funny

Thursday Thirteen #2: Terrible Book Titles

thursdaythirteen All of these books have won the Bookseller/Diagram Prize for Oddest Title of the Year. It's my dream to one day make that list. Maybe one person will judge the book by its title and buy a copy!

  1. If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start with Your Legs (2007)
  2. Natural Bust Enlargement with Total Power: How to Increase the other 90% of Your Mind to Increase the Size of Your Breasts (1985)
  3. The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories (2003)
  4. The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification (2006)
  5. How to Shit in the Woods: An Environmentally Sound Approach to a Lost Art (1989)
  6. The Madam as Entrepreneur: Career Management in House Prostitution (1979)
  7. Reusing Old Graves: A Report on Popular British Attitudes (1995)
  8. Highlights in the History of Concrete (1994)
  9. The Book of Marmalade: Its Antecedents, Its History, and Its Role in the World Today (1984)
  10. People Who Don't Know They're Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It (2005)
  11. The Joy of Chickens (1980)
  12. Oral Sadism and the Vegetarian Personality (1986)
  13. [and my personal favorite since I would actually want to read it] How to Avoid Huge Ships (1992)
I even have a bonus list of titles that were also submitted for this contest. Aren't you lucky? (more…)

randomness

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips that Really Work!

[caption id="attachment_887" align="aligncenter" width="400" caption="Photo © Steve Rhodes"]Photo © Steve Rhodes[/caption] Tired of the same old tips about wearing longer skirts and always keeping an eye on your drink? Wish there was something that actually worked? Wonder no more! Here are two lists of fool-proof ways sexual assault can be prevented.

  1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
  2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
  3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
  4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
  5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
  6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
  7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
  8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
  9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
  10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
  11. And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
(source - update 5/30/12: 404 error) But wait, there's more! (more…)

Christianity

10 Definitions of Christian Lingo

I think every subgroup has its own set of buzzwords. Just ask anyone who’s attended business school about their “highly-functioning team synergy” or listen to a World of Warcraft gamer talk about anything…at all.  Well, religions are like that too, and the one I’m most familiar with is Christianity. “Christianese” Read more…