Godless Girl

… and her adventures in Atheism

Posts Tagged kids

Child Preachers

May 5

Posted by Godless Girl in christianity, religion, videos | 18 Comments

As I grew up I became  a very good performer when it came to preaching a message, sharing my testimony, or revealing an insight from the “holy spirit.”

Do you want to see just how early indoctrination, training, and exposure to the mannerisms, cultures, and languages of religion starts? Check this out:

Wow, what do you think? Also check out an ABC News piece on the child preacher phenomenon.

Children are amazing imitators–frighteningly so. Notice how culturally-specific these emotional, “spirit-filled” sermons are? It’s a performance. That’s what preaching and prophesying and praying aloud in public are all about. Who could honestly say that while they are in front of a group they didn’t care at all about if the audience liked it or if they did a good job? I tried not to think about those things as a Christian, but I couldn’t help it–especially as a young person who most wants love, attention, and affirmation.

What most recognizable in the videos are the styles of preaching, but what’s even more important is the content of what they say. Do you think children teach Bible lessons that don’t conform to the beliefs of their own church or group? I doubt it. Do you think these kids can understand the serious doctrines and theologies they’re shouting about? I doubt many adults actually understand what they preach, much less a child who hasn’t developed critical thinking nor been educated.

Sigh.

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Why I’m Childfree

Apr 24

Posted by Godless Girl in personal, relationships, society | 84 Comments

Photo by Mohammad R. Riza (flickr)

There are many people who believe that being childfree (or better yet, “childless by choice”) is a negative trait, especially for a woman. Because I have the body parts and natural cycles that evolution has given to human females, the assumption is that I would desire children and be willing to have them should I “find the right man” or “feel my clock ticking.”

Not having kids is also seen as something to pity. Others who have children know what it’s like to feel that intense love bond between family members and they enjoy raising up the next generation. That’s all puppies and rainbows if that’s what you choose for your life. Many people like myself do not want that for our futures, and we know it is our right to choose and not be pitied or accused of being selfish or ignorant.

Why I’m Childfree

I don’t want kids.

That’s the gist of it, folks. No deep answers from me or essays justifying my desires and my dreams. I don’t need to make excuses. I’m delighted with my choice to not have children! I’ll miss out on some great experiences parents have, but I’ll be an available friend or relative to support them. I’ll gain the benefits of being an adult without such a lifelong responsibility: I’ll have more money, more ability to be flexible and involved in my hobbies and goals, and I won’t lack love, friendship, or joy.

Check out more reasons why people choose a childfree lifestyle.

If You Have a Childfree Friend or Family Member

If you adore kids and want them in your life, I applaud you and thank you. That’s a wonderful life profession that takes serious work and commitment. I am so glad you are in our society. Please do a good job.

Since we disagree on this important issue, it might help you to know what sorts of words or arguments are commonly used that do not help childfree individuals feel loved, understood, nor supported.

Avoid these common phrases or arguments:

  • You’re not a fulfilled woman without the experience of having children. [Not only would you sting the childless by choice with this arrogant and ignorant attitude, but also the infertile and single.]
  • Even if you don’t want them now, you’ll want them later.
  • When you meet the right guy, you’ll want to start a family with him because that’s the evidence of true love and unity.
  • Having children and creating a family is the highest calling of a couple. It’s for the greater good.
  • We’re biologically designed to reproduce; why fight it?
  • It’s what God wants. [I recommend skipping the god-talk all together, especially with seculars like myself. Talk to us in our own language.]
  • But you’d be a great parent! [Being a good person and able to take care of and love someone else does not mean they must procreate.]
  • I was just like you before! [I'm sure you were childless and happy once. Good for you. We're happy to stay there and that's fine for us.]
  • You just don’t understand. [This is so insulting.]

Above all things, do not belittle or invalidate a childfree person. It is a sign that you are not truly listening to what they have to say nor respecting how they feel.

Why Are Childfree People Mean?

We’re not!

Okay, some people are douchebags, but you can find those anywhere.

Here’s a video of typical responses from mothers about being childfree by choice. These ladies are mostly arguing against the angry, bitter population of childfree choicers on the internet, and hot damn, they are not kidding. I’ve read the thoughts, rants, and views of the “militants”, and they offend and annoy me too!

I consider myself a moderate person who supports everyone’s right to choose and encourages families to succeed and children to grow up happy and well. I don’t hate children or think parents are evil. These are extremes. Let’s not go to extremes. There is no need to be nasty and unkind to parents because you do not have something in common with them.

