"Angel of Grief" Glenwood Cemetery, Houston, TX (photo by teejayfaust)
A former coworker of mine just lost his sister to cancer after years of riding the rollercoaster of hope and fear. His love for her inspired me, and it reminded me acutely of what it was like to watch a family member die from the disease.
I have only experienced fresh grief as a Christian. My father died in 2003, and I sought comfort and peace in the hope that he was “in a better place” and free from pain, experiencing the joy and bliss he always desired in life. He was a very passionate believer, and he would always tell me we’d “be together again” when my time was up. I found this to be very soothing and helpful, because I didn’t want to let him go. I wanted more time with him, and I desperately wanted him to be healthy again. I was so fearful of being separated forever. Magical solution? Heaven. Duh.
I’ve never lost a loved one as an atheist, so I honestly can’t speak to what it feels like to say goodbye to someone knowing we will never be together again. I imagine this could be a healthy, helpful way of letting someone go, processing the loss, and moving forward. Is that so?
What matters most to me now is understanding someone’s role in my life and how that helps me be a better person. That way, they live on in me, through me. My father is part of me down to my very DNA. He’s gone, but he has a legacy that affects me and every single person I encounter. I am very fortunate to have had such a great life with him while it lasted. Isn’t that what grief should be about?
What about you?
We can all can talk a good game about how great it is not to be oppressed by the burden of hell, yada yada… but only someone who has actually experienced a loss can talk about what grief is like.
Has anyone out there experienced intense grief as both a faithful religious person and as an atheist? How did your experiences differ on a personal level? Could you share with as much transparency as possible (as you feel comfortable)? Were both healthy experiences? Was one more comforting than another? When someone says “It doesn’t matter if so-and-so has faith in Heaven if it comforts them,” do you agree or disagree?
Comedians … and usually only comedians. The rest of us need to be polite and respectful of other beliefs—or so I’m told.
Here’s a hilarious gem from David Cross of Arrested Development fame. If I could see a live routine, I’d be in heaven (riding in the back of my hot pink Hummer limo with St. Michael acting as my chauffeur).
Hat Tip: The Good Atheist
What do you think about Near Death Experiences (NDE)? I’m extremely skeptical. Did a young boy see streets of gold, get serenaded by angels, sit in Jesus’ lap, and meet up with dead relatives while in Heaven? Did he find out about his mother’s miscarriage or see moments of Armageddon without ever hearing about them before?
And did God prove himself to be true by giving the family a book publishing deal?
Over time his visions became more believable. He described Jesus, and he even talked about Armageddon and how God told him his father would fight in the final battle. Although Todd was a pastor, he says he never talked detail like this with his preschool aged son.
How interesting that the visions this boy saw are exactly like the phrases used in the Bible. I don’t think that means the Bible is true; I think it means that a pastor’s son who was raised in Biblical teaching and who heard his father preach may have known about “streets of gold” and “Armageddon” before magically seeing them during a hospital stay. I’m not even sure a child would use phrases like “streets of gold” without hearing it before. Who says “streets of asphalt?”
What do you think?
salvation in stick figures!
A commenter on my post about Sexism in the Bible slipped this into her comment:
God is good and just. It’s not what nonbeliever [sic] consider just. Their just [sic] is more to satisfy themselves. Really think about it, it is.
I hate to start out with an “Am not!” “Are too!” routine, but I just can’t help myself. I would like to hear examples about how secular justice is selfish. Most of the accusations from Christians state that atheists don’t believe in God because we’re sin addicts and can’t handle being accountable for our actions. Not only is this insulting and ignorant, but also delightfully ironic!
Selfishness and Consequences
I propose that God’s “justice” is extremely selfish and perfectly illustrates the desire to not be accountable for one’s actions. Not only that, but hey, it’s ridiculous. How “just” and “good” is it that someone is able to wreak any amount of pain, harm, havoc, or evil upon the earth and their fellow humans, apologize for it and feel regret, and then instantly be free of any consequences for that action? It may be nice, but it’s not justice.
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