Enjoy today’s assortment! Spread some laughter around today
Check out my previous post on nutty religious comic strips.
God’s Computer
(source)
More tooooooons after the cut
Read the Rest! Post a comment (1)Well fuck that then. I’m not going! At least they serve bacon in hell and say “Grape Nuts” correctly.
Christians declare God’s perfect justice (Zephaniah 3:5; Psalm 37:28; 2 Thess 1:6-9). But how does God measure up against the imperfect American justice system?
YHWH’s Justice
You are guilty until proven innocent. The laws you are supposed to follow were collected over time thousands of years ago in another culture, but you’re screwed because the laws can’t be amended, reviewed, or doubted. You were born guilty–deserving eternal torture and punishment for something you cannot control. The only way for you to be saved from this terrible pain and suffering is for the judge to kill an innocent person instead of the guilty one. But don’t worry, the innocent guy only stays dead for three days, so it’s only a really bad weekend.
American Justice
You are innocent until proven guilty. The laws you have to follow are agreed upon by your local/state/federal governments instead of just one person; if there is confusion, there will be a final word on what’s okay or not okay to do. Revisions are also possible for the betterment of society. If falsely accused for a crime you did not commit, you can appeal to a higher court. You have a right to be judged by a jury of your peers. You cannot be prosecuted for thought crime. Punishments are not eternal, and only the criminals are punished for their own actions.
P.S. I admit, we all know the American justice system is a bit messy; but its ideals are still better than the theocratic alternative. Oh, and if you’re not American, I’m pretty sure your scenario would be very similar. That is, unless you’re from North Korea.
A conversation on a Christian message board reads as follows:
Woman A: so you think [the verses about rewards in Heaven are] literal? I find a majority of the bible references are to give people an idea of what heaven will be like…. not to actually describe it. Honestly, if that’s what it is about, I’m not interested in “storing up riches in heaven” because riches mean squat to me. Not interested at all.
Woman B: Yes, I think it is literal, but also very much spiritual. Those who have given much will receive greater honor. … I believe that there are degrees of reward in heaven. Not everyone who goes to heaven will receive the same reward.
Those who make a last minute decision for Christ will have basic salvation, a gown but not a robe of righteousness, no crowns, no authority, no houses and lands. Saddest of all, they will have missed the opportunity to bring others to Christ–their children and families, their friends and fellow co-workers. Nor will they ever hear Christ say, “Well done, My good and faithful servant.”
[Click here to read the verses she quotes to illustrate]
Isn’t it funny how some Christians believe the descriptions of Heaven in the Bible are literal, but still claim that (in order for God to be exempt from the natural laws and rules he places upon us, and in order to be supremely powerful and the cause of all creation) God and his realm are “outside of space and time”? If heaven existed and it were outside of the universe, there would be no physical senses, no gold, no houses, no crowns, no sequence of events, no perception of progression, and no concept of “the past” or “the future” at all.
Someone more knowledgeable than myself should explain this, but in my understanding, something outside of spacetime–or in a higher dimension–cannot possibly be understood in terms we use here inside the spacetime 3-and-4-dimensional universe. Yet the descriptions of God and his dwelling place are communicated in ways that can only be understood to us here, now, in our current dimensions. The verses and teachings about literal sensations, events, and objects are still believed. Why take these words from the Bible literally? Those streets of gold and beautiful mansions won’t exist as we imagine them because they can’t if they’re outside of the known universe. Even if an afterlife does exist, we could never hope to know about it or understand what happens there.
It’s clear to me that these buzzwords and Christian aphorisms that are thrown around casually are not at all understood by the common layperson. Heck, I can barely scratch the surface myself. Sine my words and thoughts can’t communicate this concept very well, I want to show you a video about dimensions that really bends my noggin. Hope you love it too! This guy is the shit, and I want to have his MENSA babies.


