Godless Girl

… and her adventures in Atheism

Posts Tagged sex

Ted Haggard “Over-Repented?”

Aug 1

Posted by Godless Girl in christianity, religion | 2 Comments

ted haggard

Iz just kidding bout teh butt secks! lulz!

So Ted Haggard—former president of the National Association of Evangelicals and pastor of a right-wing megachurch in Colorado Springs, Colorado—had a long-standing affair with a gay prostitute and smoked crystal meth. This was back in 2006. He resigned from his leadership positions and publicly apologized for his “sinful behavior.”

Now, Haggard is working on building up a new church which is, yet again, in Colorado Springs, CO. “In a July 2010 interview he gave to CNN, Haggard claims that his feelings of sexual attraction to other men have miraculously disappeared. Haggard now portrays his encounter with the prostitute as a massage that went awry (wikipedia).” That was one long-term massage, Mr. Haggard!

After changing his story, now Haggard claims he “over-apologized”:

It seems to me that Haggard may be back-peddling to make his sin sound less awful than he previously admitted it really was.  Perhaps he’s trying to justify his right to preach morality and righteousness. Perhaps he’s downgrading from “horrible sin” to “street cred”. Check out this article on his return to the pulpit where he explains how his public sin has become a great thing for his church.

Oh, what a guy.

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Where Do Babies Come From?

Jun 30

Posted by Godless Girl in christianity, funny, quotes, relationships, religion, the bible | 14 Comments

from 'Wonderfully Made' (1967)

I used to think my education about sexuality and reproduction was sub-par, but this woman who wrote in to the advice column Ask Amy takes the cake, cookies, and the whole damn tub of ice cream.

Dear Amy: My husband and I are devout Catholics. We have chosen to protect the innocence of our 7-year-old son by not educating him about the “facts of life” until he hits puberty.

We have told him that the Virgin Mary puts a baby on your doorstep if you pray for one. He is in a Catholic school, so we don’t have to worry about “sexual education.”

My sister knows about our choice, but she does not approve of it. She is pregnant. Recently, she wore a “Baby on Board” T-shirt when visiting.

Our son asked about it, but I did not know what to tell him! What should I do if a problem like this arises in the future?

— Worried Mom

My reaction:

And then I nearly peed myself.

This is ridiculous even for Catholics. This poor child—who will undoubtedly discover the magical powers of his penis before his parents even admit he has one—can only be defined as a victim. His parents’ efforts to shelter him from all knowledge and curiosity will fail miserably thanks to his friends, television, the internet, and print media. They may be Super Catholics™, but they don’t live in a bubble.

I can understand the desire to protect your children from the more crude and basic aspects of life as much as possible, but by blatantly lying about something as obvious as  Mary “the Stork” Mother of Jesus and the fact that babies grow in a mother’s womb they are also killing his trust in them later once he finds out they deceived him. Why should he listen to anything they have to say about sex or the bible when they lie about something so innocent?

One of the main thrusts of Catholic morality is to wait until marriage to have intercourse. If this boy doesn’t learn that babies are a natural consequence of intercourse, he will be even more likely to go out and have sex early on, won’t he? And what a surprise it would be to have a young girl pregnant and the parents hearing their son say, “But I didn’t pray to Mary for a baby. Why did she bring one?”

Don’t even get me started with the mother’s offense at a “Baby On Board” t-shirt.

Oh, but let’s not forget the columnist’s response! Here’s what Amy said:

Dear Mom: You could ask your son’s teachers or clergy for guidance, but because you’re asking me, I’ll respond by asking you: Isn’t an essential element of the drama of Jesus’ birth that he was born of a human mother?

In the biblical version of “Baby on Board,” wasn’t Mary “great with child” when she and Joseph stumbled into Nazareth?

A baby isn’t a newspaper, left on the doorstep by an omnipotent delivery person.

All animals and humans give birth to babies, and even if you don’t want to explain how babies are conceived, it is both truthful and religiously defensible to tell your son that babies grow inside their mother’s bodies (or “tummies”) until they are born. If you want to fabricate the story of how they got there, go for it.

Bravo, and I hope she gets some sense knocked into her.

P.S. The image in this blog post is from Wonderfully Made—an amusing children’s book about families from the point of view of the 1960′s Catholic church. Check it out. Classic gold!

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Masturbation is a Sin! Unless…

Jun 9

Posted by Godless Girl in Jesus, christianity, facebook, funny, relationships, religion | 7 Comments

Trees are so hot. I just want to hump one right now. Like this guy!

