I recently tweeted:
“I want to be a card-carrying Atheist. Maybe I should make my own cards…”
And Jim of How good is that? responded with a great interpretation that we can all download for free and keep in our wallets.
I love this idea, and I think you should check it out!
Speaking of which, what sorts of end-of-life wishes have you laid out? Do your loved ones know? Are they legally binding or simply verbal?
Remember all those posts about God being a douchebag? I’ve been discussing God with a friend of mine who suggested the following argument (which I will probably muddle, since I’m summarizing from memory). I’d love to hear your responses!
So what if God is an asshole? Even if God did order the slaughter of humans in the Old Testament, condone slavery, and send souls to everlasting torture in hell… that’s totally within his rights! After all, if this truly is an infinite being in size, power, and so forth, God is not subject to the morality he gave humankind. Nor does it truly matter if we live or die because we’re just specks–less than specks–to his infinite All. Our souls are like eternal beings; the body doesn’t matter if it’s all about eternity, so the suffering we feel on earth and the resentment for experiencing it is meaningless in the face of the eternal life of the soul and the ultimate power and all-knowing will of God.
I may have sped through her ideas, but do you get the gist of what she’s saying? And what would you say in response to this sort of argument? Does God get a free pass because he’s just so damn big? Should we really have a problem with an all-powerful deity that does whatever it wants with its creation?
If I was living under Mosaic law today, here are the offenses for which I would be put to death:
Cursing Parents
For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. Leviticus 20:9
– What can I say? I’ve been angry at them before.
Working on the Sabbath
Whosoever doeth any work in the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death. Exodus 31:15
– I’m pretty sure I’ve played Pick-Up-Sticks on the Sabbath before 
Premarital Sex (girls only)
. . . If, however, this charge is true, that evidence of the young woman’s virginity was not found, then they shall bring the young woman out to the entrance of her father’s house and the men of her town shall stone her to death, Deuteronomy 22:20
– What if I get hymen replacement surgery so nobody will know? Oooh, sneaky.
Worshipping any god but Yahweh
If there be found among you, within any of thy gates which the LORD thy God giveth thee, man or woman, that . . . hath gone and served other gods, and worshiped them, either the sun, or moon, or any of the host of heaven, which I have not commanded; . . .Then shalt thou bring forth that man or that woman, which have committed that wicked thing, unto thy gates, even that man or that woman, and shalt stone them with stones, till they die. Deuteronomy 17:2-5
– Atheists are totally immune to this. Godless heathens FTW!
Girls who are Raped within the City Limits
If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl, because she did not cry out in the city . . . But if in the field the man finds the girl who is engaged, and the man forces her and lies with her, then only the man who lies with her shall die. Deuteronomy 22:23-25
– On a serious note, I was date raped when I was 18. I wasn’t engaged to be married, but I didn’t cry out for help. Does this mean I would be put to death?
Blasphemers
And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth the name of the Lord, shall be put to death. Leviticus 24:16
– Oh come on, duh. I’m totally irreverent these days.
Anyone Who Tries to Deconvert Yahweh Worshipers
If anyone secretly entices you–even if it is your brother, your father’s son or your mother’s son, or your own son or daughter, or the wife you embrace, or your most intimate friend–saying, “Let us go worship other gods,” . . . you shall surely kill them; your own hand shall be first against them to execute them. Deuteronomy 12:6
– Does it count if I just try to make them think? Another win for Godless Heathens!
Check out Debunking Christianity for a list of offenses (from which i stole these references) for which you might be stoned. It’s like a sick game of BINGO.
I’m heading to bed for the night, and I thought I’d leave you with my revised version of a classic children’s prayer from the 18th century:
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Or toss and turn while counting sheep.
If I die before I wake
The funeral should have milkshakes.
Sweet dreams!
Meghan on 
LeetheGirl on 
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