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I can’t believe I’m saying this: I watched Oprah tonight, and it connected with me.
I can be sarcastic or silly about my usual opinions towards Oprah Winfrey’s TV talk show, but instead I need to write out my thoughts before I push them aside in favor of something more numbing, more comfortable. The show’s topic–our relationships with food and what it means on a deeper level–is a springboard into the deep end of a pool so uncomfortable for me that I threw away my bathing suit and drained the water. I don’t even want to go near this topic on a serious level because of how it makes me feel.
But I’m going to anyway.I consider this post just for me and my reflection, but I wanted it public in case someone else knows what this is like.
Tonight’s episode of Oprah featured author Geneen Roth and her newest book Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. I know, I know–it says “God” and because of that I’m supposed to wail and snark about how silly that is. Well I say forget it! “God” as it is called in the title, is speaking about the deep awe in a “bigger life” and connection we feel that goes beyond the cares of our daily grind. And as a secular person, even I can get behind that. I know how it feels to be content in the moment, amazed, and fulfilled. That’s what Roth is calling “god”.
Women Food and God is about addressing the deeper reasons why women (and men) reach for food when they’re not hungry, and what those actions reveal about our core beliefs about ourselves. This is the topic I threw away a swimsuit to avoid.
My Relationship with Food
Right before I started on this post, I crumpled up some used fast food wrappers I’d left on my desk after dinner and stuffed a finished two litre bottle of Pepsi (the sugary kind which I don’t like, but I drank “for the team” to get it out of the house) in the recycling bin. This is a perfect illustration of my worst eating habits.
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Photo by nicksushkevich (flickr.com)
One of my friends on plurk sent out this quote:
Let your desire for pleasure and your desire for feeling good be your only guiding light.
So far, I’m the only one who has reacted negatively to the message, and I suppose I’m not surprised. I take a lot of things seriously, and I’m not exactly a wild and crazy free spirit. Hedonism has always prompted an inner dissonance for me, and I’m trying to get to the bottom of why. I wonder if I’m an outlier in the secular community. Perhaps I’m missing the mark.
What is Hedonism?
Hedonism is an ethical system that stems from this truth: people are motivated primarily by the production of pleasure and happiness and the avoidance of pain. It argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good. I agree that we humans do in fact desire our own happiness so strongly that it can outweigh most other impulses or values.
What bothers me? Selfishness and a lack of compassion. Hedonism strikes me as ultimately self-serving and love-less. When a person embraces his or her passions and vices to the detriment of another’s wellbeing or the social good, then I lose respect for that individual. Hell, I even lose respect for myself when I seek my own happiness and comfort over that of another person. I admire those who seek the greater good and the contentment and peace of the group over their own pleasure; I wish I could say I acted this way more often.
Living a hedonistic lifestyle may not be the best choice for imbalanced individuals. Should a pedophile seek pleasure and happiness even though sexual satisfaction is at the expense of a child and against the law? what about addictions? Isn’t moderation or the agony of quitting better even if it is painful or difficult? Perhaps I’m thinking of sily examples, but the people I’ve met who have said they embrace hedonism have often been those who are rebelling against limits and healthy living in moderation. Perhaps they don’t understand it in its ideal form—whatever that may be. Hey, I’m no expert!
What should we value? Should the seeking of pleasure and lack of discomfort trump an altruistic or sacrificial decision?
For mainstream, American Christians, living as a believer means packing God into every nook and cranny. The goal is to push yourself and your natural habits, tastes, desires, and thoughts out. The more visible God is in your life (through bible study, prayer, church, etc.) and the more disciplined you are, the more holy you would become. After such prolonged exposure to God it’s sort of like getting skin cancer if you decide to go tanning and look like an overcooked carrot all year round.
Here’s a perfect example of the vocabulary used to describe The ideal Christian “walk”, life, day, and dreams from KristinaLovesJesus.
What can we learn from this, children? Read on!
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