"Angel of Grief" Glenwood Cemetery, Houston, TX (photo by teejayfaust)
A former coworker of mine just lost his sister to cancer after years of riding the rollercoaster of hope and fear. His love for her inspired me, and it reminded me acutely of what it was like to watch a family member die from the disease.
I have only experienced fresh grief as a Christian. My father died in 2003, and I sought comfort and peace in the hope that he was “in a better place” and free from pain, experiencing the joy and bliss he always desired in life. He was a very passionate believer, and he would always tell me we’d “be together again” when my time was up. I found this to be very soothing and helpful, because I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted more time with him, and I desperately wanted him to be healthy again. I was so fearful of being separated forever. Magical solution? Heaven. Duh.
I’ve never lost a loved one as an atheist, so I honestly can’t speak to what it feels like to say goodbye to someone knowing we will never be together again. I imagine this could be a healthy, helpful way of letting someone go, processing the loss, and moving forward. Is that so?
What matters most to me now is understanding someone’s role in my life and how that helps me be a better person. That way, they live on in me, through me. My father is part of me down to my very DNA. He’s gone, but he has a legacy that affects me and every single person I encounter. I am very fortunate to have had such a great life with him while it lasted. Isn’t that what grief should be about?
What about you?
We can all can talk a good game about how great it is not to be oppressed by the burden of hell, yada yada… but only someone who has actually experienced a loss can talk about what grief is like.
Has anyone out there experienced intense grief as both a faithful religious person and as an atheist? How did your experiences differ on a personal level? Could you share with as much transparency as possible (as you feel comfortable)? Were both healthy experiences? Was one more comforting than another? When someone says “It doesn’t matter if so-and-so has faith in Heaven if it comforts them,” do you agree or disagree?
A print ad promoting peace in India
In my past life, the only causes worth dying for were one’s faith and one’s country. I remember attending a youth conference where a provocative speaker spent an hour telling heart-wrenching stories about Christian persecution around the world and how many believers go to their deaths because they refuse to give in to those who do not give them religious freedom. These stories had a great impact on me at the time. I once considered going on a bible smuggling mission trip to China so I could help people who had to be underground and hidden in order to practice Christianity.
Martyrdom is revered in Christianity very highly, and it’s not hard to find a believer who will say they would gladly die for the cause of Christ. Willingness to die for one’s beliefs is considered an honorable act by most every religion I can think of. Even secular causes (especially in times of political upheaval) can bring about this drastic act of devotion.
I do not think martyrdom—whether modern or throughout history—proves anything about the claims these people made or the beliefs they held. More death does not equal more truth. I do not think that the more one suffers for those claims, the more glorious and righteous one is.
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I may have been the only atheist who didn’t know that September 20th was supposedly “Everyone Pray for (Christopher) Hitchens Day.” Ever since he was diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus, his illness and his attitude about it have been widely publicized and examined. I’m sure many congregations, groups, and individuals murmured prayers for the healing and salvation of one of the most outspoken and unequivocal atheists of our time.
In response to people praying for him, Hitchens has made it clear that he:
- Doesn’t mind if they pray for his healing if it makes them feel better.
- Doesn’t want anyone praying for his salvation or demise.
Looking for Results
So, the 20th has passed, and I’m wondering if these millions of prayers for the healing of Mr. Hitchens have made any impact at all. Christians of all stripes are firm believers in the power prayer can have on the life of another, even to the point of miraculous healings, conversions, and so forth. So, is he healed? Does he suddenly believe in a god? Which god? I’m sure people of many religions prayed to their gods for him. How would anyone be able to tell which one decided to act? What if all the gods teamed up together?
If Hitchens is not healed, converted, or shown any form of “improvement” in his situation, what sorts of excuses and rationalizations might be made to explain it? I can think of a few that I as a Christian might have used:
- It wasn’t God’s will. He has a bigger plan that involves a terrible cancer and a painful death.
- Hitchens has to have faith that he will be healed before it will work (aka “blame the victim”).
- God doesn’t want to heal him.
- And one I wouldn’t have used: Cancer is a punishment for his sin against God.
As an aside on this last point, Hitchens quotes a man who believes exactly that:
Who else feels Christopher Hitchens getting terminal throat cancer [sic] was God’s revenge for him using his voice to blaspheme him? Atheists like to ignore FACTS. They like to act like everything is a “coincidence”. Really? It’s just a “coincidence” [that] out of any part of his body, Christopher Hitchens got cancer in the one part of his body he used for blasphemy? Yea, keep believing that Atheists. He’s going to writhe in agony and pain and wither away to nothing and then die a horrible agonizing death, and THEN comes the real fun, when he’s sent to HELLFIRE forever to be tortured and set afire.
I can’t say this surprises me. But most of the Christians I’ve talked to or read on the subject have expressed their hopes for Christopher Hitchens’ conversion and healing so that it would be a great sign to the world of how loving and powerful Yahweh truly is, and how much impact prayer can make.
So far as I know, even these millions of genuine prayers have done nothing to impact the life of Hitchens. Perhaps there is nothing to be done since there is no one to hear their prayers except themselves. That’s my belief, anyway.
Have you ever seen those Scientology commercials on television that engage the viewer on a personal, emotional level? Well, it makes just as much sense to have a version just for Atheists. The following commercial was edited and narrated by Orley R. Herron, Ph.D. You can watch two more commercials on his youtube channel. I hope these commercials stay online. We all know how cranky the Church of Scientology can get.
First off, let me give some credit where credit is due. Most of the video from this piece comes from a trio of Scientology commercials. While I obviously don’t agree with pretty much everything that they stand for, they do make some very beautiful commercials. The song in the background is “Mercury” by John Murphy off the soundtrack for the movie Sunshine (great movie).
In my opinion, religion is a direct result of our sentience as a species. Because we are aware of our existence, we are rightfully afraid of our impending nonexistence. As a result, religion exists because of the inherent difficulty related to accepting the concept of death. We all love life. The idea of one day not existing is scary, and for some people, impossible to accept. So, what do these people do? They just don’t accept it. They invent or choose to believe in some kind of afterlife, and then they craft a story (religion) around that afterlife to make it believable.
I think we’ve reached the point in our development as a species when we can accept the concept of death. Its time to kick the religion habit. Because religions are no longer adapting to the progress society is achieving, the problems are only going to get worse.
Read more about the video’s purpose here [EDITED: link broken]. I think the footage he used is beautiful, but I think this concept is too important for borrowed sources. I’d love to see a real commercial on this topic. Think of the discussions (and uproar, of course) it would raise.
(hat tip to @Marcham89)
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