Or maybe… not.

This facebook conversation could have been stolen from one of many a debates I had with other Christians when I was in college. We discussed the topic of masturbation more than anyone should. As you may know, the question “how far is too far?” is more than popular with those battling  raging hormones.

A consensus on whether masturbation was sinful or permissible was hard to come by; but in the end, a middle ground was reached that still let people pleasure themselves, but gave it a nice “sinless” protective barrier. So long as you did not lust and go against what Jesus taught in Matthew 5:27-28 [show] "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (ESV)
This text is from the ESV Bible. Visit www.esv.org to learn about the ESV., you were not sinning. However, if you fantasized or involved anyone else in the act, you were a dirty sexual deviant.

The idea that someone could masturbate without shame or sin is extremely popular with the young adult crowd. Christianity is calling you a nasty sinner if your hands explore your golden chalice/divining rod/pick your own name–even as your natural (supposedly created by god) body is telling you yes, yes YES! So how do you escape the thought police and still have that tremendous, shuddering release? Think about trees; imagine taking a Chemistry final; recite something you’ve memorized… and my personal favorite: pray!

Yes, I was actually told that if I prayed while I played, that god would keep me from sinning.

It didn’t help. In fact, that seems pretty fucked up to me.

Hey Christians, if any of you read this, here’s a tip:  If you want a healthy sex life in your future, don’t teach yourself early on that what comes naturally to you is shameful or dirty. Masturbation is just fine! And the mind is the most powerful sex organ you have. Don’t stifle it! And for goodness sake, don’t pray while you masturbate.

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Game Show Host Kisses Young Girls

Apr 15

Posted by Godless Girl in relationships, society, videos | 37 Comments

A Canadian game show called Just Like Mom aired from 1980-1985. Fergie Olver [whose name I kept misspelling, which is now fixed] and his wife Catherine Swing co-hosted the show for 4 of those years. Mr. Olver seemed to have a little obsession with affection, and a viewer caught on to that trend and edited the video you’ll see below. This is what it can look like when an adult is showing inappropriate sexual attention to a child.Oliv

I’m neither a psychologist nor expert on these issues, but I’d like to share my interpretations and thoughts about what’s going on here:

The Mothers

Why don’t the mothers do anything about Fergie Olver’s behavior? They’re sitting right next to their daughters who are being pressured into giving out kisses to a middle aged man. I think they hold back out of embarrassment or fear. If they say something, it’s on television in front of an audience that wants lighthearted entertainment. The producers and director would be angry for the disruption. They’d draw attention to themselves. Maybe it’s not a big deal, they might think. This is just funny and non-threatening.

  • Can someone who was the age of those children or older tell me what affection with strangers or family friends was like back then? Was it more socially acceptable?

The Audience

Is it nervous laughter we hear in the background, or is it truly amused chortles? It bothers me to hear little snippets of cheering when a girl finally gives in to the pressure.

The Host

Fergie Olver uses a light, playful tone of voice when talking to the girls. He showers them with compliments and asks about their personal life–even the dating practices of one girl. He uses his body to get very close, covering their personal space with his arm around the back of the chair and his head stooped low to make eye contact. He moves closer and tricks the girls into bringing their faces up before stealing a peck on the cheek or even the lips.

When a girl refuses or acts nervous, Olver either goes for the kiss anyway and ignores their feelings, or he tries to persuade them; he even tells Alison (0:46) with a whisper in her ear that if she gives him a kiss, she’ll win the show. When she refuses, he warns her of the consequences.  What do we call coersion of a sexual nature? That’s right kids: sexual harrassment.

What. A. Fucking. Skeezebag. I wonder what Olver’s wife thought of his sexual miscunduct on the show? What was he like in private when the cameras weren’t rolling?

The Kids

Who’s my favorite kid? Alison (0:46) who says clearly that she does not give out hugs and kisses freely and that no she will not give him one even when he asks repeatedly. Alison’s mom calls him a “dirty old man” after he tries to bribe Alison. That’s the one piece of honest observation we get to see in this video, and I don’t feel that anythiing is amusing or wrong about her saying what everyone should have been thinking.

The girls’ body language should say enough: We see two of the girls physically move away from Olver when he goes in for the kiss. They’re startled, frightened, and uncomfortable. That is called unwanted sexual touching.

How did this douchebag get away with such flagrant behavior? Have we simply grown more aware of the dangers of that sort of attention than we were back then? What do you think of these clips?

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