Posts Tagged ‘dating’

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips that Really Work!

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Photo © Steve Rhodes

Photo © Steve Rhodes

Tired of the same old tips about wearing longer skirts and always keeping an eye on your drink? Wish there was something that actually worked? Wonder no more! Here are two lists of fool-proof ways sexual assault can be prevented.

  1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
  2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
  3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
  4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
  5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
  6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
  7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
  8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
  9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
  10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
  11. And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.

(source)

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September 19, 2009  |  randomness, relationships, society, surveys and lists  |  15 Comments

Missionary Dating

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A common Christian teaching is to neither date nor marry someone who is not part of the same religion or denomination as you. The state of being committed to someone of another belief set is usually called “being unequally yoked” (see 2 Cor. 6:14).

When I was a Christian, I dated an agnostic. Even that difference was too great for most of my community to accept. But I was determined to stay involved. Not only was I infatuated with this guy, but I held such a high opinion of myself as to think I could change him. My motives were completely wrong: I wanted him to know Jesus and become a Christian so we could be balanced and “equally yoked.” One could call this “missionary dating.” (Yes I use a lot of “air quotes” at “strange” times because I want you to “read” this post with amusing “inflection. Yuk yuk!)

Anyway, I thought his morality was below my own, and my family felt the same. They doubted his honesty, integrity as a man, and never thought it would last. they had bet against him before they even knew his name. I can now admit I felt much the same, although I thought my views were righteous and loving because I was a spirit-filled Christian! I wanted us to be the same, but never once did I consider becoming similar to him by changing who I was.

I’m ashamed of my ulterior motives now, and I am extremely wary of–and almost completely against–dating a committed, active religious person today. I would not be right for them, and they would probably not be a match for me. I can’t say “never,” but I doubt it would happen. Thankfully, I am currently with a non-theist who, although he does not share my vigor and passionate stance, it is comforting to know that neither of us has to change in order to fit the other.

This is what love should be: loving one another without requirements, without expectations for change, and without ulterior motives.

Post Inspired by Friendly Atheist

April 13, 2009  |  christianity, my past, personal, relationships, religion  |  6 Comments