jump out of it. Use it as a springboard to talk about anything you like!
- When you start the challenge, leave your link below so we can all read it/watch it/fap to it.
- I’d appreciate it if you’d spread the word around so others could take part. You can link to this post and use the image above if you like! Tweet it, share it on facebook, or just keep it simple—your choice!
- There is no closing date, so come back and do it agin anytime!
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