Kids in My Future

Am I always going to be childless by choice? I don’t know. Just like I’m open to new evidence for deities and other mysteries, I am also open to changing my mind about having children. It is a tiny opening, but I’m willing to re-consider my opinions. I don’t foresee a change happening soon (or ever), nor think that my currently non-existent maternal instinct will suddenly kick in when I meet a certain man or turn 35.

This admission of a possibility does not mean I secretly want kids or that I’m just spending a few years having fun before I “settle down”.  It means I am not  bull-headed enough to say “never”.

To My Fellow Childfree Friends

If you also feel pressured by family, friends, or culture to do things just because of preconceived notions of “how it’s done”–guess what!–You’re not alone!

If your mother wants grandchildren, that’s her issue, not yours. If your best friend has three kids and can’t stop talking about how they’re the best thing to ever happen to her, be glad for her but also share and relish what is joyous and fulfilling in your life. Embrace your freedom and your personal decisions. Follow your dreams, and don’t be trapped by society’s expectations.

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Game Show Host Kisses Young Girls

Apr 15

Posted by Godless Girl in relationships, society, videos | 37 Comments

A Canadian game show called Just Like Mom aired from 1980-1985. Fergie Olver [whose name I kept misspelling, which is now fixed] and his wife Catherine Swing co-hosted the show for 4 of those years. Mr. Olver seemed to have a little obsession with affection, and a viewer caught on to that trend and edited the video you’ll see below. This is what it can look like when an adult is showing inappropriate sexual attention to a child.Oliv

I’m neither a psychologist nor expert on these issues, but I’d like to share my interpretations and thoughts about what’s going on here:

The Mothers

Why don’t the mothers do anything about Fergie Olver’s behavior? They’re sitting right next to their daughters who are being pressured into giving out kisses to a middle aged man. I think they hold back out of embarrassment or fear. If they say something, it’s on television in front of an audience that wants lighthearted entertainment. The producers and director would be angry for the disruption. They’d draw attention to themselves. Maybe it’s not a big deal, they might think. This is just funny and non-threatening.

  • Can someone who was the age of those children or older tell me what affection with strangers or family friends was like back then? Was it more socially acceptable?

The Audience

Is it nervous laughter we hear in the background, or is it truly amused chortles? It bothers me to hear little snippets of cheering when a girl finally gives in to the pressure.

The Host

Fergie Olver uses a light, playful tone of voice when talking to the girls. He showers them with compliments and asks about their personal life–even the dating practices of one girl. He uses his body to get very close, covering their personal space with his arm around the back of the chair and his head stooped low to make eye contact. He moves closer and tricks the girls into bringing their faces up before stealing a peck on the cheek or even the lips.

When a girl refuses or acts nervous, Olver either goes for the kiss anyway and ignores their feelings, or he tries to persuade them; he even tells Alison (0:46) with a whisper in her ear that if she gives him a kiss, she’ll win the show. When she refuses, he warns her of the consequences.  What do we call coersion of a sexual nature? That’s right kids: sexual harrassment.

What. A. Fucking. Skeezebag. I wonder what Olver’s wife thought of his sexual miscunduct on the show? What was he like in private when the cameras weren’t rolling?

The Kids

Who’s my favorite kid? Alison (0:46) who says clearly that she does not give out hugs and kisses freely and that no she will not give him one even when he asks repeatedly. Alison’s mom calls him a “dirty old man” after he tries to bribe Alison. That’s the one piece of honest observation we get to see in this video, and I don’t feel that anythiing is amusing or wrong about her saying what everyone should have been thinking.

The girls’ body language should say enough: We see two of the girls physically move away from Olver when he goes in for the kiss. They’re startled, frightened, and uncomfortable. That is called unwanted sexual touching.

How did this douchebag get away with such flagrant behavior? Have we simply grown more aware of the dangers of that sort of attention than we were back then? What do you think of these clips?

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Been there, done that, soaked my t-shirt

Aug 10

Posted by Godless Girl in randomness, videos | 5 Comments

There are certain things I think every child does at camp. One of them is to simulate a rain storm using only your body. All at once, the group starts out brushing their palms together, swishing like a gentle drizzle. Then they transition gradually into snapping fingers (light rain), then clapping hands (a shower) and then smacking flat palms against thighs, crescendoing into a downpour.

So when I see this video on Today’s Big Thing, I really had to wonder… did none of these people (or anyone in the audience) ever go to camp? I guess the lighting effects and reverberating “thunder” make this especially grown-up. Even so, I think my day camp could have taken them on anytime.

Enjoy the rain!

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