Posts Tagged ‘etsy’

Alternate Use for the Bible

Is church so boring that you need to liven it up with a bit of booze?
Think you’ll grow intimately with the lord with a little liquor in you?
Does the thought of reciting one more “Our Father” drive you to drink?

Have I got the solution for you!

The Hollow Book Flask Safe
$50.00 from SecretSafeBooks on Etsy.com

Bible Flask Safe on Etsy.com

Bible Flask Safe on Etsy.com

The way of salvation…nah.
Comfort in time of loneliness? Nope.
ALCOHOL! Yes! Cheers, mate!

“Help in time of need” indeed!

June 14, 2010  |  funny, randomness, the bible  |  13 Comments

Jesus in a Fish Head

As we all know, people can find god in all kinds of empty spaces. This time it’s a catfish head. And it’s for sale! Check it out! Morbid death scene in skull form! I don’t think I can top this unless I find a draw-and-quarter scene in my cheerios.

This poem is so classic:

Of all the fishes in the sea,
our Lord chose the lowly sailcat
to remind us of his misery.

His body on the cross is outlined,
the hilt of the sword
which was plunged into his side
is clearly defined.

Look at the back of the fishes bone
where the Roman shield is shown.
When you shake the cross
you will hear the dice being tossed
for our Lord’s blood stained dress
Those who can hear them
– will be blessed.
-Conrad S. Lantz

Thank you for that gory rhyme, Connie. It really makes me want to pick up a fish skull and shake it like a salt shaker.

July 11, 2009  |  funny, Jesus, randomness  |  12 Comments