"Angel of Grief" Glenwood Cemetery, Houston, TX (photo by teejayfaust)
A former coworker of mine just lost his sister to cancer after years of riding the rollercoaster of hope and fear. His love for her inspired me, and it reminded me acutely of what it was like to watch a family member die from the disease.
I have only experienced fresh grief as a Christian. My father died in 2003, and I sought comfort and peace in the hope that he was “in a better place” and free from pain, experiencing the joy and bliss he always desired in life. He was a very passionate believer, and he would always tell me we’d “be together again” when my time was up. I found this to be very soothing and helpful, because I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted more time with him, and I desperately wanted him to be healthy again. I was so fearful of being separated forever. Magical solution? Heaven. Duh.
I’ve never lost a loved one as an atheist, so I honestly can’t speak to what it feels like to say goodbye to someone knowing we will never be together again. I imagine this could be a healthy, helpful way of letting someone go, processing the loss, and moving forward. Is that so?
What matters most to me now is understanding someone’s role in my life and how that helps me be a better person. That way, they live on in me, through me. My father is part of me down to my very DNA. He’s gone, but he has a legacy that affects me and every single person I encounter. I am very fortunate to have had such a great life with him while it lasted. Isn’t that what grief should be about?
What about you?
We can all can talk a good game about how great it is not to be oppressed by the burden of hell, yada yada… but only someone who has actually experienced a loss can talk about what grief is like.
Has anyone out there experienced intense grief as both a faithful religious person and as an atheist? How did your experiences differ on a personal level? Could you share with as much transparency as possible (as you feel comfortable)? Were both healthy experiences? Was one more comforting than another? When someone says “It doesn’t matter if so-and-so has faith in Heaven if it comforts them,” do you agree or disagree?
graphic by James Ellis
I follow the hashtag #atheism on twitter in order to keep abreast on what people are saying about religion and other controversial subjects. Often the content contains thoughtful discussion or bits of news that interests me, but much of it resembles typical “zinger” one-liner material: pithy 140-character messages that resemble confrontational bumper stickers instead of well-balanced arguments against religion. Yeah, I’ve done it too. I admit it! Twitter is the safe-haven of the verbal jab.
I spotted one such “zinger” today:
Without faith there could be no genocide, no racism, no bigotry; faith breeds evil. #christian #jesus #bible #god #atheism #islam #muslim
-@FlyingFree333 (Flying Free), 29-4-2011 13:30:22
I’ve certainly heard this hyperbolic argument before, and as an atheist I do not agree. I realize you cannot easily present a reasoned argument for an enormous claim like this on twitter, but even if there were paragraphs of explanation behind it I’m not sure I would ever be convinced that the sole reason for racism, bigotry, and genocide is faith. To avoid an argument about vocabulary; “faith,” could easily be replaced by “religion.”
I am far from being an expert, but I think there are sociological, psychological, and economic causes unrelated to religion that cause these problems in the world. Religion is certainly used to justify many horrible actions such as genocide (e.g. Deuteronomy 20:16-18) and slavery (e.g. the Curse of Ham). However, I do not think all religions or faiths bring about these results, nor do I think ruling out other causes for the evil in the world is wise.
I’d really like to have a discussion about this claim. Is faith the cause of genocide, racism, and bigotry?
And as a side question: What do you think about these kinds of pithy statements on twitter? Do you think they help anything or perhaps give atheists a bad name?
Photo by Österreichisches Weltraum Forum
Have you ever heard these common reactions to atheism?
You can’t be an atheist. How can you believe in nothing? Everybody believes in something. Maybe you’re an agnostic and you’ll figure it out one day. You’re just going through a stage. Your life must feel so empty and lonely.
I came across a popular objection today in the midst of an online conversation about how it’s more acceptable for atheists to bash religious people and call them names than for a Christian to talk the same way about atheists. Feel free to comment about this as well; I’m curious if you think it’s true in an online context.
Christian: I just think that it’s important that you believe in something bigger than you. God, Allah, the stars in the sky – believe in something so that you don’t feel alone in this world.
Me: Why do you think atheists are lonely?
Christian: Not lonely, but just with the few atheists who have bothered to sit with me & actually talk about it, they have told me that they think that there is nothing. Just people and then nothing. I haven’t done research or anything like that, just going off what I have been told. [My boyfriend's] best friend is a very loud atheist. He’s very open that he thinks there’s nothing bigger out there and that when we die, there’s just nothing.
Me: Interesting. I agree that after death there is nothing, but I like that. I also believe in bigger things like, you know, the greatness of community, love, humanity, etc. Also the wonder of reality without the supernatural. Why look for something imaginary when you can have the glory of the universe? So there you go—an atheist who isn’t alone, hopeless, nor lacking.
How would you respond?
You guys! I found an atheist book on the Free Shelf at work today! *Dances a jig with jazz hands*
John W. Loftus, author of one of my favorite blogs, Debunking Christianity, and the book Why I Became an Atheist, has edited a collection of articles critiquing the claims of Christianity. The Christian Delusion: Why Faith Fails is shooting to the top of my to-read list!
Non-fiction—especially concerning subjects about which I am passionate—makes me yearn for an Amazon Kindle or similar device with which I could make highlights and notes about certain passages to remember for later. I revere printed books too much to write all over them; I even hate writing in pretty journals because I don’t want to sully them with my chicken scratch handwriting. A book about atheism, science, and faith is certainly going to stir up many ideas, and I would love to store those light bulbs of inspiration somewhere. Ah well; it’s on my wishlist 
for shitsn’giggles, here’s a not-so-intellectual book I also grabbed off the Free Shelf that’s sure to make you chuckle.
What books are you reading right now that I should add to my list?
Olin Thang on 
Cortez Frisch on 
Loading ...